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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That rugby player…in a scrum with a woman down an alleyway… wtf!

881 replies

GoingOnce · 15/02/2023 19:53

AIBU to be shocked someone would want to do this/have it done to them? I mean, the main offense is that he’s cheated on his poor wife, but also - is this a thing??? 🤢

OP posts:
whereaw · 16/02/2023 08:58

If this is allowed we should allow up-skirting, which the media used to regularly do. They are in public after all.

eighteenthirteen1 · 16/02/2023 08:59

You know nothing of what led up to the video, he's a hugely strong rugby player, can you not conceive that she might have been physically threatened into that position, scared not to go along with it

It's almost like you're wishing she isn't consenting. Odd. Occam's razor suggests she's consenting

cobblers123 · 16/02/2023 09:00

America12 · 16/02/2023 06:19

😂

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Hepatitis A 😱

crochetmonkey74 · 16/02/2023 09:00

For those posters saying this is normal behaviour- you are desensitised!

Littleloveydovey · 16/02/2023 09:01

Moveoverdarlin · 16/02/2023 08:43

I can’t see how anyone could say she wasn’t consenting. She can stand up and walk away. He looks far more worse for wear than she does. Bending over and putting my hands on the ground is not something I could do after a few drinks. And secondly she may have lost her job because employers (especially small companies like an estate agents) don’t like their employees bare asses going viral around the world. Come on! Of course she’s sacked. Give it another week, and he will be too. These few minutes of drunken madness will change their lives forever.

I’m shocked too. I don’t know anyone who when so drunk that they cannot consent, can bend over, hold that position steady, and with their knickers round their ankles and a pair of heels on. It would be impossible. So she was sober enough she could do that.

why are people looking to blame anyone but them. It isn’t anyone’s fault bar theirs.

they were both cheating.
unlikely for the first time, as no one suggests a public rimming sesh as their first dalliance,
they did it in public, where anyone could have walked down there and seen them.

the pity and empathy should be for their spouses and children. The disgust should be for the pair of them and no one else. Not the video taker not the employer, no one. Those two alone are responsible.

ReneBumsWombats · 16/02/2023 09:01

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 16/02/2023 08:58

No sympathy for her. I'd prefer someone who exposes cheaters to work for me than a cheat who gets on all fours down an alleyway.

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You hire people based on their private Iives and whether they expose other people's private lives?

And I thought my industry sucked.

StepAwayFromGoogling · 16/02/2023 09:03

whereaw · 16/02/2023 08:58

If this is allowed we should allow up-skirting, which the media used to regularly do. They are in public after all.

Not even remotely the same thing.

Tratjymp · 16/02/2023 09:04

eighteenthirteen1 · 16/02/2023 08:57

Perhaps you can answer as no one else is, how is it obvious

Because she's standing still rather than walking away.

Looks to me like it's right up her alley.

FawnFrenchieMum · 16/02/2023 09:05

I can't believe some people are now suggesting she hadn't consented, that just makes a mockery of the situation for people who genuinely haven't consented.
For total clarity, I'm talking about consenting to the act, not to the filming or distributing.

Littleloveydovey · 16/02/2023 09:05

ReneBumsWombats · 16/02/2023 09:01

You hire people based on their private Iives and whether they expose other people's private lives?

And I thought my industry sucked.

Show quote history

Yes, yes that’s what the poster said, yes absolutely they interview people and check their morality around public rimming and cheating and make a hiring decision,

what a ludicrous response.

Roselilly36 · 16/02/2023 09:06

Terrible situation that will have caused much pain and hurt for everyone involved, and another example of irresponsible MSM reporting.

ReneBumsWombats · 16/02/2023 09:07

Littleloveydovey · 16/02/2023 09:05

Yes, yes that’s what the poster said, yes absolutely they interview people and check their morality around public rimming and cheating and make a hiring decision,

what a ludicrous response.

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Ludicrous posts get responses that highlight their ludicrousness. Start talking about how important private lives and exposing them are for recruiters, expect to get the piss taken.

whereaw · 16/02/2023 09:10

@StepAwayFromGoogling I don't think the media should share pornographic content without the individuals consent. Do you?

Their feeble attempts at privacy (an alley) were still attempts at privacy. They didn't engage in the act in the middle of the bar.

Like a woman getting into a taxi with a short skirt and flashing for all to see, take a video or photo, and share. This the media no longer do. At one point it was very normal.

They aren't the same, no, but similar.

BadNomad · 16/02/2023 09:12

Wth... How did this go from being two cheaters cheating to rape??

TimeForMeToF1y · 16/02/2023 09:12

Littleloveydovey · 16/02/2023 08:55

thr man who took it clearly wasn’t wishing to have a go. It was someone who knew him and her. And as we don’t know who he is. And why he released it, it could even have been the husband or the husbands friend, who knows, but until you know who it was and why, then it’s not ok to hurl abuse at him.

as said, the only people responsible are the pair of them.

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What justification could there be for the public ruining of the lives of the children?

Imo the video releaser is the worst one here imo

Florenz · 16/02/2023 09:12

It was a very silly thing for them both to do and they will have to live with the repercussions of this for the rest of their lives.

Littleloveydovey · 16/02/2023 09:13

ReneBumsWombats · 16/02/2023 09:07

Ludicrous posts get responses that highlight their ludicrousness. Start talking about how important private lives and exposing them are for recruiters, expect to get the piss taken.

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Well yes, case in point, where your own ludicrous post for highlighted.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 16/02/2023 09:13

*You hire people based on their private Iives and whether they expose other people's private lives?

And I thought my industry sucked.*

Not quite what I said but I can see reading comprehension isn't your thing.

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 16/02/2023 09:13

I have to say I absolutely hate it when posters assume the rest of us know what they’re talking about. At least have the courtesy to post a link.

Littleloveydovey · 16/02/2023 09:15

Imo the video releaser is the worst one here imo

wow. Really, two people cheating, with their friends, engaging in public sex, two married people, two people with children. Rimming in public.

and for you the worst is the person who told?

fuck me,that’s a whole different level of morality,

jemimapuddlepluck · 16/02/2023 09:16

BatshitBanshee · 16/02/2023 08:25

"Oh nooooo someone called me out on my gross opinions and now I'm uncomfortable and have have no other options other than to reduce to profanity because I don't have the capacity to argue my way out of this vile corner I've boxed myself into. Wahhhhhhhhfuckoffwaaaahhhhhh....."

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WTF😂fucking batshit. Also, stop stalking people's previous posts you fucking weirdo.
I'm glad his wife/her husband have found out, horrific for the kids though.
People are so grim. In an alleyway behind a greggs ffs 🤦‍♀️

ReneBumsWombats · 16/02/2023 09:16

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 16/02/2023 09:13

*You hire people based on their private Iives and whether they expose other people's private lives?

And I thought my industry sucked.*

Not quite what I said but I can see reading comprehension isn't your thing.

I understand risible comments about valuing employees based on their private lives or exposing other people's, and I understand using rhetoric to highlight the risibility.

You'll catch up.

Littleloveydovey · 16/02/2023 09:17

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 16/02/2023 09:13

I have to say I absolutely hate it when posters assume the rest of us know what they’re talking about. At least have the courtesy to post a link.

The rest of us do.

Twawmyarse2 · 16/02/2023 09:17

TheNoonBell · 16/02/2023 06:20

@TimeForMeToF1y It was funny in the context. Context being something you appear to struggle to comprehend.

It really wasn't.

Im assuming you're a man? No woman would find that funny. You're disgusting.

Florenz · 16/02/2023 09:18

Littleloveydovey · 16/02/2023 09:15

Imo the video releaser is the worst one here imo

wow. Really, two people cheating, with their friends, engaging in public sex, two married people, two people with children. Rimming in public.

and for you the worst is the person who told?

fuck me,that’s a whole different level of morality,

Whatever they did, they didn't deserve it being filmed without their consent and released for the whole world to see.