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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That rugby player…in a scrum with a woman down an alleyway… wtf!

881 replies

GoingOnce · 15/02/2023 19:53

AIBU to be shocked someone would want to do this/have it done to them? I mean, the main offense is that he’s cheated on his poor wife, but also - is this a thing??? 🤢

OP posts:
Advicerequest · 16/02/2023 05:33

the person who filmed and shared this is odious: He is the one who deserve to be named and shamed.

HarlanPepper · 16/02/2023 05:34

Aurorabored · 16/02/2023 00:16

Lots of very drunk people do. I was unlucky enough to walk past an alley in a city centre and see a couple going at it in broad daylight. I carried on walking. I didn’t stop and film it because who does that?

Show quote history

Well, quite. And all the people watching the film - what's going on there? It's titilation dressed up as moral outrage.

StandALot · 16/02/2023 05:54

I don't know why people want to watch it either.
If I want to see arse licking, I'll watch my dog.

Simonjt · 16/02/2023 05:55

Revenge porn is rightly illegal, this comes under the definition of revenge porn in the UK, so why on earth are so many media outlets happily sharing stills of this?

Simonjt · 16/02/2023 05:57

SpringyChicken · 15/02/2023 22:10

Agree wholeheartedly. It should be a criminal offence.

Show quote history

It is, this comes under revenge porn.

BatshitBanshee · 16/02/2023 06:02

Trez1510 · 16/02/2023 04:25

I don't know how either of them can come back from this.

The humiliation and shame will be unbearable.

As others have said, this sort of public humiliation causes people to take their own lives.

I completely agree the actions of both were stupid, selfish and sordid.

The creature who filmed and released it is much, much worse than them imo.

Yes I totally agree. The person who filmed it, asked "can I have a go?" (vile) and then shared it online without consent is absolutely the worst person here IMO. If they don't get prosecuted for revenge porn, I do hope karma comes knocking - loudly and often. Disgusting thing to do.

whereaw · 16/02/2023 06:05

If you're watching the video, you're part of the problem.

These are two human beings who made a very drunken mistake. Maybe they had taken something in addition to drink and weren't thinking straight. They will pay the price without our judgment.

Yes they were in a public place but clearly they were not sound of mind, and therefore to actually sit and watch and share this video is pretty low in my opinion.

TheNoonBell · 16/02/2023 06:06

The bit that made me really laugh was the guy filming saying "can I have a go" at the end.

TimeForMeToF1y · 16/02/2023 06:13

TheNoonBell · 16/02/2023 06:06

The bit that made me really laugh was the guy filming saying "can I have a go" at the end.

Why did you find that funny? Are you aware of the recent rape trial in which those same qotsq were uaed?

You might want to have a word with yourself

America12 · 16/02/2023 06:19

stbrandonsboat · 15/02/2023 20:04

E Coli 🤢

😂

TheNoonBell · 16/02/2023 06:20

@TimeForMeToF1y It was funny in the context. Context being something you appear to struggle to comprehend.

BatshitBanshee · 16/02/2023 06:21

TimeForMeToF1y · 16/02/2023 06:13

Why did you find that funny? Are you aware of the recent rape trial in which those same qotsq were uaed?

You might want to have a word with yourself

Show quote history

Yep that trial ran through my head as well. @TheNoonBell I really can't see the humour in that.

BatshitBanshee · 16/02/2023 06:23

TheNoonBell · 16/02/2023 06:20

@TimeForMeToF1y It was funny in the context. Context being something you appear to struggle to comprehend.

The context being... A woman under the influence, in a vulnerable position, possibly lacking capacity to consent to a stranger, and yet it's funny to think of her as a thing to be used to "have a go" with? Really? That's funny @TheNoonBell ?

KimberleyClark · 16/02/2023 06:27

Cam22 · 16/02/2023 00:04

What kind of person BEHAVES like the rugby player and the pathetic woman?

This. I’d like to think 99% of people would have more class than to have sex in public no matter how shitfaced they were. (By class I mean knowledge of how to behave, not anything to do with social class or money.)

My heart goes out to his wife and kids. And the woman’s.

TheNoonBell · 16/02/2023 06:27

@BatshitBanshee You are really living up to your moniker.

  • Humour is subjective
  • All parties appeared to be consenting
OntarioBagnet · 16/02/2023 06:31

I feel so sorry for his kids and her kids. Other kids at school have been snapchatting the video to them! Or certainly to his kids. I’m sure her kids will see it at some point.

Newtonsnipple · 16/02/2023 06:33

I agree that the person filming is odious and disgusted me far more than the video, the participants of which I actually felt some pity for.

From a completely selfish perspective, I’d be in two minds if it was my husband that was filmed. If only because I might be persuaded to forgive a ‘drunken alley fumble’ but there is no way in hell I’d ever let his lips near me again after watching THAT.

BatshitBanshee · 16/02/2023 06:35

TheNoonBell · 16/02/2023 06:27

@BatshitBanshee You are really living up to your moniker.

  • Humour is subjective
  • All parties appeared to be consenting

All parties appeared to be consenting to... Being filmed and having it distributed online?

OntarioBagnet · 16/02/2023 06:39

Years ago when I was younger and used to go “out out” there was a large bar in town with an alley by the side of it. The bar had one way glass windows down the side. Nearly every weekend someone would be shagging down that alley, oblivious to the fact that the whole bar had stopped and was watching them through the window while people were yelling and whooping. It was before smart phones were a thing.

OntarioBagnet · 16/02/2023 06:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

How on Earth does a position of a tattoo make someone a tramp?

TheNoonBell · 16/02/2023 06:45

@BatshitBanshee Legally there is no expectation of privacy in a public place.

Newtonsnipple · 16/02/2023 06:55

OntarioBagnet · 16/02/2023 06:43

How on Earth does a position of a tattoo make someone a tramp?

Show quote history

I believe this person is referring to the ‘tramp stamp’.

A derogatory phrase describing a tattoo on a woman’s (never a man’s) lower back which therefore means that the woman is cheap and easy.

🙄

OntarioBagnet · 16/02/2023 07:00

Yeah I get that they’re regurgitating shite about tramp stamps, just trying to point out how ridiculous it is. Especially as they seem to believe it, actually saying that the tattoo makes her a tramp. Wtf? Do people not engage their brain and actually think?

Lampzade · 16/02/2023 07:03

The thought of him going back home with his nasty mouth and kissing his wife after having his tongue in another woman’s arse.
Absolutely disgusting.

MooseOfWallStreet · 16/02/2023 07:05

Looks like they've both hit rock bottom