To feel sad about not being able to join this class at the gym?

[Sadlifter]

I'm mid fifties, and in January I joined a 6 week women's weight lifting class. I really enjoyed it, improved hugely and can now do back squats, deadlines and bench presses. Last night was the last one, and the instructor had been talking about an intermediate class. He came to me at the end and said I wasn't quite ready to join the new intermediate class. There was another beginners class about to run but new joiners would be given priority. I said oh, OK, is there any way of me continuing in a class setting, and he just looked awkward and said no not at the moment.

I feel ridiculously sad about it! I'd finally found some exercise that I really enjoyed. I was lifting similar weights to the other women and he'd always said my form was excellent. I'm prepared to accept perhaps I wasn't as 'good' as the others although I didn't feel like that at the time.

AIBU to feel like a sad middle aged woman this morning?

Dh says I should just go to the gym on my own and do it myself, but I enjoyed the company of the other women and the instructor being on hand.

He was actually a really good instructor! I liked him, he was thorough and encouraging until the last day.

Glad you’ve found an activity you love OP, and you’ve made good progress by the sounds of things. Sounds as though you might be able to get onto the intermediate class now?

Just wanted to say: I teach Bodypump and by the sounds of things it isn’t the same sort of lifting that you’ve been doing. It sounds to me like you’ve been lifting heavy with short sets of reps? This type of lifting is for building strength and making muscles bigger! Bodypump is more about muscular endurance, so it won’t necessarily give people bigger muscles or increase their power by a great deal; rather it improves your muscular endurance which is beneficial for functional strength, ie it improves your ability to complete day to day activities like carrying something heavy for an extended period, walking up a steep hill etc. We spend 5-6 mins on each muscle group, usually without a recovery, so it’s light weights, high reps. Most people using weights in a gym or weights room are doing the opposite: heavy weights, low reps.

Complain to management! Ridic that you shouldn’t get priority on the beginners class.

FWIW I do bodypump 4 times a week and I love it. I’ve been doing it for years.

However, there are total beginners in the class also. I am focussing on increasing weights - beginners focus on posture / positioning with lighter weights.

I’d be looking for a new gym.

If not ask what you need to work on and work on that…

This is nonsense. Plenty of people (myself included) lift barbells in the rep ranges for muscular endurance rather than hypertrophy.

If he’s not being inclusive and is clearly ageist then he isn’t a good instructor. He hasn’t worked with you enough to get you where you need to be but he’s ditching you. That’s his failing not yours. Find a new instructor. Boo to that dick.

Sounds like he is the problem.

Please can you indicate where the instructor is "clearly ageist"?

Which bit is nonsense @Hopeislost? The bit where I used the word most?

In my experience, in the many gyms I use, most of the people I see using weights are lifting heavy for fewer reps. I don’t often see a person in a weights room performing bicep curls for 5 minutes solid or repeating squats for 6 minutes without a rest, which is why I was saying that Bodypump doesn’t resemble the sort of lifting that most people do in gyms.

I’m sure some people in gyms are lifting in endurance ranges- but I don’t think the OP is one of them.

@waterlego You have completely misrepresented endurance ranges to suit your own agenda. It's generally accepted as anything from 12-15 reps upwards. Not 5/6 minutes straight!

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7927075/

I'm 50 and love weightlifting. I started going to the gym about 18 months ago but found the staff there quite unhelpful so kind of bumbled about not really knowing what I was doing (kind of taught myself by watching other people and you tube videos) but wasn't progressing. I moved to a new town in the summer, joined a new gym and got myself a personal trainer for one hour once a week. It's the best thing I've ever done! He shows me how to lift properly, how to progress and teaches me about nutrition. Then I go off and work out on my own the rest of the week. It's an expense I can't really afford but I try to squeeze the money from somewhere as it keeps me both mentally and physically fit. I really recommend doing that if you can afford it. My confidence has soared and I feel so healthy and strong. Good luck and don't stop!!

You’ve misunderstood me then @Hopeislost. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Maybe I didn’t explain myself well but that was not what I meant. I was agreeing with another poster who had disagreed with the ‘try Bodypump’ posts because it sounds like that isn’t what the OP wants to do!

No I don't think I'd enjoy bodypump. I like the slowness of lifting. I am thinking of getting a PT once a fortnight.

I think that I would be reporting him to the gym for ageism. It is unreasonable of him not to let you redo the beginners class if he genuinely didn't think you were up to the intermediate.
He sounds like a creep.

Oh that’s rubbish of the instructor. Did he say why you weren’t ready? If you’re lifting pretty much the same weights as the other women it seems odd. But really, if the “intermediate “ class is just doing the same standard compound lifts, but heavier weights, I don’t see what the problem is.

Proper heavy lifting is great - I started doing it in my late 50s and I’m the fittest I’ve ever been. And can deadlift 1and a half times my body weight!

How about finding a Body Pump class? Uses weights, group setting,

Pump is nothing like proper heavy weight lifting. It’s mostly aerobic/cardio effective, not strength focused.

Can I suggest trying a powerlifting gym?

I do powerlifting 3 times a week and while there are classes we are each given a basic program which is tweaked for each person based on injuries, limitations etc.

In the 'class' you work through at your own pace and it's normally a class size of about 10 max which 4 coaches and then help you out, make sure you have the correct form.

Classes aren't base on level it can have beginners to advanced in the one group as even though it's not one on one PT you still get personalised service.

I've done if for 12 months and love it.

Offer to leave and join again then you will be a “new member “

I would absolutely complain to the manager. If you've done the beginners class you are ready for intermediate. He is absolutely beig ageist.

Glad I read all your posts to find out he’s leaving!
I was just going to point out the ridiculousness of holding another beginners course if not everyone can process to another course. Then you just have people in limbo.

What a truly awful policy. The whole point of gym classes is a group setting to improve together, whatever your ability. Instead, they've set a bar for exclusion. Please don't lose the gains of these classes. They should be ENCOURAGING you to rejoin, not turning you down