Stop telling my child your his mama !

[camila21]

So my MIL and FIL keep trying to get my child to call my MIL mama, mother or a similar sounding name. They are originally from a northern country so I am not sure if this is cultural.

It started when my child was 18 months old he would call me Mama and my husband dada. One day I heard my MIL tell my child to call her mother and then on another occasion Mama. When I asked my mother in law not to call her self Mama she said I was mistaken... but I wasnt.

I heard my FIL do the same thing. Until my child shouted at them saying 'you are not my mama!'
Now they want my child to call my MIL a name from their country that strangly sounds like mummy, they said it means grandmother in the country. Should I talk to them or wait till they give up?

People tended to think he was older than he was , he was really tall too.

Some people could be odd about it. You get plenty of competitive parents out there . He was out of nappies by 20 months as well which was another thing that seemed to offend the competitive parents.

Had nothing to do with my parenting obviously, it was just the way he was

When you had a little one could he/she say some sounds /words easily in a sentence and mumble or not be able to say other sounds/words. Like he struggles to say guinepig but can put it in a sentence but the word guinepig is mumbly

Competitive mums shouldnt care about how other toddlers develop. A toddler that talks early can embarrass you with their honest observations...because they dont know what they are allowed to say out loud...Or say a simple sentence that can seem cheeky and abrupt! to others.

Thank you again for all your tips I am going to have the talk with MIL I am sure it can be sorted.

Ma-mar is a very common name for a grandma in Derbyshire.

I called my friend's French grandmother mamie, as she did. Could it be something similar?

Sorry I don't get this. Your child will know who you snd your dh are. What's it matter what they call them. Kids usually make up names anyway.

I read uothread someone would be livid at this. Christ how ridiculous.

Kids go with what you use. So I called mil nana then kids called her nanna

@camila21 how often does your DS see his grandmother?

Fml my 18 month old can only muster daggy (daddy)

My husband’s grandmother made him & his younger brother refer to her as “Mother” all her life and their mom, her own daughter, they ended up calling her “momma”. If they didn’t, they got into trouble. Their mom worked a lot as she was a single mom with 2 kids, so they unfortunately spent a lot of theme with their grandmother. This abuse added to my brother in law’s mental issues and is greatly affecting him into his adult life. When he has episodes and his mental state is not clear, anyone who will ask him about his “mother” or if he’s in a hospital or jail facility and told his “mother” is on the phone, he tells them she’s dead. We have to remind everyone including their mom, that she has to tell whoever, to say his brother “your momma is on the phone”, or he will scream at them “the evil bi* is dead!”. Their grandmother, yes, she is dead. She passed away about 5-6 years ago. She was a controlling, abusive woman, and her abuse greatly contributed to my brother in law’s mental issues & multiple personality disorder. It’s hard to see how much that woman’s manipulation affected my mother-in-law, my brother in law and my husband.

My husband was strong enough to see it, and stop her from controlling and manipulating him. Unfortunately, that woman is still controlling & manipulating her daughter & her other grandson from the grave. It’s horrible. I strongly recommend you stop it now regardless if it is a cultural thing or not. It’s not healthy.

"I have a teen who still calls me Mama, so it may stick"

I have a teen who calls me either bro, G or pimp, so it may not.

Something very wrong with your pil. I wouldn’t even let them use grandmama and grand papa because they will shorten it back to mama and papa. In fact, because they are so deranged and demented, I’d supervise any visit and would assign them names that can’t possibly be distorted into your name or your dh’s name. Use THEIR first names and be done with their blatantly devious games. Insane!

I came back on this thread to ask if anyone else would get wound up by this and Reading some of the comments clearly they would.
Honestly where do people get the headspace and time to get so agitated about such a non-issue? Obviously your child knows you are his mother. You are just indulging in unnecessary attention-seeking drama to prove some kind of point.
As I have already said, having a baby does not give you the right to micromanage everyone else.

Are you a domineering grandparent with no understanding or respect for boundaries per chance?

Nope I have no grandchildren.
Just an amazed observer of the obsessive and possessive behavior that seems to define MN parenting.

Love this 😂