Stop telling my child your his mama !

[camila21]

So my MIL and FIL keep trying to get my child to call my MIL mama, mother or a similar sounding name. They are originally from a northern country so I am not sure if this is cultural.

It started when my child was 18 months old he would call me Mama and my husband dada. One day I heard my MIL tell my child to call her mother and then on another occasion Mama. When I asked my mother in law not to call her self Mama she said I was mistaken... but I wasnt.

I heard my FIL do the same thing. Until my child shouted at them saying 'you are not my mama!'
Now they want my child to call my MIL a name from their country that strangly sounds like mummy, they said it means grandmother in the country. Should I talk to them or wait till they give up?

I think he won't always call me Mama he just couldn't say mummy. I just wanted her to have a name because it gone on for so long he is now calling my parents grandma and grandad.

Your DCs you choose what they call their grandparents. I never gave mine a choice. I have a narcissistic mother who has a weird thing about her having my Dads family name, I never felt she deserved what I called my paternal grandmother. I loved my Grandmother, my mother did her best to try and destroy that relationship so I settled on something I knew would piss her off, because it’s what my SIL gets her children to call my mother and she’s complained about it for 30 years.

DHs mum died and although he dosnt have an issue with his step mum he didn’t want her having what would have been his mums name so we changed it up. Both have very common respected grandmother names i.e plenty of cards in the shops, just not what they would have preferred.

I can’t believe the things people make such a drama about.
Anyway is it Oma? where are gps from?

Your FIVE month old would call you Mama? Your husband can’t tell you the translation of what they are asking your child to call them?

Nah.

Yes I asked her first, and suggested typical english names but told she can picķ a name from her country but she didn't give me a name. I don't think she could decide at the time and tried out different names. In the meanwhile he started to learn everyone else's name. But she kept calling herself different names and when my child was 18months she chose my name.

Oh i had this.

My sister in laws children called her mama because they was trained too by MIL.

I put my foot down. She tried and tried and would call me by my first name to my own child. 4 years later she is her cultural grandma name and my child's never called her mama.

A tip. CHOOSE the name you want and train your baby. Show pics of her repeating the name. And limit one to one interactions without you there.

In hindsight it would have been easier to give them names because now it's all gotten silly.

Omg I would nip that in the bud NOW!!! We had this happen with my in-laws, saying go to mummy or Come to daddy knocked me sick. It's not there kid... end of. Why are grandparents so entitled it's baffling to me

My DS calls my mum (his grandmother) mama. I called my grandmother mama too. Mother's are called mum. I'm in the north if that makes a difference.

My grandson has decided that when I look after him I'm "like mummy" he does usually call me granny but this like mummy is his own invention .

Why are you being so secretive about the country?

If you say what it is, perhaps MNetters can help with a suitable solution?

Add in her name ..so Mama Marie and Dada John. Or whatever the equivalent is in their language. Keep saying it to your dc and it will stick.
In lreland grandma's are sometimes called Mamo. Itwould nice if it was the name from their own country with own name added.

So start it now, baby is 18 months not 28 years. You're talking like it's too late.
Photo of your parents, look it's Grandma and Grandpa.
Photo of DHs parents, looks in Nanna and Gramps.
You see your parents, Give Grandma and Grandpa a wave hello Heidi
You see his parents, Give Nanna and Gramps a wave hello Heidi

Etc
Etc

Your MIL is overstepping, and I expect is fully aware of it - she knows that you're Mama and she wants to be too.

My mother was a little bit the same - would say 'my baby' or 'our baby', but at least she accepted Nana as her title, though she claimed that my daughter said Nana as her first word, and that she got the first smile too.

Your partner needs to have a chat with their mother - Mama and mother are off the table, if she can't come up with a different title she can be Gran, or Grannie - to be honest whatever she'd like least.

Some grandparents are entitled and overstep - my mother really loved my daughter, but I think she wanted my daughter to love her more than me. Which is not healthy.

I didn't think of just using photos and saying the names I'm going with grandmama. I dont want this to go on any longer. Thank you!

Thank you for the tips I'm just going to change her name to grandmama.

Our children's gran they call mama except it sounds different to how its spelt so its basically sounds like there saying marmar....anyway your lil one will change from mama our 3 just recently started saying mummy and not mama and daddy not dada lol

Sorry I meant great gran thays what they call her...for my parent it's the normal granda and grandma

He could say dada but couldn't pronounce U and Y in mummy so started to say mama when he saw me. So it stuck I use to try getting him to say mummy but he laughs saying mu_ieeeee but won't call me mummy.

In Skandi countries, Mormor is most commonly used as “Granny”. You may have actually heard her saying that.

If she’s Danish, Grandmother (usually used in a sentence like “My grandmother is very old and she sleeps a lot”) Bedstemor, and Grandma or Granny which is most commonly used to address grandmothers is Mormor (kinda hoping it’s that one.).
If she’s Swedish, it’s either Mormor or Farmor
If she’s Norwegian, Bestemor, Mormor or Farmor
If she’s Finnish, it’s isoäiti or Mummo

.

I think you are being controlling to make your child say anything, and you are coming across very dramatically

Maybe calm down first? Before doing anything else

Depends. In France, Mami stands for grandmother.

If you go for grandmama then he is likely to call her mama anyway as grandmama is a bit of a mouthful for a tot.

Yes, exactly this. I asked my parents and in-laws what they'd like to be called.
How do they sign his birthday cards? How do you not know at 18 months? 🤔

I'm also astonished that 18 months have passed and you're in this mess ! I think most people work this out during pregnancy. My DC call all their 6 grandparents " Grandma / grandad" and their Christian name. Easy. You need to sort it out and stick to it.