People on good wages saying they are struggling

[ChopSuey2]

Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed by people on good wages saying they are struggling?

I am not talking about people who have good wages but are paying off large debts or whose childcare leaves them broke, but people who say they can't afford to live on a certain amount but actually have a decent or even lots of money left after essentials. Equally, people whose essentials (food shopping and heating particularly) are ludicrously high (not including those with high costs related to disability).

I really feel like people need to read the room. People are genuinely struggling and saying you can't afford to live on a good wage is insensitive.

I'm not sure if it's relevant but I would consider myself to be on a good wage (not a higher tax payer and in London).

YABU - people can say they can't afford to live on a good wage because it's all relative
YANBU - people need to think about what being unable to afford things really means

Bollocks. If you commute then having an old banger (4k down to 1.5k) would be false economy and really quite stressful. You'd have to save any money you made incase you needed them for repairs. Who wants to leave the house every day not knowing of they'll make it to work and back. If you want to then that's fine but it's not everyone's choice nor is it a luxury to have a reliable vehicle which enables you to work.

Especially given the way second hand car prices have spiralled in the last couple of years. One sees quite a few posts on here from people who clearly haven't had cause to look for one during the pandemic. If people are going to talk to us about their 1.5k bangers, they should really tell us when they bought them.

Yep, that's just plain wrong. If you have high enough childcare and/or rent costs, you can be well into the 40% tax bracket and still getting UC. I was reading something the other day about the small but growing group of UC claimants who earn too much for full child benefit. The 37k figure has been pulled out of that poster's arse.

And that speaks to the underlying problem: that we have a society where housing in particular is so expensive that people can be earning quite a lot and still in need of support.

And that speaks to the underlying problem: that we have a society where housing in particular is so expensive that people can be earning quite a lot and still in need of support.

Yes housing makes a massive difference & people underestimate costs.

We live off one income so are used to limited amounts of money, no mortgage. Family vehicle paid outright too.

We chose a mortgage years ago based on one salary as a worse case scenario. Cleared it several years ago. We live well within our means.

It can be done but many people are very materialistic out there and want expensive property, cars etc. Living modestly pays off.

We have a new vehicle and one used one.
The used one is now causing issues a very bloody week, it's not even that old 6yrs. The aim is to refresh both vehicles as they're essential for us to get to and from work. It's not just about looking good or being fancy. With 15 hrs plus of commuting every week and a management position and business with staff we need to keep on the road.
It is an essential need.
Pre covid we were ready to choose a luxurious new home. Then we changed tack, a cheaper house (2/3 rds less) so we weren't leveraged just in case. 5 yr fixed, and upon renewal, we'll go for a 10-yr fixed. At least we'll know what our housing costs are every month for the next decade. It's such a weight off our minds. Even if the worst would happen all our bills and life can be covered by one salary.
Food shopping has always been kept under control, this isn't anything to do with covid, it's just how we deal with finances.
Holidays, of course, we could afford 5-star plus, renting villas, but we can holiday 5-6 times ayr instead of 2 or 3. Or if the worst comes to the worst we could just go lay in the dunes in Blackpool.

We chose a mortgage years ago based on one salary as a worse case scenario. Cleared it several years ago. We live well within our means.

It can be done but many people are very materialistic out there and want expensive property, cars etc. Living modestly pays off.

I think the key message here is a mortgage years ago. I don't want an expensive property, particularly the fact it's only a bog standard small terrace, But I don't have much choice due to my age. However my mortgage is still cheaper then rent.

I know my salary is decent. But I run out of money in week three of the month every month. There are things I need to change like not buying ready meals, swapping to cheaper products. But really, other than bills and rent, food shopping is the only thing I spend badly on. And I feel hard done by that I work hard, earn a good wage that I have got to after years of focussing on my careers and I can’t afford to buy the food I want to eat. I don’t moan to anyone on a lower salary than me because it would be tone deaf. I wouldn’t have posted this either if it wasn’t anonymous.

Thing is there is a huge issue around wage stagnation & housing & childcare costs particularly for young people & young families who are working & feel like it's pointless. No wonder so many HCPs are going abroad.

There is a huge difference between tightening your belt and struggling

im having to tighten my belt at the moment (I earn just over the average wage) colleagues I know who are on below average wage are struggling

im still managing to put food on the table, buy some clothes, book a holiday if you are able to do this (and many I know are who claim to be struggling) you are not just maybe having got the choices you are used to

Absolutely true, if of course you have access to the £4k to make that choice in the first place.

And no one wants to leave the house not knowing if they'll get there and back, but if they don't have the luxury of a choice about it, then that's just part of their life.

So as that poster says, that's the difference, the ability to consider a £4k car a necessity rather than a luxury.

Correct. The key word here is “chosen “. You chose to live your lifestyle when you could not afford it (with a buffer)

If your costs have gone up by 20% and you cannot now afford your lifestyle , you could never really afford it before , and were living beyond your means. This is different to people who simply cannot afford to eat or heat.

My sisters mortgage has increased by £300, this is on a £150k mortgage, house worth £200k. Plus all the bills. This is a cheap 2 bedroom house where we live. Her buffer was hundreds of £s before covid, how much buffer should she have had?

What about those on one salary already, they need a house/flat to live in with their kids. It's all very well people saying you should base your lifestyle on one salary but it's not feasible for everyone.

I think this is correct for high earners when planning originally. If essential bills go up 20% you usually should be able to afford this however since covid there have been many redundancies and other factors that mean this isn't necessarily the case that people are able to manage.

YABU. We have a relatively good wage (£85k) but we’re still finding it quite tough right now. You’ve given all these exemptions as to why it’s ‘ok’ to struggle but these are the exact reasons that people on OK wages struggle. You sound a little bit jealous and/or insecure.

Just curious as to what you mean by struggling on £85k. Do you mean can't put a meal on the table? Or do you mean holding off booking your next holiday because you're feeling the pinch?

I'm not having a go by the way, we are high earners I was just curious what you classed as struggling.

I agree. If you earn well, then it is possible to build in that 20%-30% buffer. It will mean a slightly smaller house/car, slightly fewer holidays etc., but if you earn well their isn't really an excuse for stretching your finances to the limit.

For low earners, they have no choice about this - every penny is needed for essentials.

A buffer of 20%?!? Really? 20% would surely be life changing/breaking for most. Sure when you’re getting your mortgage don’t even factor in that high an amount!!

I think people who complain about the COL right now cos the 2nd audi needs a new tyre are the sort who dont notice fuck all about anyone else anyway

We're talking about higher earners. If you're a higher earner then yes, it is sensible to build a buffer into your financial plans - because you can afford it.

From personal experience, DH and I have a highlight household income, and we definitely include a buffer in our budget.

We are conscious that circumstances can change, and we are fortunate enough to be able to afford life without stretching ourselves. So we don't live in a massive house or drive a flashy car, but if one of us lost our job we wouldn't be bankrupt.

^ high-ish, not highlight!

I do get a bit jealous of single people on quite a large wage that complain.

I have a boyfriend, He's on a 40k a year wage and makes 10k more than me a year. We live separately. His rent is £595 a month and that is his main outgoings. His car is paid off, no children etc. He still has standard bills but nothing extravagant.

He complains frequently that he is poor. That he doesn't have much expedible income. He will constantly monitor his money and criticize every purchase he makes. He was hesitant in paying his half (£150) for my 30th birthday night away -I am paying my own

I would like to see him live on 10k less with rent, childcare, general bringing up a child and trying to save but living pay check to paycheck. He's told me he saves £500 a month, but I could only dream of that

Not quite the same but talking of not knowing people's circumstances. I remember reading an article from a lady who used a food bank.

She'd had a very good lifestyle. Then her partner died suddenly and she either lost her job or had to give up work to look after her child who had additional needs. So she went from £1000s a month to benefits when her savings ran out.

She said she'd turn up at the food bank in what looked like a flash car but it had too many miles on it to sell. All her clothes were designer but were very old and all she had.

Apparently someone found out she lived in a very flash house in a nice area. She said that in reality it had been mid renovation for years but she couldn't afford to finish it and no one would buy it. She couldn't afford it but couldn't sell it cheap as her son had certain requirements.

Her expensive hair was due to her sister/cousin(?) needing a hair model for her qualification. I remember her crying that she hated it but had to do whatever they needed in that part of the course.

She said that outwardly she looked rich and like she was abusing the system and didn't need the food bank but in reality was only able to heat her son's room, was missing meals etc. She was heckled and bullied at the food bank. She said she only went because of her son and that she wouldn't have been able to put up with the abuse if it was just her food.