People on good wages saying they are struggling

[ChopSuey2]

Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed by people on good wages saying they are struggling?

I am not talking about people who have good wages but are paying off large debts or whose childcare leaves them broke, but people who say they can't afford to live on a certain amount but actually have a decent or even lots of money left after essentials. Equally, people whose essentials (food shopping and heating particularly) are ludicrously high (not including those with high costs related to disability).

I really feel like people need to read the room. People are genuinely struggling and saying you can't afford to live on a good wage is insensitive.

I'm not sure if it's relevant but I would consider myself to be on a good wage (not a higher tax payer and in London).

YABU - people can say they can't afford to live on a good wage because it's all relative
YANBU - people need to think about what being unable to afford things really means

Do you know the outgoings of the people you are judging here. Or are you assuming they have loads left over?

Costs of everything have skyrocketed people on solid wages ARE struggling and it's not as easy as MN would have you believe to sell up, move, downsize cars, change jobs etc.

I'd have empathy before playing the game of "who's worse off"

We have a household income of £50k. This morning British Gas told me we owe them over £1000. I've had the heating off all winter and the walls are damp.

Why shouldn't I moan?

1 - Do you ever really know what people have going on
2 - It might feel broke to them.

But then yes read the room. I complain about COL but I usually acknowledge I am still in a good position compared to some

With that kind of income I'm not sure she is talking about you.....

People in good wages tend to have bigger outgoings. Bigger cars bigger houses etc. They can also be struggling to fund their lifestyle

It’s all relative though isn’t it? People on good wages have still been impacted by the COL crisis. If anything I think it’s insensitive to suggest those on a ‘good wage’ aren’t also facing struggles… you never know what is happening behind closed doors

YABU. Everyone is getting robbed atm. Instead of infighting over pennies on the grand scheme of things, we need to all stick together and lambast the real culprits.

It’s all relative. If your mortgage is £2000 a month and you spend £1000+ a month commuting by train and £2000 a month on childcare, yes even on a good salary you’d struggle.

It’s all relative as PP have said. Anyone can suddenly find themselves struggling, it’s not a race to the bottom.

Another thing to consider is that those on lower incomes or not working may recieve UC and various other benefits that those on higher incomes cannot access. This means that there will be circumstances where both parents work full time and pay a lot in childcare/ commuting actually have less disposable income than a family with a lower income.

I think YAB a bit U. The COL rise is affecting everyone and people are finding it difficult to adjust across the board.
However, I do think it's a bit insensitive of people complaining that they can only afford one foreign holiday this year when others are having to choose between heating and eating.

I dunno. What's a "good" wage? If you mean a couple on £80k and £120k, YANBU, but many would consider a household income of £50k to £60k to be "good" because it's higher than one adult on min wage.

Best not to assume that you know anything about other people's finances I think.

And everyone is allowed a moan. If you previously ate out every night but have just remortgaged on a higher rate and can't afford to do that now because you're paying £££ to the bank in interest, then you're going to feel miserable and poorer.

There's always someone worse off, so not sure where the line is drawn at complaining. Lots of people have had to adjust to less disposable income, so feel short changed, but of course some are suffering much more than others.

But they chose those bigger houses and bigger cars and have scope to downsize.

People who live in smaller houses in cheaper areas don't have the same choice. That's the point. Just because people spend all their money on expensive versions of essentials it doesn't make them skint/struggling etc.

They do. But they still might have as much left at the end of the month as those on low incomes

Also circumstances change they may have been a le to afford it once but now can't.

The moral of this is noone knows anyone's real situation so noone should judge others choices or lifestyles

Someone earning ‘lots of money’ may not have much of a disposable income once mortgages, childcare, commuting costs etc come out of the pot. Also, they pay full whack for everything - council tax, prescriptions, etc and this soon mounts up.

Yes, they probably do live in a nicer area and may have a newer car, but they are still affected by pasta doubling in price etc.

Also, just googled take home pay and came up with this, so not that much difference between a £15000 salary difference.

“On a £50,000 salary, your take home pay will be £37,198 after tax and National Insurance. This equates to £3,100 per month and £715 per week.”

”If your salary is £35,000, then after tax and national insurance you will be left with £27,542. This means that after tax you will take home £2,295 every ...”

But they chose those bigger houses and bigger cars and have scope to downsize

Those aren’t things you can do overnight; it’s possible to struggle in the meantime. You can feel like you’re struggling while simultaneously recognising that others have it worse. That doesn’t mean someone isn’t struggling,

Not being able to fund a lavish lifestyle may be annoying and disappointing, but it's not "struggling".

The cost of living crisis has affected everyone, but the poorest suffer the most. We should focus our anger at those in government who let this crisis happen, and those profiteers in big oil who are making a mint off our backs.

I purposefully didn't give a number and said after essentials because of course things like housing, childcare and commuting costs are going to vary wildly.

I obviously don't know everyone's outgoings but some of the people I am thinking of are family and friends where we do talk about finances and they have told me how much they have after housing and bills and, with a straight face, have told me things are very tight or they can't afford to live on their income. I then tell them how much I have after housing and bills and how much I save each month and they genuinely can't comprehend how because they are so in their own world about what struggling looks like. Having actually struggled in the past and having people close to me who are really struggling now, I find it insensitive.

I don't know the personal financial details of anyone other than me and dh so couldn't comment on whether people are justified in saying they are struggling.

Our take home pay is around £4,500 to £5,000 per month (so "good wages") and we are not exactly struggling but our mortgage has gone up by £300 per month and will rise again our energy bills have gone up by £200 per month and we all know about the cost of food! I'd say our monthly expenditure is about £700 per month more than last year and only the really well off could take that sort of hit and not feel it.

So this means we probably won't have a holiday this year and we certainly only have the heating on about half the amount we used to.

Not struggling but feeling the pinch definitely!

I have a very good income. But my life has been built around that income. My outgoings used to easily be covered by my income, however all of the government support and also in my field of work the pay rises (up to 9%) are rightly, going to the lower income families so now I'm really feeling an impact that potentially they are not as they probably have lower outgoings and a bigger pay rise.

Personally, I got a pay rise of 1.4%. My mortgage is £2k a month and has gone up by 3%. My fuel bills have tripled. I already shop in Aldi, and don't go out or buy clothes. I last had my hair cut 6 months ago. I no longer have money to save for holidays. If anything goes wrong in my house it will have to go on a credit card. That's what people mean when they complain about being skint. I'm not absolutely brassica, but I no longer have the disposable income I had.

It's all relative OP. The poorest in society are struggling in ways that those who are more well-off aren't, of course, but almost every household is having to cut down in some way or another. Families and households who always had enough money to cover their outgoings are no longer able to afford what they could before so are starting to reduce their spending, cut things they don't need etc. Some may consider themselves struggling because for the first time in their lives they no longer have an income large enough to cover all of their bills. Some of those bills may be bills that those on lower incomes wouldn't have had in the first place, which is what makes it relative.

The definition of "struggling" is: striving to achieve or attain something in the face of difficulty or resistance.

They are struggling, but in a completely different way to those with lower incomes. "Wealthier" families are also exempt from the safety nets which have been put in to help those with the lowest incomes, leading to the squeezed middle. I do agree that in some ways it's tone deaf for a wealthy person to tell someone with less money that they're struggling, but I also think that friends should be able to speak with each other without judgement and that includes not being forbidden from speaking about the pressures and pinches they're feeling from the COL increase to friends that they feel they can be open with. Everyone has their own struggles.

I find your post a bit out of touch.

Generally those on middle incomes will probably feel the COL crisis more, their bills are proportionate to their income in the same way a lesser earner is. Middle income household gets 0 support from government whereas lower income household does.

Saying they have the scope to downsize due to a change in circumstances is like asking a parent to stick their kids up for adoption to reduce their outgoings.