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AIBU?

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Original poster

On holiday and Annoyed!

348 replies

Mummy322 · 14/02/2023 15:04

First day of holiday today and had an altercation with another guest. I have never had an argument with a stranger before so feeling a little deflated and upset. DH as usual totally dismissed my feelings and told me to just” get over it”. This other guest kept looking over our table disgusted a few times. First I thought my child was being noisy (toddler) so I told him to be quiet which he did, second time he was sucking a slice of lemon which I think is fine as he likes it and she was shouting something in another language with her family and screwing her nose and mouth at my toddler.

I was sitting opposite her on table behind so she was directly in my eyeline. Husband was sitting on the right opposite my son so no one on the seat directly infront of me so I could see her every reaction. I avoided looking at her at this point and just kept interacting with my son. Once we got up to move she was being very obvious by pointing and shouting and her whole family (3 kids and husband) were turning around looking at our table. My DH pretended he didn’t notice this and proceeded walking outside with our son I stayed back to pack his beaker etc. I then asked her if everything okay and if we did something to upset her she started yelling in English now saying it’s bad for the environment to waste food. My son and myself had eaten our food but husband had some left in his plate which she wouldn’t have seen till he got up to leave. I told her it’s not her business and she said I was destroying the planet and should be ashamed! I wish I had asked her what’s worse for the planet having 3 kids or wasting food but I obviously didn’t say it’s not nice. I was really upset and embarrassed as other guests were looking my way.

What would you have done? We have to spend next 6 days here. I’m really annoyed at this woman. It’s a small resort and we can’t go out so I will be bumping into her at every meal time. Only one restaurant here too.

OP posts:
PurpleFlower1983 · 15/02/2023 08:07

I would have questioned her too. I hope you enjoy your holiday OP. Crazy people like this exist everywhere, try to ignore.

jeaux90 · 15/02/2023 08:19

When she said "it's bad for the environment" I would have said "you should meet my Hummer" and walked off.

Mrssu · 15/02/2023 08:22

Record on your phone if she starts shouting then you can translate it.

tinatea · 15/02/2023 08:24

I personally wouldn't spend anymore time thinking about this witch. She's clearly unhinged!

ThinWomansBrain · 15/02/2023 08:27

so on top of having three children, had all five of them flown there to be on holiday?

DorritLittle · 15/02/2023 08:27

Nuevabegin · 14/02/2023 15:37

Are they French ? Haha, sorry , I have spent loads of time there as family live there and I have never been anywhere like it for staring and comments etc especially since having kids . My dcs are very well behaved but no , they are not completely silent and still at the table (very well behaved though , love food , we eat as a family all the time , no screens , they sit there for the duration ) but anything that isn’t complete silence and stillness re children is unacceptable and warrants staring . My dh is from there and stares back really intently 😂 and often asks in French if they are ok or if they want a picture 😂
We have travelled loads pre kids , with kids and still number 1 for the comments and staring goes to France for us .
Tbh op the woman sounds unhinged , her poor children , imagine how embarrassing that was for them . Just ignore or give a bit back but don’t let it get to you. She is obviously unwell or very unhappy to try and bring others down around her .

I wondered if they were French too.

ittakes2 · 15/02/2023 08:31

Did you do that thing where hotel guests take food from the buffet and leave it on the middle of the table to make it look like a dinner party? ie people often do this with fruit, bread and pastries, dessert sometimes...i. I would never say this to anyone but it annoys the hell out of me as wasted food as obviously it can't be put back for others. Did you do this by any chance? Because it doesn't make sense she is saying you have wasted food if only your husband had left food.

Screwcorona · 15/02/2023 08:45

Sounds like she was very much in the wrong here. Being completely rude.
Seat yourself so you can't see her and ignore. She should be embarressed

Scotty12 · 15/02/2023 08:46

She sounds bonkers. Ignore her. Please don’t let her spoil your holiday.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 15/02/2023 08:52

Or just tell her to fuck off.

CrescentMoons · 15/02/2023 08:52

Dont give it another thought. Keep away.

Tigertigertigertiger · 15/02/2023 08:57

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Previously banned poster.

Thank you for being the voice of reason.
I am shocked at the assumption this is racism

abs12 · 15/02/2023 08:57

Whatever happens.... Do not, I repeat, do not let some bonkers stranger ruin your holiday. Do not give her that power. She is nothing to you and you will only resent yourself. If she does it again, start laughing at her, bringing the power back to you and then yeah, offer her your leftovers. Now go have the best fucking holiday ever xxx

Teateaandmoretea · 15/02/2023 09:04

I am shocked at the assumption this is racism

There is a 95% chance it is. POC experience far more unpleasant rudeness than white people. It isn’t always coincidence. I have noticed it even at the wokey organisation I work at, over many years.

But the racists get away with it because it’s impossible to prove the link as they make sure it is covert.

Teateaandmoretea · 15/02/2023 09:05

Nutcases, freaks and weirdos exist.

Yep and do do racists. Some of them are also the above.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 15/02/2023 09:10

You sound like a maniacal stalker. Be thankful she hasn't reported you to the police.

Chias · 15/02/2023 09:11

ClimbingRoseBush · 14/02/2023 15:23

She’s either racist or unstable. Ask to be sat well away from her when you go into the restaurant and if she speaks to you again complain to management.

I agree with this. I hope you can enjoy the rest of your holiday.

SillySausage81 · 15/02/2023 09:13

Tigertigertigertiger · 15/02/2023 08:57

Thank you for being the voice of reason.
I am shocked at the assumption this is racism

Show quote history

Well, it might not be racism, but it is such a weird thing to happen that the only two explanations that make sense with the information we have are: 1. the woman is a total nutcase, and 2. racism. And given that there are some countries where blatant overt racism is far more normalised than here, the second option seems more likely.

Choconut · 15/02/2023 09:19

Tigertigertigertiger · 15/02/2023 08:57

Thank you for being the voice of reason.
I am shocked at the assumption this is racism

Show quote history

Really, I'm amazed that you wouldn't think it was racism. The woman was ranting at the one black family that was there, over nothing. Was she checking other peoples plates? Did she have problems with other people's children? No, just with the black family.
I'm definitely not one to see everything as 'must be racism' but neither extreme is helpful IMO. To suggest it's a huge leap to suspect racism when one family is targeted and they just happen to be the black family is at the other extreme IMO.

CantMakeHeadNorTail · 15/02/2023 09:23

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

NathanielSitsOnASpike · 15/02/2023 09:25

If the woman was pointing and making faces at your toddler throughout the meal, then I would assume that's what was annoying her - nothing to do with what your DH left on his plate at the end.

Was your toddler playing with his food, dropping it, spitting it out, squashing it in his hands, etc? Did food get dropped/spoiled and therefore thrown away?

All of that would be TOTALLY normal behaviour for toddlers, obviously, and she sounds both crazy and rude. But maybe she's a massive control freak with her own family's table manners and doesn't like to see someone else being a 'bad influence' (ie normal)!

purplehair1 · 15/02/2023 09:26

Puzzled by her behaviour- it sounds like she was already taking issue with you before she realised your husband had left food. She does sound a bit bonkers. Please don’t let it ruin your holiday. Complain to the management - maybe make sure you are not seated on adjacent tables again.

kirinm · 15/02/2023 09:29

Oh look, here come the racist apologists.

I think you dealt with it very well OP but I do agree with your husband. Don't let it ruin your holiday.

MarkWithaC · 15/02/2023 09:39

I think she's just a loon. Your DH should have laughed along with you and backed you up rather than dismissing you.
If it happens again I'd speak to management; not 'complain' as such, but say with concern that this woman was behaving rather oddly and disturbing your family when you were eating and you wondered if they'd noticed.

SolitaryRedFox · 15/02/2023 09:41

Definitely either racist or unhinged (or probably both). The problem is hers. I would actively avoid her. If she continues to harass you in this manner I would report to the management and note concerns there is a racial element to her abuse which is obviously completely unacceptable.

I would not engage with her at all - look through her as though she doesn't exist.

I am so sorry you have to deal with this.

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