That breastfeeding is detrimental to maternal mental health?

[Chiikichik]

Before I start - I EBF both my children for the first 6 months of my life. Both took to it really well, but second time around the sheer relentless of it made me feel suicidal. Moving them on to the bottle was the best thing for us at the time.

There is always slot of discussion around how women are effected when they can’t establish BF through lack of support etc but not really for those of us who do establish but just don’t really enjoy it? Or just can’t cope with the absolutely bloody relentlessness of it?

Breastfed babies are easier to get out of the house with and getting out of the house is arguably very good indeed for anyone's mental health, particularly new mothers who might be feeling isolated... @MrsMullerBecameABaby

This is by no means universal. I did not find it easier to get out of the house when EBF vs when I formula fed.
The stress of where I was when baby was hungry and how appropriate/ accommodating the location was to feed was a lot more than the stress of throwing a sterilised bottle and a premade formula in the nappy bag.

A slightly different perspective but yes I find bf relentless and constantly feel touched out.

My baby is a toddler though and although I’ve wanted to wean her for months now she doesn’t seem to have got the message.

I find it really hard to lose weight as I’m hungry all the time and my sleep is wrecked as she can’t get to sleep without the boob and never sleeps for more than a hour without a boob in her mouth.
I also find her trying to yank up my top in public really embarrassing (I know I should be able to bf anywhere but people judge you when you are still feeding a toddler, I know they do).

The books all tell you not to force the issue, don’t offer / don’t refuse and that toddlers will naturally lose interest which I think is complete bull as none of my three children have given up without a huge struggle and quite a lot of stress.

Well, personally I am going to say no, probably the oppsite. I breastfed my first until nearly 2.5, only stopped recently as I'm pregnant with my second and dd stopped herself, presumably milk died up. It wasn't at all easy, she had a terrible latch the whole time who h hurt, I had a massive, painful oversupply which gave dd wind and made her sick a lot initially. But I persevered because to me it was worth it and made me happy to be able to feed and comfort her like that for as long as possible. If she wants to restart when the baby is born I will be happy with that too.

I bf'ed for two years, but the whole time I struggled a lot with it on many different levels, even though I would probably do it again for as long as I was able if I had to go through it again (would prob stop sooner). I do believe it gave my DD a good chance for a healthy start in life but it did come at a cost to my own mental health.

I don’t understand this idea that you should “enjoy” breastfeeding, do people “enjoy” bottle feeding? “Enjoy” night feeds or changing nappies???? It’s just something you do and there’s no arguing around it it’s better for the baby and also better for mum, physically at least. I think if we stop trying to pitch breastfeeding as this magical glorious saintly thing then people wouldn’t feel like such failures when they struggle and find it hard!

My story is very similar to yours. My abscess had to be excised under GA when DD was about 10 weeks.
I hated breastfeeding and didn't even try with my second.

I think what's most detrimental is the judgement and the idea that if you don't keep going you are failing - that and the total lack of BF support

I gave up after a week each time because I didn't like it - it hurt, I never got a beak and I was exhausted - never felt one ounce of guilt because no one guilted me! (No one that mattered anyway - online stuff never bothers me) other friends BF for 2+ years - that was worker for them

If we just accepted that you need to do what works for you as a mum all of our mental health would be better

I'm honestly not sure. I think the official line is no and that breastfeeding mums actually get more sleep and yet anecdotally and from reading various parenting forums it does seem like bottlefed babies tend to sleep more or at least start to sleep through younger.

The conspiracy theorist part of me wonders if it's hushed up to promote breastfeeding or maybe it was more true of the formulas used a generation or two ago.

Statistically you’re more likely to develop a post natal mental health condition if you don’t breastfeed.

I breastfeed my son, he's 8 months old and still feeds 2-3 times a night. I would say i find breastfeeding empowering. It makes me feel really connected to my son and whilst his reliance on me can at times be exhausting, I wouldn't change it. I'm a stay at home mum and will be for the foreseeable future and I'm 35 so maybe both or either those means I'm less stressed about life? A bad nights sleep is just one of those things, the washing can wait til tomorrow. I also have a husband who helps out with housework and on the whole is very supportive. Sure there's some days i feel whacked but it's definitely not a breast feeding thing. It's just s being responsible for an infant who is into everything all the time and awake more. I have nothing against formula feeding - in some ways it probably helps a partner or relative feel more connected too - but the bond i have when breastfeeding surprised me and I enjoy it. My sisters baby had tongue tue and struggled to latch for weeks, she had to use formula but switched back to breast and still feeds occasionally at 2. She enjoys it too. I guess everyone is different. I'm sorry it was hard for you. :(

I enjoyed giving my baby bottles, don’t most people? It’s so nice and snuggly (and I assume breastfeeding is too if you’re not in loads of pain and discomfort!)

I would say the opposite, you get an increase in hormones when breastfeeding and rates of pnd are lower in breastfeeding mums. It's personal preference but it's certainly not detrimental plus has benefits for your baby, not to mention it's free

Of course it’s not detrimental to mental health, but for some of us it’s much easier and makes for a happier time not to.

I breastfed for 6 weeks the first time and 3 weeks with second baby. Just to get the colostrum and a bit of that early bonding. I didn’t enjoy it, it felt so relentless and it was a relief when I switched to bottles and DH took half the night feeds. I really disliked the physical dependence on me - that probably sounds really in maternal! But I just didn’t like being the only person who could feed our baby and I knew I couldn’t hack it longer teen.

I also never found formula a faff, but it was expensive (we used the pre mix cartons for ease).

Im way past that stage now, but if I had another baby I’d probably do the same. A few weeks at the start, when they are properly tiny, and then straight in to formula. Nothing was better than a long stretch of sleep while DH fed! .

So that’s your experience. Everyone’s is different the idea of making bottles instead of just throwing them on a breast was my idea of hell. I do think this feed on demand is probably what makes bf so awful for lots of mums (ok the pain, mastitis, etc etc aren’t great either). Not a popular view but I think you feed on demand for a few weeks then the baby will thrive on a routine with spaced out feeds decided by you. Otherwise you end in a never ending cycle of believing baby is hungry and needing fed. I bf all 3 of mine till 15 months when I got fed up. I didn’t love it but I preferred it to making and cleaning bottles and I believe it’s good for them.

i was told breast is best throughout my pregnancy and I wanted to breastfeed having breastfed my first for 12 months having a fairly straightforward time with it. This time round for various reasons me and baby really struggled, we received no support just immediately told to use formula. I was shocked at how after all the encouragement to breastfeed during pregnancy there was none to support me. I sought my own support in the end and 5 months on I'm still exclusively breastfeeding and I'm happy to be.

I think OP your question if it's detrimental to mental health yes like lots of things it certainly can be. It's a personal choice and I think women should receive support however they choose to feed their babies. Fed is best, supported is best.

Yes.

It might be detrimental to someone's mental health but a sweeping statement. No.

I am still bf at almost four years. At times it's been one thing that's kept me going when my mental health has plummeted.

I agree. I'm no conspiracy theorist either but every single breastfeeding mother I have spoken to has struggled with lack of sleep to varying degrees.

I truly believe a thorough list of pros and cons of ALL feeding options should be given to pregnant mothers to let them make a decision that suits them and their family, instead of having one pushed on them and then having subsequent struggles with their mental health. And practical support should be given for mothers regardless of their feeding choices.

I was gutsy enough to stand up for myself when being lectured by midwives when in LABOUR about my feeding choices, but lots aren't and would just cave in.

When growing up (not in the UK), I never saw any new mother not breastfeeding. Everyone breastfed. It was the norm and no-one seemed depressed or suffering with poor mental health or lack of support. There were lots of babies in my parents' family and friendship circle.
I'd been bottle fed as had a medical issue at birth, and it had been a real cause for concern among health visitors and family. It was a big surprise to me that bottle feeding is such a big thing in Britain. I've often wondered since why it seems so different.
I breastfed DC 1 and 2 until they were 2 and 3 respectively. Of course there was some broken sleep, but we coslept (gorgeous) so it was minimal, and the many benefits 100% outweighed this.

YABU for assuming a universal experience and for attributing the cause to breastfeeding instead of to the ridiculous expectations and scrutiny placed on new families and especially mothers.

I think absolutist statements are detrimental to maternal mental health.

Hear, hear.

Every mother, every baby and every situation is different. There is evidence, data, and statistics, of course, but none of that really changes the fact that these choices depend on the individual situation.

I had bad pnd with all 3 of my dc and was hospitalised with dc1. I breastfed all of them to 12 months, 15 months and 2 years. It was the one thing I knew I was getting right and helped me recover from depression.

Breastfeeding was I would say essential to my MH with dc1 and very important with 2&3.

The stigma around choosing directly not to breastfeed needs eliminating.

The stigma of how a mum chooses to feed regardless needs eliminating. Mothers are stigmatised either way.

It wasn't for me. In fact it was very beneficial for my MH. I don't think this is an issue where it's good to generalise.

Agree. It gave me something to focus on after poor and traumatic treatment with the birth of my first.

I feel more touched out now than when I was nursing and mine are 5 and 8.

Breastmilk is more quickly and easily digested in the gut, so yes, breastfeeding babies are likely when newborn to want to feed more frequently. (Some do, but this also depends on other factors, too).

Formula tends to form a 'curd', which sits in the stomach for longer. It takes longer to pass through the gut.

I can't right now find a reference for comparison of transit times through the gut; here's one on basic differences in constituents of formulas compared to breastmilk:

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4882692/

Ah, here we go:

www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0958694620302521

'Infant feeding studies show that the rate of gastric digestion and stomach clearance is related to curd the hardness of gastric curds formed (Doan, 1938). A gastric emptying study in preterm infants showed gastric emptying rate of 30 mL portions of human milk was considerably fast than of 30 mL portions of infant formula, with an average of with 24.8 mL of human milk having been emptied after one hour (Cavell, 1979). This may be related to the fact that human milk forms softer clots in the stomach than infant formula'

I enjoyed it. It came quite easily. It was an excuse to lay around and cuddle without feeling pressured to do more. Nights it meant I didn’t have to leave my cold bed. It was a generally wonderful bond into toddlerhood.

I have no urge to force it on others or say everyone should… but I reckon there must be loads like me

I don't think it's breastfeeding as such. I think it's just the way western cultures live now. We have no real practical support, there's no village. There's nobody holding the baby while we nap, making food while we feed the baby, nobody helping clean, etc, etc. I think if we lived like that still then it may be different. Formula wouldnt make a difference to how soul destroying lonely my life is ATM (cheery I know lol)