To ask what it is about adulthood that didn’t meet your childhood expectations (lighthearted)

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

For me, from various sources such as parental threats, what I was taught in school and those scary public safety message videos, I did not expect:

• How difficult it ACTUALLY is to ‘have someone’s eye out’. You’d have thought doing something like running too fast would result in this but I’ve never met a person who only has one eye due to being whipped with a towel by their sibling
• Never once needed to recall Pythagoras theorem
• The distinct lack of stim king acirss quicksand and lack of opportunity to retrieve frisbees from pylons
• Not being smacked as a child has not resulted in me being a spoilt brat with no coping skills, as my mum was promised I’d be!

that actually can happen, my father has seen it twice rolling through the house top to bottom, luckily exiting through front door.

I've eaten a lot of carrots in my life and I still cannot see in the dark. Raging.

That eating crusts from bread would make my hair curl.
Only half correct as my hair is a wavy mess, not curly 😬

Same here. I've now got cataracts. Grrr🙄

I am happy to report that eating fresh, warm bread from the over does not get you pregnant

I always refused to eat crusts because I was terrified of having curly hair.

I also have never received 'shit wi sugar on' for my tea 😂😂😂

I never ate crusts because I didn't want curly hair ... my hair was straight but then at 14 my hair went ultimate afro curly (same as the rest of my family) - I really should have eaten those crusts [strangely, I still don't eat crusts].

I don't have square eyes from watching TV even though twice a week I will watch TV all night long.

I never got piles from sitting on a kerbside on the street, either.

I have never taken anyone's eye out 'not even with a cricket ball, the bat did break my mates nose; however, I was never warned about that, LOL'.

Blackpool illuminations is hilarious -- there is just no comparison to leaving the lights on; however, rule in my house is not to leave the lights on [OCD?!]

Oh Yes, AND 'my face would stay like that if the wind changes' Never did, never has.

Walking under ladder is 'bad luck' ... never walked under a ladder but had plenty of bad luck!!?? LOL hilarious.

I don't know anyone who got pregnant by sitting on a damp mattress,

My mother insisted that your eyes change colour if you tell lies.....I'm still terrified of accidentally not telling the whole truth!

Marriage. Biggest fucking anticlimax known to mankind.

We may not 'just as well burn £5 notes to keep warm' than put the fire on. The latter is much more cost effective.
It isn't necessary to 'work night and day' to pay the bill arising from a 20 minute phone call to ones friend (and is actually prohibited by working time regs.)
Despite wearing an ankle bracelet and having red toe nails, no one has offered to pay me for sex.

@Brokendaughter - there was an insistence on clean pants with my DGM "just in case you are run over by a bus". I always wore clean pants anyway. Ive never been run over by a bus and I imagine if I was clean pants would be the least of my problems. But it's a sweet memory.

I had the Blackpool illuminations thing as well!

I imagined being able to eat what I liked when I liked as an adult but I didn't equate this with having the skill and the interest to cook it.

I've yet to discover the proverbial 'they' who are oft quoted but never unmasked. They say & we listen! ...along with siblings 'apparently' & 'did you know'!

I have never, not once, found myself in the sea wearing pyjamas and had to inflate the jacket to make a float. Shame really because I was quite good at it.

If that's how the disgruntled deity chooses to manifest to express their displeasure, then we have to bow to their feathery whims.

Yes 😂😂😂😂😂

😄quite right

No happy endings.
No love.
Not enough ££ despite doing the 'right' things eg uni/career.
Not being the parent I wanted to be.
Hardly seeing anything of the word.