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Original poster

Valentines

138 replies

Aquarius1234 · 13/02/2023 23:32

To not understand this day?
Why do all the men rush into supermarket s buying cards and flowers. But most of look like they are miserable as hell..
Yes I'm single but I don't really get why Valentines day exists?

OP posts:
Watercoloursky · 14/02/2023 12:11

Justcallmebebes · 14/02/2023 11:32

I have a very young new work experience colleague and she's enlightened me yesterday about Galentines Day which is apparently when you send a token of appreciation to your girl mates. Apparently in her Uni, Galentines is bigger than Valentines. Who knew?

That was a thing when I was at uni too! (Over 10 years ago, now - eek) It's cute, but now I'm older and more cynical I can't help but feel it's a canny move by marketing bods to make sure that single people spend lots of cash on the 14th as well as the coupled-up...

ItsCalledAConversation · 14/02/2023 12:12

Miseryguts.

Let other people enjoy it - if you don’t want to, that’s fine. No need to bitch about others enjoying the day.

IncompleteSenten · 14/02/2023 12:13

It baffled me for years tbh. Scheduled mass romance has never seemed terribly romantic to me. I was a bit of a wanker about it if I'm being honest.

As I've got older (and read more threads on here 😁) I began to understand that it doesn't actually matter if I 'get it' or not. All I need to understand is that there are a lot of people who value it and that makes it important for them. Like people who like to have birthday fuss or people who like to celebrate anniversaries. Or mass celebratory events like Eid, Easter, Diwali, Christmas, etc.

And I realised I wasn't coming out on top by bring a supercilious twat about it. Like not giving a shit somehow made me superior.

Now I believe that if an event or a date or something matters to you, it matters and the people who love you should care enough about how you feel to want to celebrate with you.

And I celebrate half price chocolate day so everyone's happy. 😁

madeyemoody · 14/02/2023 12:14

My wife and I woke up to dog shit all over the living room floor (new laminate just paid for itself) ended up shouting at each other over the stench and shit everywhere. Got it cleaned. Then fell about laughing as she whispered happy Valentine's Day in my ear.

That's all I need Grin

maddy68 · 14/02/2023 12:15

We don't bother with it at all. Be nice to me everyday ;)

deflatedbirthday · 14/02/2023 12:24

We've never really bothered with Valentine's Day but this is our first married one. We've had a pretty crap time recently will bereavement and illness DH has booked table at a restaurant I haven't been to in a long time and the thoughtfulness was lovely. Yes yes he can do that any day of the year but it was a good excuse/ opportunity which I'm grateful for.

Lighten up OP. There are worse things in this world.

justasking111 · 14/02/2023 12:29

Suzi888 · 14/02/2023 10:58

Lovely! 💐💕Congratulations.

Show quote history

Thank you 😊

When you've been married as long as we have. There's lots of memories of bygone valentine's days. Mussing up the sheets, massages in front of a fire.

Nowadays.... We've held hands at hospital appointments, cared for each other after operations. We've weathered a lot.

To light some candles enjoy a nice meal, exchange cards isn't trite to us.

No-one knows how many more we shall have together. So we enjoy every one

Aposterhasnoname · 14/02/2023 12:31

Well I got a dozen red roses and a lovely card, and tonight we’ll be dressing up and going for Valentine tasting menu and a glass of champagne at a local bistro. We’ll have a lovely evening. Then tomorrow we can go back to coming home from work, cooking dinner, doing the ironing, cleaning up, watching crap on tv then bed. If you think that’s stupid, fine, you do you. Personally I’m loving the mid week change of routine.

DingDongDenny · 14/02/2023 12:32

We are going out for dinner tonight, we've been together for over 30 years. There are 2 reasons for this

  1. Any excuse for me, I love going out for dinner and it saves cooking
  2. It's the best night for people watching
woodsandwaves · 14/02/2023 12:36

IncompleteSenten · 14/02/2023 12:13

It baffled me for years tbh. Scheduled mass romance has never seemed terribly romantic to me. I was a bit of a wanker about it if I'm being honest.

As I've got older (and read more threads on here 😁) I began to understand that it doesn't actually matter if I 'get it' or not. All I need to understand is that there are a lot of people who value it and that makes it important for them. Like people who like to have birthday fuss or people who like to celebrate anniversaries. Or mass celebratory events like Eid, Easter, Diwali, Christmas, etc.

And I realised I wasn't coming out on top by bring a supercilious twat about it. Like not giving a shit somehow made me superior.

Now I believe that if an event or a date or something matters to you, it matters and the people who love you should care enough about how you feel to want to celebrate with you.

And I celebrate half price chocolate day so everyone's happy. 😁

Completely agree with this. My DH and I are nice to each other all year round but we still celebrate Valentine's Day. I like "special" days and celebrate nearly all of them. During lockdown we had all sorts of celebrations- even Cinco De Mayo and we're not Mexican - it was just fun and it was good to learn about!

Made my kids a heart themed breakfast this morning, decorated the table with little hearts I cut out from paper and put some love hearts in everyone's lunch boxes. Will do a nice meal later and DH will probably bring me flowers home (he'll have stopped off somewhere in his work van in dirty work clothes to buy them so apparently some people will be horrified). If you don't want to celebrate no-one is forcing you to, but lots of people like these special days and I can't really understand why it bothers people?!

jays · 14/02/2023 12:39

IncompleteSenten · 14/02/2023 12:13

It baffled me for years tbh. Scheduled mass romance has never seemed terribly romantic to me. I was a bit of a wanker about it if I'm being honest.

As I've got older (and read more threads on here 😁) I began to understand that it doesn't actually matter if I 'get it' or not. All I need to understand is that there are a lot of people who value it and that makes it important for them. Like people who like to have birthday fuss or people who like to celebrate anniversaries. Or mass celebratory events like Eid, Easter, Diwali, Christmas, etc.

And I realised I wasn't coming out on top by bring a supercilious twat about it. Like not giving a shit somehow made me superior.

Now I believe that if an event or a date or something matters to you, it matters and the people who love you should care enough about how you feel to want to celebrate with you.

And I celebrate half price chocolate day so everyone's happy. 😁

I love this post. Sums it up perfectly for me.

Fairislefandango · 14/02/2023 12:59

Great post, @IncompleteSenten !

autumn1610 · 14/02/2023 13:08

It’s not something we celebrate 10 years together. I can’t bear the limp looking shite red roses (I hate red roses) that are stacked in the supermarket then this evening or the morning they will be reduced. I’m a valentines grinch

TheyHadGrace · 14/02/2023 13:31

Yes it’s commercialised and a bit of nonsense, but its not offensive, is it? Celebrating love …I mean it’s quite nice if you’re in a couple and you can just ignore it if not, surely?

Its evolved for me. When I was a teen it was fun sending/receiving anonymous cards.
When I was single it didn’t even register. I never felt sorry for myself, just didn’t celebrate it.
When me and DH first got together he used to really spoil me with fancy restaurants and weekends away and it was very romantic.

Married 20-odd years now and we don’t make a big deal of it and both say it’s a load of shite…but this morning we still both produced a bunch of flowers and card for each other like soppy dopes and had both had the same idea to make the other one breakfast in bed. We made it together instead Grin.

QuizzlyBears · 14/02/2023 13:44

justasking111 · 14/02/2023 12:29

Thank you 😊

When you've been married as long as we have. There's lots of memories of bygone valentine's days. Mussing up the sheets, massages in front of a fire.

Nowadays.... We've held hands at hospital appointments, cared for each other after operations. We've weathered a lot.

To light some candles enjoy a nice meal, exchange cards isn't trite to us.

No-one knows how many more we shall have together. So we enjoy every one

Show quote history

This is truly lovely. I hope you have a wonderful day together ❤️

Valentine’s Day is a sweet little holiday, if you want to celebrate it then do - and we do! - and if you don’t, then crack on about your day and don’t waste energy on being bothered about what other people are doing. We’ve been married for 18 months after truly horrific divorces and I’ll take any opportunity to celebrate what I am so lucky to have had a second chance at. That being said, I’ve always celebrated Valentine’s somehow - yes, you can love someone consistently and show them every day, but a day to intentionally take the time to slow down and highlight it is lovely when we’re all so busy in our whirlwind lives.

We had fresh pastries for breakfast and exchanged cards, we’re going to dinner at the place we had our first date. I’ve sent Valentine’s and Galentine’s wishes to people I care about and have received messages back and from others. It’s a silly, sweet day and there’s nothing wrong with not being on board with that but goodness me it doesn’t make you superior to anyone else by proclaiming how much you hate it.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 14/02/2023 13:48

God, you sound fun🙄It's one day - take part, don't take part, it's up to you. But if other people want to enjoy it, let them.

We exchanged cards and will be having an M&S meal tonight and watching the football (we're both fans btw). No big fanfare but doing something nice for the both of us.

MoggyMittens23 · 14/02/2023 13:48

maddy68 · 14/02/2023 12:15

We don't bother with it at all. Be nice to me everyday ;)

Oh shit... we've been doing it wrong then. We are really horrible to each other all year round and then nice only on Valentine's Day.

snugasbuginarug · 14/02/2023 13:55

I always get flowers and chocs even though I tell dh he shouldn't be getting any as they'll be overpriced on the day. I think it's hard to forget because they are literally all over the shops and men feel somewhat pressured to go with it!

Anyway, of course it makes me happy to receive them and I'm genuinely surprised each time, not taking anything for granted.

As most holidays kids make it extra special. We made cards and biscuits and it has been a fun morning.

xogossipgirlxo · 14/02/2023 13:56

MoggyMittens23 · 14/02/2023 13:48

Oh shit... we've been doing it wrong then. We are really horrible to each other all year round and then nice only on Valentine's Day.

Show quote history

😂

Peckhaminn · 14/02/2023 14:04

Me and OH used to celebrate but after 5 years we now buy a steak from Aldi sit at home with a bottle of wine and eat dinner. Pretty simple and cheap.

ReformedWaywardTeen · 14/02/2023 14:06

DH only does valentine's cos our DS moans at him if he doesn't. Personally I'm not bothered either way.

Anonymous48 · 14/02/2023 14:21

Aquarius1234 · 14/02/2023 10:47

I think of 14th Feb the same as 31st December. Your not necessarily going to have a good time.
Surely it depends on your mood, plans, work, life in general, current relationship status etc etc.

Well of course it depends on those things. My husband and I have a great relationship, life in general is pretty good, as is my mood. My husband and I celebrate lots of occasions together and show each other that we love and appreciate each other every day of the year. Bu we also celebrate Valentine's Day, and yes we have a good time. Sorry that's not the case for you, but it doesn't make it stupid.

PartridgeInAChair · 14/02/2023 14:22

Peckhaminn · 14/02/2023 14:04

Me and OH used to celebrate but after 5 years we now buy a steak from Aldi sit at home with a bottle of wine and eat dinner. Pretty simple and cheap.

That's what we are doing but when I was in there I did pick up a little box of quite posh chocolates (for Aldi).

USPollWorker · 14/02/2023 14:22

Aquarius1234 · 14/02/2023 10:52

Even those with great lives relationships etc.
Might get given a card and flowers that they dislike. Rubbish card no thought etc.
Some crappy cheesy cards and chocolates around.

Then they really don't have such a good relationship, do they?

I really don't know what your point is.

ShillyShallySherbet · 14/02/2023 14:24

Behind all the men doing this are women expecting it!

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