To really hate unexpected house visits. Is it just me?

[Silverbook]

What the title says really. I absolutely hate it when people “just pop in” I honestly hate it. It’s not that I don’t want to see people, I’m generally very sociable and often invite people round/get invited. I just really don’t like people dropping in unannounced as it generally interrupts my plans (even if my plan was doing nothing 🙈).

I mentioned it to my friend and she thought I was being utterly weird. Is it just me?

Is it a generational thing?

I often think back to my childhood and remember this happening and thinking it was a common occurrence and no one really batted an eye lid.

Nowadays I’d always plan ahead to avoid a wasted journey and I can’t say we get a lot of unexpected visitors apart from close family.

I’m always puzzled that cleaning comes up so often as a reason for not wanting unexpected callers, also bralessness.

I mean, I can absolutely see reasons why it’s not convenient if you’re busy — but when are these callers showing up? After work at night? Or are people (presumably themselves SAHPs or retired if at leisure) dropping in on SAHPs during the day? Or at weekends? I just don’t get when it’s happening. Maybe because in our home there’s unlikely to be anyone at home between 8 am and 6 pm or later, and we’re often out again after dinner, and away at weekends? Anyone dropping by would be unlikely to find anyone there.

I’m not keen mainly because the house is usually always a mess unless I am expecting visitors.

Whenever, I tidy up no one ever visits. But when the house is particularly messy and disorganised and I am also either just about to go in the shower, am on the loo, just about to go to the loo, bra less and or in my PJ’s.

No you’re not alone, I hate it too, and so does most of MN!

If anyone turns up at mine unexpectedly it means they are interrupting what I'm doing I'm never doing nothing so it depends what mood I am in and who they are as to whether I carry on with what I was doing or stop . So I might mind I might not 🤷‍♀️

I HATE it! Even from DH's family. Its rude and entitled to think that people can drop what they are doing to suddenly entertain you!

We are renovating, so gates open for trades to get work done. MIL randomly 'pops in' for a cup of tea and a tour! She has previously brought along her friends we don't even know to also have a tour! Absolute last straw and we've had words. 😡

It's awful, so rude and entitled. My house is always messy too and I feel mortified if people pop by unannounced

I hate it. I would never do it to anybody. Fortunately most of my friends now know not to do this.

I wouldn’t mind my absolute nearest & dearest but some chap kept knocking at the door on Friday and I just didn’t answer it. It felt quite intrusive. Why should my day stop for someone else I don’t know?

Doesn't bother me at all. If I'm busy I'll tell them to come back another time. I don't wear a bra in my home and I'm not putting one one for unexpected guests thats their problem not mine, same if my house is not as tidy as they would like it.

Why should my day stop for someone else I don’t know?

I guess you'll never find out because you didn't answer the door🤷‍♀️

Yep & life goes on

Love visitors any time. And they're welcome to stay always open house here

I don't do arranged visitors never mind unannounced

@CC4712 not surprised you had words with her ! That's so rude !

100% with you. I think it's just manners to ask first. You have no idea what people are doing and if they want to do nothing and not have you there then that's ok too!

I hate it too. The other day I was doing some work on my laptop in the kitchen, wearing mismatched clothes and a scarf as it was cold, listening to some 70s disco music, eating crap from its plastic packaging, and noticed a dark shape from the corner of my eye. It was one of my neighbours at my back door waving at me. Why she didn't knock the front door I don't know. It's just really rude!

Hate it. My mil often does or did. She got into the habit of 6pm when we were having tea then settling the children. One night i took them upstairs to take them to bed and she still didnt get the hint. They try and joke about bookinga appointment and i just say yes give me a day i will give you a time. So i can madly clean and chuck on some make up

It's not just you.
This thread has been done over and over on MN.
On MN, there are loads of people who agree with you (as shown by the vote).

I don't know how much of it is geographical, how much of it might be an age group thing, or something else, but people I know are generally (not all, for sure, but certainly the majority) pleased to see people knocking unexpectedly. Equally, when people do call on the off chance, everyone I know is then completely aware it might not be convenient and they wouldn't then impose, as opposed to the tales you see on these threads where posters report stories of people being offended if not invited in.

I agree with other posters about it being the height rudeness.

One of my in laws thought it was okay to just turn up out of the blue whenever they felt like it, in the middle of the day, knowing I work from home and have regular meetings with colleagues and clients, and that my husband was out at work. No respect for me or my job.

It's taken a long time but my husband was finally confident enough to tell his family that unexpected visits are not okay!

Have you ever heard of A) people who work from home and B) people who work times other than the standard monday-friday 9-5? 🤦🏽‍♀️

I love it, my kettle is always on.

But WFH is exactly the same as working out of a workplace for most people — are you saying that people drop in on you during your working day, imagining that you’re somehow at leisure for an extended coffee despite being at work? And absolutely I know people who work non-standard hours (we live near hospitals, and lots of the neighbours are medics), but if anything, I think that tends to make people even less likely to drop by unexpectedly, as they’re aware their schedule is shifting and/or they’re sleeping off night shifts.

Nope, don't like it. We're busy, both work, got young kids. If I'm busy then it's not convenient to just drop in, and if I'm not busy (rare) then I don't want to be landed on!

Like you I'm perfectly sociable but unless it's literally a flyer I want the heads up! It's really not a lot to ask.

I do not answer the door unless I am expecting someone.