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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be shocked some people have to be told special needs and disabled people have just as much right to be in society as anyone

178 replies

PennyRa · 12/02/2023 21:45

By law

OP posts:
GoodChat · 12/02/2023 21:54

I don't think we use the phrase 'special needs people'...

Original poster
PennyRa · 12/02/2023 21:55

GoodChat · 12/02/2023 21:54

I don't think we use the phrase 'special needs people'...

Special needs is not a bad term!

Can't believe I have to say that either

OP posts:
TigeToo · 12/02/2023 21:55

A bit of context might help

PurpleButterflyWings · 12/02/2023 21:56

I don't know a single person who needs to be told this. How infantilising and patronising you sound. Hmm

ThisNameIsNotAvailable · 12/02/2023 21:57

Point being people who have special needs not ‘special needs people’ I think.

Thatcatisdrivingmenuts · 12/02/2023 21:57

A blind person on the news last week saying that his cane was regularly kicked away from him. I was shocked.

Ludo19 · 12/02/2023 22:03

Thatcatisdrivingmenuts · 12/02/2023 21:57

A blind person on the news last week saying that his cane was regularly kicked away from him. I was shocked.

Yeah I saw that too. I couldn't believe it either and I'm definitely not suggesting he was lying just that in this day n age folk are so cruel.

Iam4eels · 12/02/2023 22:07

IME inclusion and equality rapidly runs out when non-disabled people think they are going to somehow going to be inconvenienced by it or when they think that disabled people are getting some sort of 'perk' that would be better allocated to non-disabled people.

One of my DC has a one to one LSA at school as well as adjustments like extra time in assessments, access to the lunch hall five minutes before everyone else, a school place during closures such as lockdown as strike days, no homework. I've lost count of how many people have commented that it's not fair he's getting advantages Hmm

Original poster
PennyRa · 12/02/2023 22:12

Thatcatisdrivingmenuts · 12/02/2023 21:57

A blind person on the news last week saying that his cane was regularly kicked away from him. I was shocked.

That's awful!

OP posts:
aibutohavethisusername · 12/02/2023 22:15

I was out with OH and our blind friend last weekend and someone grabbed his cane and started pulling him along. I was fuming.

Baggingarea · 12/02/2023 22:17

People are blind to it. I was blind to it until I became disabled. I still work full time, pay taxes etc but the hatred you get on public transport especially is the pits. I do think some sort of public information campaign - like you used to have with racism back in the day - would help awareness. Although 'special needs' not a term most would use. You might say your child has special educational needs but 'special needs' is a bit outdated nowadays. Language changes so quickly though - don't beat yourself up.

Original poster
PennyRa · 12/02/2023 22:17

Iam4eels · 12/02/2023 22:07

IME inclusion and equality rapidly runs out when non-disabled people think they are going to somehow going to be inconvenienced by it or when they think that disabled people are getting some sort of 'perk' that would be better allocated to non-disabled people.

One of my DC has a one to one LSA at school as well as adjustments like extra time in assessments, access to the lunch hall five minutes before everyone else, a school place during closures such as lockdown as strike days, no homework. I've lost count of how many people have commented that it's not fair he's getting advantages Hmm

And yet it's them and their kids who have the advantages

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 12/02/2023 22:28

Thatcatisdrivingmenuts · 12/02/2023 21:57

A blind person on the news last week saying that his cane was regularly kicked away from him. I was shocked.

My manager was going deaf and blind (Usher syndrome type 3). She was that used to her makeup/hair routine that she was still able to do them when her vision started to go. One day when walking with her came a man walked alongside her shouting that she was a fake pointing to her makeup. She had to go into a shop and ask for help.
When a relatives twin who have LD's used to go for respite the neighbours used to come out and loudly say how they'd love to get a free holiday. She used to reply that she'd love her kids to be able to play out.

DownInTheDumpster · 12/02/2023 22:34

I think non disabled people just don’t notice (not saying that’s ok). They see the lifts, the ramps, the chairs at the pool etc and think ah that’s it problem solved. You can’t know the ins and outs of how difficult being disabled can be (and how different disabled people’s needs are). I follow Sophie Morgan and the recent issue on the plane with her chair and then lack of access generally is really sad.
The UK is a tricky one as so many of our buildings and infrastructure is so old it can be impossible to adapt. Cobbled streets, old buildings etc- arguably we could tarmac it all over, enforce ramps instead of big steps, shut down anywhere inaccessible but that also seems extreme and would damage some of the old buildings that we try so hard to protect.
All new buildings do need to be accessible which is good. Old buildings are meant to retrofit and be accessible wherever reasonable. But as long as we have idiots parking across pavements so wheelchairs/prams etc can’t pass and kicking canes from blind people (disgusting) they will never truly feel welcome and comfortable and included.

Thatcatisdrivingmenuts · 12/02/2023 22:37

Those people are just ugh! My DH used to have a disability bus pass years ago, and he once ran for a bus. The driver created merry hell banging on about it, so DH asked him where he got his medical qualification.

GloomyDarkness · 12/02/2023 22:38

I still work full time, pay taxes etc but the hatred you get on public transport especially is the pits.

There was a disable right campaigner on BBC 2 Newsnight who was talking about this - she was told by fellow passengers she should travel at less busy times as people had to get to work - and when she said so did she - she was told people who had "proper jobs".

IME inclusion and equality rapidly runs out when non-disabled people think they are going to somehow going to be inconvenienced by it or when they think that disabled people are getting some sort of 'perk' that would be better allocated to non-disabled people.

I think this is it sadly.

Friend got harassed by parking in disable space by supermarket door as she was fine and clearly not disabled - as she struggled to get her DS wheelchair out and set up and him in - was then told she should have explain herself to random aggressive man. She was very shaken and said everyone just walked passed not seeing.

SarahAndQuack · 12/02/2023 22:56

'Special needs and disabled people'? Hmm

I do understand there's an argument to be made for disability-first language, but this doesn't feel like it.

Changechangechanging · 12/02/2023 22:58

They see the lifts, the ramps, the chairs at the pool etc and think ah that’s it problem solved. You can’t know the ins and outs of how difficult being disabled can be (and how different disabled people’s needs are)

jesus wept. In the big scheme of all things disability, lifts, ramps, chairs at the pool etc. are just the tip of the iceberg. Not all people with disabilities need these items. You should try having a hidden disability.

AllOfThemWitches · 12/02/2023 23:00

Yes, all many neurotypical people give a shit about is whether they are inconvenienced or not. The rights and experiences of disabled people matter not a jot to them. Entitled twats.

Itisbetter · 12/02/2023 23:04

It’s quite tiring. Teach your children to be better and help if you can.

AllOfThemWitches · 12/02/2023 23:04

Based on that other thread, i believe people think that if a person with disabilities can't behave like a person without disabilities, they shouldn't be in the same places as the rest of us. It makes me fucking sick tbh.

Original poster
PennyRa · 12/02/2023 23:21

Thatcatisdrivingmenuts · 12/02/2023 22:37

Those people are just ugh! My DH used to have a disability bus pass years ago, and he once ran for a bus. The driver created merry hell banging on about it, so DH asked him where he got his medical qualification.

I don't understand how strangers think they have the right to judge someone's disability or special needs

OP posts:
Itisbetter · 12/02/2023 23:23

not Everyone has experience of disability.

Timesawastin · 12/02/2023 23:24

PurpleButterflyWings · 12/02/2023 21:56

I don't know a single person who needs to be told this. How infantilising and patronising you sound. Hmm

And how out of touch and ignorant you sound. I recently used to work with people with learning disabilities. 100% of them had experienced abuse and discrimination which often overtly stated they had no place in public and ought to have been 'put away'.
100%.

Original poster
PennyRa · 12/02/2023 23:27

AllOfThemWitches · 12/02/2023 23:00

Yes, all many neurotypical people give a shit about is whether they are inconvenienced or not. The rights and experiences of disabled people matter not a jot to them. Entitled twats.

I've even had people have problems with my special child sitting under the table at restaurants. They are literally makeing less of an impact on your life than a child sitting on a chair, yet you just object to their existence in public

OP posts: