To be shocked some people have to be told special needs and disabled people have just as much right to be in society as anyone

[PennyRa]

By law

Well.to get a diagnosis of autism you have to have the Triad of impairment,s so by definition it is a disability some people as I said by not feel.disabled by their autism
However that wasent my point a charity cannot decide it's not a disability and my child is extremely disabled by it and it's insulting of the charity to.suggest he isn't

No, you are wrong.

To fulfill the criteria for an autism diagnosis, the symptoms must be persistent and impairing.

Therefore, anyone with a diagnosis of an autism spectrum disorder is covered under the criteria of the Equality Act 2010

People are challenging your language use and you are not prepared to listen.

It dismays me how often you read on MN - and hear irl - people who are shamed for being 'lazy' for driving a relatively short distance. There will often be a thoughtful person who asks "How do you know they don't have a disability or mobility problems?", only to be slapped down with 'no, they definitely don't have any disabilities' based on.... nothing more than a crass assumption from an onlooker.

I also remember the recent thread about car-free Center Parcs-style residential areas, along with many others. When 'reminded', people will respond that 'they' will 'do something' [probably wholly inadequate and threatening their independence] for disabled people; but by 'disabled people', they mean blue-badge-holding wheelchair-users. Even if you have to live with disabilities, you're still only 'allowed' to do so within the confines of what they (able-bodied people with no idea of your needs) deem necessary.

If you try to get on with things (not that you usually have much alternative) instead of sitting there whimpering helplessly, this will frequently be used against you as 'proof' that you aren't disabled at all.

As for disabilities where you may have 'bad days' and 'better days' - and you rely on harnessing the latter to be able to 'function' in society (e.g. being told that 'you've had a month to do something - just like everybody else', even though you may only have had four or five better days in that timeframe to fit everything in) - people are just itching to 'gotcha' you and shame you as a blatant fraud when they see you just about managing to achieve something on a rare day when everything just about comes together to enable you to do it.

He sounds just like my son. It’s so frustrating trying to get him the support he needs when people just don’t understand.

I told someone that I'm visually impaired. Her response was to talk really slowly. She spoke normally before that. Bizarre.

I now have a mild hearing impairment (as well as issues processing sounds - some letters sound similar) and don't thankfully get this. I'm always asked by my doctor or consultants "what would you like me to do?"

A lot of disabled people prefer it this way actually.

@CarmenBizet you are incorrect. Autism is covered by disability legislation because in order to be diagnosed you have to have symptoms that are long lasting and cause impairment. Impairment in this context is used synonymously with disability.

Also, many disabled people are happy to be referred to as ‘a disabled person’ rather than a‘person with a disability’. I would say I’m disabled, autistic, dyslexic, not ‘a person with xyz’.

I dunno if this will just annoy me but can someone link the thread. I don't use a chair but am hyper vigilant about when I'm taking a pram out.

Bloody toilets! It really winds me up. The ones at our local newly built shopping centre are horrendous. 1) they are too small to turn my chair around in never mind getting a carer in too and 2) they are INSIDE the main gendered toilet areas so if you are a woman out with your husband who is your carer you can’t access the toilet because he would have to walk through the ladies to get to it. I have a disabled son who can’t go to the loo alone or be left outside to wait. Am I supposed to go into the men’s with him and use that disabled loo or take him into the ladies?!

It's the terminology you're using. It's outdated and causes offense.

Both of my children have specific learning difficulties that mean they are entitled to extra time and some equipment adaptations for exams. Even my BF has commented "oh its not fair that someone as clever as [x] gets extra time. That isn't fair on everyone else".

@Sirzy sorry, it sounds like I aimed my rant at you! I’m wasn’t meaning to, I’m just pissed off with simple things being difficult.

People first (person with autism) people last (autistic person), doesn’t really bother me but I do feel I need to say “I use disabled” when someone uses special needs r it seems rude🤷🏻‍♀️
I think people should chose how they like to talk about themselves.

It’s surprisingly harder than you’d think raising a disabled child. Much of that sadness and stress is avoidable and some of it is that it’s just hard seeing someone you love very much struggle.

I could say the same to you. Please read my previous posts on the topic on this thread.

Anyway, language usage can affect attitudes, which is why it's important. However, it's also important not to get bogged down in language and shame parents of disabled children for the terms they use. Everyone has to start learning somewhere.

Yes, I agree with this. If you're not impaired by your autism then, by definition, you shouldn't have a diagnosis of autism.

I also get disproportionately annoyed at people who have disabilities but don't make a fair and accurate assessment of what they actually need, and rather they see adaptations as a perk they're now entitled to, if that makes sense. So e.g. I know someone who has a mental health condition, which counts as a disability with her workplace, so she uses the accessible toilets because "it's for disabled people and I'm disabled." She won't be told that it's only for people who need the specific facilities/space in that toilet, on that day. I don't use the accessible toilet when I'm not flaring, because I don't need it then.

I don't know about this @takealettermsjones.
You could be right, but maybe it's simply that she is a better judge of her disability that you are?

I have a DS with so-called high functioning autism and MH difficulties. The nature of his MH issues means he absolutely needs to use the disabled loos at least some of the time. He may need assistance and sometimes just can't function independently. And sometimes space and privacy are issues. But all that may not be obvious to an observer who's heard him chatting about his favourite TV show minutes earlier...

I know some people probaby do abuse the system, but I also think if someone is disabled we should be wary of telling them what they do or do not need.

I understand what you're saying, but in this case she is completely open about the fact that she doesn't need it, but she's entitled to use it and therefore does so because she doesn't want to queue. She has explicitly said it's not about whether she needs it or not. I haven't told/wouldn't tell her that she doesn't need it (because I'm not that close to her) but she has complained in my hearing about her friends telling her that she shouldn't use it, and her attitude is just why shouldn't she.

Well if she no longer needs it she’s committing fraud. It’s part of the terms and conditions that you update them and return it should your condition improve

I have an autistic child who behaves impeccably... (Because they are really anxious)

Advanced search will tell you I have two autistic children

But yeah, not all autistic people are the same. Many permutations of sensory hyper/hypo issues/communication styles and difficulties etc etc etc.

Oh yeah, it's all the other people out there who are dicks to disabled people. Meanwhile, MN 2020, was awash with posters declaring that anyone asked to shield and who had the audacity to leave their home should be at the back of the nhs queue and that children who were shielding should lose their school places. But yeah - it's those other fuckers who are prejudiced.

I remember all the posts about hoe vulnerable and disabled people should shield so that "normal"/"regular" people can get back to work or school and living their lives because, as everyone knows, disabled people don't have jobs, school or lives to lead.

Also lots of posts along the lines of covid being nothing for most people and "only" disabled/vulnerable people being at risk, as if disabled and vulnerable people are expendable.

It was also awash with posters " worrying about the welfare of vulnerable children" because of school.closures ,the same vulnerable children they couldn't give a shit,about during normal.times and would prefer their own children not to.have anything to.with them.
but it suited the narrative at the time .

The meme,I saw on many of my fellow parents of disabled children
Your "only the vulnerable"
"Is my everything ",kind of sums it up.

"It was also awash with posters " worrying about the welfare of vulnerable children" because of school.closures ,the same vulnerable children they couldn't give a shit,about during normal.times and would prefer their own children not to.have anything to.with them."

The parents of vulnerable children who did get school places were accused of being selfish and taking places away from the children of key workers.