To be shocked some people have to be told special needs and disabled people have just as much right to be in society as anyone

[PennyRa]

By law

Yes, it’s amazing how many people genuinely think that my disabled son doesn’t need the same education as “everyone else”. His disability is physical only (not that it matters) but in context it means some adaptations to the classroom not the work but many many people think he should just “sit out” the lessons he’s can’t do. When I say it’s illegal they go
quiet but I can practically seem them typing it into google. It must be 10 times worse for people with learning difficulties.

I think my favourite ones on here are the 'I raised 15 kids with autism and they all behaved impeccably because of my amazing parenting' type posters.

Some of these posts really shocks and saddens me! I had no idea there were people out there like this, I thought OP was being silly to post this. I'm horrified, says alot about culture. I wonder how many other countries this happens in 😞

And again, it boils down to the fact that a lot of people don't see those with disabilities as equally 'human.' They absolutely believe they are inferior and disposable.

Yep. Anyone saying that this kind of disability discrimination isn't a thing is just not looking. I use a wheelchair and find even access for that is appalling, and that's what most people think of when they think of "disability". To the extent that people often say things like "you can't refuse that accommodation, you wouldn't refuse a wheelchair user a ramp!" - actually yes, they would. And do, all the time. Accommodations for my other (non-physical) disabilities are even harder, and I've been subject to discrimination in the workplace etc.

Also agree that "special needs" is an outdated term and not used by a lot of disabled people now. I don't have "special needs", I have the same needs as everyone else - to access services, education, basic human requirements, etc etc. I need adaptations to do that, because I'm disabled. I recognise the term is still used by schools and similar, especially for children, so I can see if you're a parent of a disabled child you will be used to using it. Not sure that nitpicking over language is always the most useful, but it is important to be aware. The reason I personally like to stick to the terms "disabled" and "disability" rather than any euphemisms and alternatives is because they're what's protected in law.

Great and informative post.

Oh you’d be surprised, sadly. Off the top of my head there was the post about the friend visiting with a sick child where the OP’s daughter was immunocompromised, some shockingly ignorant posts on that. Buggy’s v prams on buses.

And where I live I can think of bollards in the middle of the textured paving that notifies to sight impairment pedestrians that there’s a road or change in paving level. Mask wearing during Covid. I could go on, but it’s depressing how little some people care, or how ignorant they can be.

Pretty much everywhere I'd say, sadly. I follow disabled people on Instagram from all over the world and discrimination and inaccessibility exists everywhere.
I will say though that infrastructure breeds attitudes. When I've travelled to areas with particularly good access and adaptations built into the city infrastructure, I've noticed a significant difference in how I'm treated compared to in more structurally inaccessible cities. I suppose it's because if non-disabled people see disabled people more often, they get used to treating us with respect.

But was that due to no understanding of why he had a cane or by an absolute twat who thought it was funny to be abusive? There is a difference. One is ignorant one is a cunt.

People don’t generally have a problem with disabled and those with additional needs in public, there are thankfully ongoing modifications being made to older buildings and a requirement in new buildings that disabilities are taken in to account. People can be arses with children with additional needs because it isn’t always apparent immediately whether their behaviour is caused by additional needs or bad behaviour. I have experienced this myself with my own family. However you are wrong to extrapolate that across all society. Things aren’t perfect but it’s clear there have been massive improvements in how disabled people and those with additional needs are treated and navigate the world.

What cities are good @bicyclesaredeathtraps?

Correct. I've lost count of how many times I've gotten shit over my disability and I've only had it a couple of years.

I get called lazy, told I'm not trying hard enough, I get things grabbed from me, I get loads of disapproval for being on strong medication, I've lost a job over it because they refused to make any reasonable adjustments, and people generally make it well known that I'm a burden.

And of course, I'm struggling with negative thinking myself and trying to adjust to a world that I can no longer interact with like I used to, while I'm being told I'm useless.

People can be very cruel.

I think people just have no idea how difficult it is. How hard to access education and health and how horrible people can be when out and about. It’s awful. I have the opposite experience to pp, I’ve been treated much much better in places with less support/legislation I think because they don’t assume you have somewhere to go or someone to help.

"Special needs is not a bad term!

Can't believe I have to say that either"

It is ok when talking about young children but I don't think think it is appropriate for teenagers and adults. I sometimes see it used when talking about adults with a learning disability and I don't like this because it can give the impression of talking about them like they are children instead of adults with a disability.

I think disabled is less ambiguous and less letters to type!

Look at how often people come up with the suggestion that (non-disabled) trans/NB people should just use disabled toilets: job done, obvious solution innit; as though they're a random spare luxury facility that's sitting there rarely ever used, rather than a lifeline for actual disabled people to be able to perform a basic human function like everybody else.

I think a lot of people see it as a binary: you're either helplessly disabled and unable to do or understand a single thing yourself without assistance (and, as they see it, a technically humanoid 'thing' that just gets in 'normal' people's way); or otherwise, you're perfectly healthy, but for the odd headache, cold or sore throat. Any people with disabilities on the vast spectrum between the two - especially hidden ones - are just far more than their closed little minds could ever possibly process.

Yes, this.

'SEN children' or 'special needs person,' is outdated. They are a person who has special needs. Calling someone a 'special needs person' makes out that the person has absolutely nothing else to them apart from their disability.

Can't even talk about my special needs kid without people acting like I just said Voldemort

The Basque Country in northern Spain. Specifically, in Vitoria/Gasteiz they have made the medieval quarter accessible in a way that maintains the aesthetics, San Sebastian/ Donastia, and Bilbao, were also great as a solo traveller with mobility aids. For whatever reason, the government of the autonomous community have obviously made it a priority to make their infrastructure accessible. I saw a lot of people like me there, much more than in other areas of the country, because we could actually get out and about and access the cities.

It’s appalling, tho I think it comes from institutions of past times, ignorance.
i have Parkinson’s and it affects my right side, and eye issues, embarrassing and annoyed by it

I knew a parent like that irl when I was growing up... A doctor had told her that her kids might have some autistic characteristics when they were toddlers but when they were formally assessed years later it was determined they were not. She claimed it was because her amazing parenting had "got their autism under control" 🙄

Honestly who are these people? I’m not doubting what you are saying at all but it is so hard to comprehend that you have had such a visceral response. Most people I know now, including older people have a really good understanding of the issues around disability and special needs

I agree. The amount of grief I got on here about trying to get my DC into a costly specialist residential college as there is no suitable education provision in our area was disgusting. I was told that tax payers money shouldn’t be used in that way and it would take money away from other DC.

I was made to feel guilty that I was even trying!

My DC has a right to get an education the same as all DC do, because he needs extra support that costs £££s, because has a disability, should he be denied that?

Whilst on paper we may have moved a fair way from things like disabled people being routinely left to die as babies, routinely shoved into institutions that did the bare minimum to keep them alive regardless of their actual capabilities, disabled people have had a shocking struggle even in MY lifetime...

Just looking at the last century though... the British Eugenics Society, supported by the likes of William Beveridge and Winston Churchill, considered that offering medical and social services to disabled people would lead to the 'dengeration of the human race'.

In 1935, Nobel Prize winner Alexis Carrel of the Rockefeller Institute proposed euthanasia stations to deal with the mentally ill (and criminals, because clearly the two are the same thing), by gassing them.

Hitler clearly agreed, he went on to wipe out 275'000 disabled people, and whilst we should absolutely never forget the atrocities Hitler and Nazi germany did to Jewish people, you have to dig a bit to find the numbers for all the rest, and disabled people are at the bottom of that pile more often than not.

Theres a whole lot more, but this should really shock folk. Until 1995, it was legal to discriminate against disabled people. We had no protection there, and whilst we technically do now, it is fucking hard to actually enforce in many many instances.

There has always been a nasty undercurrent of 'disabled people are lazy scroungers' and certainly in the last 20 years, that has been ramped up by government action (or inaction) by cuts to benefits, and by the media.

This attitude is so pervasive, I am constantly questioned, in surprise, by professionals I have to deal with (Drs, Nurses, Social Worker, Occupational Therapists, the Technical Officer dealing with my DFG application just last week)... when I mention that I work.

The assumption is, disabled people do not work - why is that? Why assume anything rather than simply gather relevant facts?

I have also had attitudes towards me visibly change on discovering this fact - which is probably more disgusting, how we are treated should not be altered by whether we can work or not!

There is a very broad assumption amongst the non-disabled, that once we have a wheelchair, a ramp, some hand rails or a stair lift, thats it, job done - we have all we could possibly need and life will here on in, be grand, with free cars and free parking and oodles of benefits...

Its the tip of the fucking iceberg and there isn't room on MN to tell you how wrong it actually is. Lip service has been paid, several decades ago now, and that, it seems, is that - the current government and a large section of the public would prefer it if we would all fuck off to a quiet corner and die, ideally as cheaply as possible.

The wheelchair vs pram on the bus threads always surprise me. And in a bad way.