To write a social media post about how proud I am of DD?

[MrsTickle123]

She was picked for the netball team and they won their tournament. I want her to know how proud I am of her and for her to feel special.

I’m doing it for her as want others to know about her achievements too.

That’s a different thing from wanting her to know you’re proud of her. In the nicest possible way, your SM friends won’t really care. Tell your DD and tell anyone else directly who’s going to be interested and genuinely pleased for her.

I don’t think by posting on social media is going to help her self esteem. It just teaches her that her self worth is based on other people’s opinion’s. Particularly those on social media.

If you want your daughter to know you’re proud of her then tell her. There’s no need to post a gushing social media post about it. Particularly if she’s in Year 6… all you’re doing is bragging to other people. Why not simply share the news with family and friends when you’re speaking to them?

This is perfect.

You are not helping her self esteem by using social media as a way of expressing that you are proud of her. What if only a few people like your post, will that not impact her self esteem? What number of likes would be acceptable to not have an impact?

Unless it’s on SM it didn’t happen🙄

😭 thank you! Loved that!

Go for it if you want to - most people wouldn't think twice. Well done to your DD!

Spot on.

Maybe she has low self worth/self esteem because she’s been taught to look to others/externally for validation?

Your SM is for you. Not her.

I'd be happy for you & her, OP.
I'm only friends with people I like & want the best for on my Facebook or Instagram. I'm there because I like hearing their good news & giving support when they have bad news. I'm super glad they want to share and that they do share because I like these people and knowing what is happening in their lives.

I'm not sure why other people go on SM, though !!

I think the AIBU here is asking Mumsnet for permission. I enjoy reading about my friends children's achievements and I post my own mainly for the Timehop!

I’m sure lots of us are guilty of this -and I have been too in the past - but actual achievements don’t really matter and don’t really need to be praised. What matters is hard work, perseverance, trying your best, team spirit etc.

@MrsTickle123 are you a lone parent out of interest, I used to feel so sad when I had no one to share my daughter’s achievements with, and she had no one but me to say well done, she would see her friends families and grandparents be proud. I sometimes just wanted someone to say I was doing a good job it was bloody lonely. But regardless well done on your daughter.

Surely we’re all grown-ups. I don’t know - I thought the post was for a 10 year old to tell her how proud you are? Or is it for the grown ups and not her? Would she even see it? Why can’t you just tell her?

You’re proud of her, so write it then.

The fact you’re questioning writing (rather than done in the spur of the moment out of genuine happiness which we’ve all done), makes it seem like you are trying to boast about her. Theres nothing wrong with being a proud parent but it does have to come from a genuine place and not all the time (the occasional post).

You have every right to be proud of her.

However, beware of the nazar, or “evil eye”. I’ve stopped posting things about my family on SM as something negative to us always follows. Might be a coincidence but there are so many examples it’s made me very wary. Unless your SM is private and only has your parents and close family on it who would be genuinely pleased for you, I’d keep it private. For example, you may be acquainted on SM with people who’ve not been able to have children and every time you post about yours it may be like a little stab to the heart. I only send photos of my children directly to family or very close friends.

Post it if you want- can’t imagine it would make any difference to your daughter though if she’s not on Facebook herself…

If you want to share her achievements on social media, then there is nothing wrong with that.

But if you are doing this to boost her self esteem, then I'd advise not to go down the social media route. Seeking external validation on social media to boost self esteem is a short-term hit that can set up unhealthy habits. I say this as someone who has had low self esteem and spoiled large chunks of my life making bad decisions because I was essentially seeking validation.

Find other ways to build up her self esteem, by praising her efforts in the game and rewarding her privately.

Share it. I don’t see a problem. It’s just the over sharers that are annoying. It’s the frequency I think.

There's a parent in my friendship group that posts boastful non happenings of her DC on a regular basis. X won a game of chess, picked for the street tiddlywinks tournament etc etc. We all think it is unnecessary, boastful and a bit weird.

Posting it does nothing for her DC sense of self and makes us slightly pity her.

Half my Facebook feed is people posting about their kids achievements - I also do on occasion as I have a lot of family on their who would actually want to hear about it - friends not so much. So, I would do it and not think twice.

I agree that teaching someone with low self esteem that external validation will help is not the best idea.

on there…not on their….I feel compelled to correct my typo lest anyone think I’m a complete buffoon.

Tell her.please don't post all over social media, it's totally cringe at that age in particular.