To write a social media post about how proud I am of DD?

[MrsTickle123]

She was picked for the netball team and they won their tournament. I want her to know how proud I am of her and for her to feel special.

This a million billion times over.

Just the fact the OP has started a thread asking for stranger's opinions, on doing something that millions of other adults do independently every day, tells me it isn't great.

Or at least her confidence isn't anyway.

As someone who as a child, had my achievements boasted about, the end result was that I felt my parents wanted me to achieve so that they could boast about me, and that if I didn't achieve, I was disappointing them. If you want to boost her self esteem then praise her to her face, but also praise her for non achievement-based things from day to day, just for being herself.

Don't forget to add 'Feeling blessed'.

The people I know who share their children's achievements in a low key way tend to share the social media post from their sports club/music group/youth drama club about the achievements and share it with a brief comment such as:
Well done to DC and the local football team

Sometimes there's a little joke about time spent hanging around in the pouring rain/humour that other parents would get.

Anything more than that is a bit much in my opinion and is unlikely to be very helpful in boosting the self esteem of a child who already struggles to be proud of their achievements.

I keep up with what my friends and family and children are doing via fb. We're all in different areas and it's not boastful, it's celebrating an achievement.

Listing out all their GCSE results or that they are "best in class" is slightly different, tmi and would be seen as boastful.

But posting, every now and then, celebrating a big win of a sports team or club your child is part of, or a child that's got a new belt in judo or something, that's news it is perfectly ok to share with your friends and family on Fb.

I'm afraid most people won't give a fuck. Just tell her yourself. It will mean so much more.

You obviously don't feel comfortable doing it but if you want to do it, do it.

Tell her, tell any grandparents, aunties and uncles, frame a photo of her at the event with her winning team . Job done.

Why not? It doesn’t have to be a cringe-fest post. I see people doing it all the time for their
kids if they’ve done well at gymnastics or swimming.

You're putting way too much thought into this! If I saw a post about this on social media I'd just think "oh that's nice...NEXT."

I'd get my daughter a little gift or take her out for cake and tell her how proud I am. I'd put the social media post up to tell everyone else how proud I am.

Absolutely this. No to social media about her achievements (or life in general...)

The best thing you can do for a child with low self esteem is help her install a sense of self. Don't care what people think on SM, don't actually care much what you think either. The only important thing is what she thinks.

How you do that is the opposite of posting on SM. It goes like this, "DD I saw how much practise you did to get on the team, you worked very hard. Are you proud of yourself?"

Every time she shows you something or does something, you ask her, with a smile, "are you proud of yourself?" And then pick a small, personal aspect to notice. Maybe a certain thing was tough and she did it, maybe she spend a lot of time and effort on a certain thing. Notice something that's important to HER that you've seen and also judge as important because she does.

I've done this with DD and she has excellent self-esteem, even though she struggled with school and friends and everything really!

This is absolutely right. It's nice to see in later years in the "memories" too. As long as it's not all the time it's absolutely fine and not bragging. Just proud. Go for it

To be fair in my friends and families Fb posts there's also posts of "great effort DD and Team X who tried hard - it was a cold and rainy day out but they gave it a good shot! Didn't make leaders board but hasn't dampened spirits!" type posts. So I guess in that way our fab are used as keeping up news. I forget who won or didn't but do then remember that Xs child or my second cousins children play netball / rugby / dance etc...

This is very standard on social media but honestly I find the whole culture very boasty. Just share with the grandparents or other close family?

Congratulations to your DD! As a former netballer and a big fan of the NSL I'd be very proud of her too. However, won't the school be posting about it or having a special assembly to congratulate the team?
Make sure you praise her and look at enrolling her in a local club, playing any sport is great for confidence and self esteem.

I’ve got to be honest, whenever I see a post about someone who isn’t on social media, and won’t see: ‘so proud of x, love you all the world’, I immediately think, ‘just tell them then!’.

But if you want to do it for your own reasons, then it’s your page to do what you want with.

You have a child with low self esteem approaching their teen years. Seeking validation via social media is not a good idea.

I put the odd thing about stuff my DC have done well on FB. I know that some friends and wider family will be interested, just as I like to see what my friends' DC are up to. If others don't care or roll their eyes that's fine, they can just scroll past.

I just yesterday shared a picture by one of my DC that won a competition, he's very proud and so am I.

It’s boasting plain and simple. By all means cook her favourite meal, praise her and tell her Aunts/Uncles/Grandparents in a phone call. Anything more than that is disproportionate.

I don't know if I would call it boastful I see stuff like this online all the time and I never second guess it or judge the parents for it. However I do see your motives of boosting her self esteem as very flawed but I do appreciate that you are concerned for her well being and want to help her. I don't have a ten year old so I'm not sure I'm the best person to give advice in this department. But I think you're energy is better served else where. I think taking her out and spending time with her as a family celebration is definitely a good idea.

I never really said it as a kid but I absolutely loved mother daughter dates!

I'm not sure there is much you can do for her in terms of friends and school but you can make sure she has a safe, comfortable, positive supportive home life so that when she comes home she is happy and has a place to escape. That is nothing to sniff at. Don't take it for granted. Focus on the things that you can control in terms of her self esteem!

This would be a bad thing to do to any child, let alone one with poor self-esteem.

Well it is boastful isn't it? You want to brag about her. It's not inherently wrong but it's quite cringey to do it on Facebook. Particularly since your DD is too young to have an account so no one will actually think it's for her benefit that you're posting.