What is going on with parenting these days?

[whocaresaboutbeingpopular]

Ok, so as my name change suggests I am aware this won’t be popular. My children are almost adults, youngest is 17 this year.

me and OH are away this weekend, we went to a place that to be fair we were aware would be full of kids; but we didn’t think that would matter as we don’t dislike having children around, however, since when did it become a thing to….

put your kids in front of a screen when they are having a meal? Not to mention having full volume of Peppa Fucking Pig?

let your kids shriek at high pitch continuously?

let your 18 month old walk themselves down the stairs despite a massive queue of people behind t? Ffs pick them up!

yes, no doubt I sound a right miserable bastard, but come on - is this how people are raising their kids these day? Bring on the entitled generation.

?? Who said that? It was a video taking the piss out of PUTA parents designed to make you laugh

Um... well, no, you're not supposed to take a 2-year-old to a restaurant. Ok in a cafe at lunchtime. A restaurant, get a babysitter or eat at home. That was certainly obvious to me and my youngest is still only 14.

Travel, I admit, is an issue. We did a lot of it with small kids again, one with ASD. And had no choice about travelling to see family. We still didn't eat anywhere above a barebones cafe with the unmanageable one(s), and took them out if they got noisy. In my experience the real wait is that gap between ordering and getting the food someone can certainly get up and take them outside if quiet conversation/colouring boo/small toys/screen WITH earphones isn't working. And again, one of mine WAS neurodiverse. But this was entirely reasonable.

If you can't even do that, no, you can't go to a restaurant. It's not the fault of the other restaurant-goers, it's just the facts of the situation.

Well I'm in my 20s and male so what reason do you think I have for not being willing to tolerate broadcasts of Paw Patrol across a confined space?

I really don’t know when people became so judgemental and intolerant of other people.
Probably when those people started behaving like morons (helped by greater access to noise-making devices). The lockdown hasn't helped people remember how to behave in public of course, but it was certainly a problem beforehand.

Yes, an aquarium haha we are interested in marine conservation and there was a big area about this - this was the only time we could go, we knew it was school holidays and knew that there would be lots of kids - not a problem - they generally stay in the more mainstream areas where there are lots of things to look at - however the incessant shrieking (by more than one child) pervaded everywhere

let your 18 month old walk themselves down the stairs despite a massive queue of people behind t? Ffs pick them up!

Yeah, this one gets on my tits. I got stuck behind someone letting their lickle angel walk down the stairs. At Liverpool Street station. In rush hour.

yes sorry - text speak losing the nuance - yes it did make me laugh, but the angry face - it’s meant to be a joke but all too real! And as I’m not like that I am obviously a misery

So now 2yo’s shouldn’t go to restaurants, just cafes even though according to this thread all 2yo’s have excellent conversational skills they can uphold for hours?

Theres actual chain pubs with soft plays catered for families with small children, would be a shame for them to miss out on business in favour of a cafe (where actually I would not expect to see a family such as Costas)

We took books everywhere, even before dd could read. She could look at her book or chat with us. Sounds dreadful perhaps, but we're all bookworms here.

I used to work there some years ago. Saw the good, the bad, and the ugly of parenting. It wasn't just the feral kids though, plenty of adults were twats. To be fair though, it's only the bad minority you remember, the majority were fine but as a result slipped into the background.

I think wWhat we’ve all learned from this thread is people have different tolerances. And that general public behaviour is going downhill.

You went to an aquarium in the schools holidays and wondered why there were kids all over the place running amock 🤣🤣🤣

Another one spectacularly missing the point - read my posts - we knew there would be kids there.

I'm all for colouring, drawing, or playing with little toys at the table in a restaurant. It often takes a long time for food to arrive and there's more courses than at home and adults want to relax and have a drink and chat before and after the meal so most young children will need something to occupy them. They can still be spoken to and involved in some of the conversation while doing this.

I am, however, not a fan of kids watching videos on an iPad because it's a much more immersive activity than colouring and they dis-engage from everything around them while watching a screen and even more so if they wear earphones. This makes it anti-social and the child doesn't take part in family conversations and learn how to socialise for an extended period.

As fo having the volume up on devices, and kids shrieking, this is just not necessary.

I was just about to post the same sentiments to what you said. People parent with no boundaries these days.

OP was pretending she was concerned about some larger psychological issue of screen use during mealtime. When, in actual fact, she was just judging people for wanting to relax while they ate food they hadn't had to cook and watch someone else clear their plates away to be washed by someone else... While their kids were quietly occupied. Oh, the horror.

Most people, and I would say basically all parents with their kids in tow, go to out to eat because it's a break from having to do everything themselves.

OP thinks her relaxation comes before other paying customers relaxation, and then wants to talk about entitlement 😂

I do agree that headphones should be used, or the volume be very low. Kids have that weird hearing where they can zone out basically all adult voices to laser in on their programmes, don't they? Unecessary to have it blaring away. Definitely agree on that.

People just couldn't give a monkeys about anyone else. I go out to various restaurants for lunch with a friend once a month. Not McDonalds but proper restaurants and every single time our day has been wrecked by the people you describe.
We've given up going now and cook at each others homes.
Last time a family came in with 6 kids various ages. The husband sat in the corner and did absolutely nothing with his kids whilst the mother kept losing her temper and just let the kids run amok. It was a miserable experience for us all.

Well said 👏

As a single mum to an adhd child I will happily go out with friends and sit my wild child Infront of his iPad if it means I get some adult time and he doesn’t upset half the restaurant and honestly I couldn’t care less what anybody thinks of that as long as he’s happy

oh dear, touched a nerve have I? The iPad thing whilst eating was just one facet of a myriad of lazy parenting - and yes I suppose I was judgemental - I am not sure what else you would call it when you are identifying poor parenting which will have an impact on a child’s social and communication development.

Why do you both think every single person with young-ish children are incompetent parents? Do you personally know every parent in the UK and how they are raising their kids? It's a bit stupid to say that EVERY parent doesn't parent properly.

Why do I let my child have an iPad or colour for a meal out?

1. I want to have a conversation with my husband for 10 mins over food I've paid to eat
2. I don't want the tables around us to complain about children as they want to eat their food in peace
3. he's three. A meal out is a long time for him to sit still be quiet and 'be seen and not heard'
4. pre children I LOVED eating out and a little part of me wants to try and regain that but I can't afford a babysitter and so I have to eat in family friendly places with my children.
5. they are my children and I parent how I see fit

I agree re the climbing all over.

I'm with you on the whole.

But then when I was pregnant with bad PGP my toddler had to walk more than most. I'm sure we sometimes held people up (although I'd have apologised). I'm sure that some parents have similarly good reasons for sometimes using screens in restaurants.

There is a trend towards more dependence on screens to entertain young children and away from having family meals together, and I think both of those habits are detrimental.

Not children doing a colouring book or watching a video while having some food. What next - setting fire to napkins and losing all power of speech as they weren’t discussing Lermatov’s early works and the NI protocol over a plate of chicken nuggets. Classic parent of adults complaint, my kids were perfect and yours are annoying. Reminds me of my mum saying children didn’t have tantrums in the 80’s. Then I reminded her of some of my brothers massive meltdowns over the years…

Not the shrieking, or the dropping food, the thought of being judged by everyone else.
Believe me, we are judging you for not dealing with the shrieking.

Kids occasionally watching an iPad (quietly) is not poor parenting.

Letting a (potentially recalcitrant and tantrum-y) toddler manoeuvre their way down some stairs is not poor parenting.

You've not really touched a nerve cause my kid would just launch any device and go "uh ohhh" given his age, but if he was older and would happily chill watching something on one so I could eat somewhere other than a pub attached to a Wacky Warehouse, then I'd totally do it. Once in a while.

Do you have a TV in your house? If you ever watch that instead of interacting with your partner 24/7, you might be dobbing yourself in as a lazy/poor partner 🙂