What is going on with parenting these days?

[whocaresaboutbeingpopular]

Ok, so as my name change suggests I am aware this won’t be popular. My children are almost adults, youngest is 17 this year.

me and OH are away this weekend, we went to a place that to be fair we were aware would be full of kids; but we didn’t think that would matter as we don’t dislike having children around, however, since when did it become a thing to….

put your kids in front of a screen when they are having a meal? Not to mention having full volume of Peppa Fucking Pig?

let your kids shriek at high pitch continuously?

let your 18 month old walk themselves down the stairs despite a massive queue of people behind t? Ffs pick them up!

yes, no doubt I sound a right miserable bastard, but come on - is this how people are raising their kids these day? Bring on the entitled generation.

You won't have to wait that long. Five minutes more like.

Ah I see!

But yes about the age where I find lots of young people have so many MH issues, anxieties (to the point you absolutely cannot give an iota of constructive criticism without them running to the loo to cry of just going home), refuse to do basic tasks and are generally very entitled. There’s plenty of MN thread about people working with young people who are the same.

I guess my point is it’s hardly fair to pick on younger parents and say “their children will not have any resilience and they’ll have anxiety” when actually that’s already happened with people 20 years their senior so I guess it poses the question OP - where did your generation go wrong with raising kids?

I agree regarding the screens OP. A few years ago I saw a group of roughly 15 adults and 10 children in a restaurant. The adults were at one end of the long table chatting, the children all on separate screens at the other end. I found it a really depressing sight and it sticks in my mind. At the time I didn't have children. I now have a three year old who I've never given a phone or tablet to in a cafe or restaurant, or on a bus or plane for that matter. I'm not saying I never will, but I feel it could be a slippery slope if I started as my child would then come to expect it.

It wasn’t Legoland - I have done my time at Legoland, center parcs and bloody EuroDisney not to mention the hell hole of Butlins, no big secret - it was an very large and well known Aquarium - we were well aware it would be heaving with kids - didn’t worry us - we don’t hate kids, but weren’t aware of how badly behaved kids are these days.

See I’d be the one to say to the child “Oi put those balls back and let the little ones have a go”.

Haha these posters have no interest in actually helping anyone, it is very clearly about the dopamine rush they get judging other people, trying to upset other people on the Internet, and reassuring themselves that they are Better Than Other People. I also don't think a lot of these PP have any place at all trying to guide anyone else's behaviour, just from their comments they come across as lacking manners, empathy, insight and social skills themselves. Not sure anyone should turn to them for parenting advice.

No thanks. I’ll just stick them in front of an iPad instead ;)

An aquarium, nice! I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless OP.

Im probably gonna contradict most of what I’ve said now 🤣 but we went to the one in Blackpool and I couldn’t believe the amount of kids banging on the glass and the parents said nothing! I remember eyeballing my DS, 4 at the time and VERY easily influenced and just muttered “don’t even THINK about doing that!”

I really had no idea people got upset about children colouring in a restaurant. We went out for dinner today with friends and I took a notebook and pencil for our two year old. Are we really expecting two year olds to be able to sit nicely for an hour plus and join in with adult conversation or are we supposed to only limit our conversation to things a two year old can talk about.

OP - you’re absolutely right. My DC are in their twenties. Before they were born I remember being appalled by British children in France running about in restaurants, so it’s not a new thing. Ours were brought up to behave and enjoy their food - when they were very small they’d have picture books, toy cars or whatever to play with but the focus was on the food and talking together as a family. As they got older they obviously didn’t need the accessories. Even as relatively small children they weren’t impressed by other kids “needing” handheld devices.

It starts at home, though. If families sit having their dinner on the sofa in front of the television, they’re going to struggle to have conversations at a proper dinner table.

But to come away from the iPad thing for a moment, in terms of a practical answer of “why aren’t kids be told to stop that more often”, I do think (and I’ll get pounced on for this and told I’m misunderstanding it all) that gentle parenting has a lot to answer for.

It was an very large and well known Aquarium

Oh I’ve heard it all now. Complaining about children progressing too slowly through an aquarium 😂. This must be a wind up?!

So... Does no one on mumsnet watch a bit of TV while they eat their tea!? 😂

I'm a single mum and I eat my tea when my toddler is asleep most nights... Shall I set up a mirror opposite so I can have some precious meal time interaction? It is, afterall, the only time it is possible to socially interact.

🙄

Do you bring it to a restaurant with you?

No, you’re just not supposed to take a 2 year old to a restaurant at all, apparently

Oh yeah, no doubt my kids have had their days of being little shits, but if they were behaving in the way I have seen today they would have been back in the car and on their way home whether or not I had just paid a small fortune to get in- I would have been too embarrassed to stay out and wouldn’t expect other members of the public paying an equal fortune to have to put up with them.

OP said how about interacting with your own children? You know? It used to be called parenting

Have to push my glasses back here and point out that akshually the widespread use of “parent” as a verb only dates back to the 70s/80s.

I'm a parent to a 1yo and we don't go to restaurants etc much right now, so I don't really have any experience of this first hand so feel free to tell me I will know better when my child is older

We don't do any screen time at all for our son currently, and I do agree that people seem to be afraid to let children be bored. I think this comes down to a general parenting-wide issue of perceived pressure to entertain your child at all times or else you're a crap parent.

I have misgivings about screen time in general, but I don't see how colouring is particularly different in terms of the issue of children not learning how to deal with being bored in a restaurant. I do wonder if there's a bit of screen snobbery - and I'm saying this as someone who, as I say, doesn't do screens at all for my child.

I also think that there's something to be said for complaining about loud children and at the same time complaining about screens in restaurants. I think we are in general becoming less and less tolerant of other people in public, and I think children and mothers (because let's be honest it always gets blamed on the mother) get the brunt of this. So is it really surprising that parents would feel pressure to keep their children quiet in public, so they "shove screens in front of them" rather than go through the likely fairly loud, whingy phase of letting them get used to being bored?

You wouldn't believe the level of entitlement people have when asked to turn the sound off on trains. I do this whether I'm in uniform or off duty because neither I, nor the other passengers want to listen to Paw Patrol or your crappy music. If someone boards who I'm aware would have difficulty standing then I loudly say "can someone please vacate a priority seat so that this lady/gentleman can sit down". It always works. I can't do anything about smelly food, but when in uniform I do ask people to remove their shoes from the seats, and for the belligerent minority who repeated put them back up as soon as my back is turned I threaten to chuck them off if they continue.

As for the man who took a phone call in the Quiet Coach the other day and refused to move out, there is a special cauldron in hell reserved for you.

We try not to but if we don’t eat with the kids, we will watch TV while we eat

Think this might cheer you up OP

www.facebook.com/reel/497461322536043?fs=e&s=TIeQ9V

No, I am asking on a parenting forum about letting an unsteady toddler walk along with a huge queue of people behind them. Aquarium, underground, shopping centre, cinema - what difference does it make? I think I’ve hit a nerve with you, you’re either one of those aforementioned ineffectual parents - or just a bit of a troll.

I think threads like this are why anxious people (like me) dread taking my DS out anywhere.

Not the shrieking, or the dropping food, the thought of being judged by everyone else.

My DH always says of course nobody is bothered what we're up to, they're too busy concentrating on themselves.

Clearly not from some of the comments. Can't believe I've actually just read "I judge other parents". It's nothing to be proud of 😂

On my trains it's middle-aged men who are the worst offenders.

😡haha I am obviously a child hating curmudgeonly peri-menopausal miserable bastard.

i don’t care.