What is going on with parenting these days?

[whocaresaboutbeingpopular]

Ok, so as my name change suggests I am aware this won’t be popular. My children are almost adults, youngest is 17 this year.

me and OH are away this weekend, we went to a place that to be fair we were aware would be full of kids; but we didn’t think that would matter as we don’t dislike having children around, however, since when did it become a thing to….

put your kids in front of a screen when they are having a meal? Not to mention having full volume of Peppa Fucking Pig?

let your kids shriek at high pitch continuously?

let your 18 month old walk themselves down the stairs despite a massive queue of people behind t? Ffs pick them up!

yes, no doubt I sound a right miserable bastard, but come on - is this how people are raising their kids these day? Bring on the entitled generation.

My DD2 has severe LD and motor disabilities. She used to be very intolerant of hats and gloves. It took years before she accepted her spectacles properly despite very poor vision without.

When we got her a tablet at about 16, we realised it would help entertain her in cafes and restaurants if we were out as a family allowing me and her sister to eat at the same time. Obviously she ripped the headphones off repeatedly the first time I tried them in the house, so I took her out to the park and sat on a bench and repeatedly calmly explained that outside we had to have headphones on and kept retrieving them and putting them back on. I did this a few times over a few days for about 5 minutes and she got it. She was highly motivated by wanting to get her mitts on her CBeebies App! I doubt she understood the language exactly but she got it and has been fine ever since. I would not have taken a tablet to a restaurant or cafe if she hadn’t tolerated headphones. It’s just not on.

I think having headphones on is just as bad. Zero social interaction. It’s ok not to have a screen in front of them for 30 minutes!

Actually I do agree with you about ipads at the table but allowing for the possibility that the child is neurodiverse, it doesn't really matter as long as they have headphones on. Not sure about the use of the word 'let' although I agree that child should be picked up if there are people behind on the stairs who are being delayed. But if the child is ND, then it isn't a case of being allowed to shriek, and it should be fairly easy to tell the difference, depending on age. In fact, I don't think even 18 month olds would shriek for longer than a few minutes at a time if they were neurotypical. The parents should take the child outside though, if possible, I just don't like the use of the word 'let' to imply that parents are able to control all aspects of a child's behaviour.

Thank God. Some sanity exists. My kids ate out regularly aided only by crap colouring and playing with cutlery (quietly tho. Mostly)

It’s annoying and ruins the surroundings for everyone else

I suggest you need to get that stick out of your arse if seeing other people on a screen upsets you this much. Unless you can hear the sound how is this possibly impacting you?

And no, I don’t hate children: I spent a whole flight listening to the child behind me playing a dvd - but felt this was keeping them entertained on a long flight - shame they didn’t have headphones but hey ho - a 30 minute meal - when are children supposed to learn to tolerate a bit of tedium and boredom?

Best comment here :)

You do like your judgy comments don’t you! You just have a 2yo….wait.

I used to let my 18 mo walk sometimes. They were in a pushchair a lot but they need to get out and learn to walk properly too. In fact you’d have hated me even more as by the time DD was 15 months I was 9 months pregnant and there was no way I was picking her up - if she was out her pushchair she was walking… at whatever speed that was.

Tablets… 🤷🏻‍♀️ I avoided them but used colouring books so not much different. No need for any noticeable volume though - that’s rude.

shrieking continuously would have had them removed from wherever we were if inside I agree, or distracted for everyone’s sake (ahem for example with a tablet?)

No, I don’t. Part of the experience of eating out is nice surroundings and the atmosphere otherwise why bother? Looking around and just seeing a load of kids gawping at flashing tablets is just depressing and irritating.

And what exactly is it I’m waiting for?

Oh FGS I’ve heard it all now.

Dont look round the room of the sight of a tablet distresses you. Simples. Other families shouldn’t have to pander to a ridiculous fear of seeing a screen, in a world where we see screens at every turn 🤣 have a fucking word with yourself if someone else being on a tablet triggers you

Well of course you’re right, we bang on about resilience and social skills but few parents actually want to go through any hassle to develop them. So just stick them on tablets and make some weak excuses then medicate them
for ‘anxiety’ etc.

And yea my kids do have great social skills, they just also go on tablets sometimes. Not sure why that’s hard to understand but maybe that’s something you need to take up with yourself

I'm a 'young parent' or so I like to think, I always take something to do, think colouring, card game, paper so we can do something on it like hangman or squares, but I HATE, despise with all my being, kids with a screen shoved at them as soon as they sit down, hate it, the thing with the screeching is also a pet hate, because if it's not acceptable behaviour from a four year old or an 8 year old it should be addressed and I was under the impression I need to parent my child to be around other people in a polite and considerate way.

I think the first option of a game or colouring allows for adult interaction whereas the screen is simply used to keep the child quiet so the parents don't need to interact. Lazy parenting IMO

It doesn’t ‘trigger’ me and I’m not ‘afraid’, how ridiculous. It’s just depressing and annoying for everyone else. You don’t go out to eat to be surrounded by screens. It’s just lazy, no matter what excuses some people make 🤷🏼‍♀️

Yes absolutely this.

But how exactly does it affect other diners?

Do people develop rashes if they don’t like the parenting happening on the next table?

And before @Businessflake comments I'm also peri menopausal, are you a man? Because that's a misogynistic comment if ever I read one.

PS. I'm not.

How is colouring different to a tablet? You’re allowing them to be distracted in both circumstances

Although my non-verbal, PEG-
fed DD often now has a tablet with headphones in cafes, my other daughter didn’t. Colouring and books when tiny, and talked to. I agree that unless very ND there should be no need. I know two families whose children aren’t allowed phones or tablets at the table and it’s a breath of fresh air. Their children actually have conversations with you. Well the baby doesn’t but she isn’t in front of a screen.

You understand! And actually relating to anxiety - when will parents tell their children some worry is normal (it is not anxiety) and sadness is also normal (it is not depression)

Well that’s your issue then. Weird thing to be depressed about. Why should other people alter their behaviour because are depressed by something they’re doing? Genuine question. I could never imagine being so arrogant!

Because it’s poor parenting and the product of that poor parenting affects everyone when they become adults with ‘social anxiety’.

My kids have done some of those things in public places when they were little. It could be really embarassing at time, but I never figured out how to stop them at that age when they discover running. The ipad or phone is something to keep the kids occupied so they don't bother other people - although, having the volume high in a public area does seem very antisocial.