What is going on with parenting these days?

[whocaresaboutbeingpopular]

Ok, so as my name change suggests I am aware this won’t be popular. My children are almost adults, youngest is 17 this year.

me and OH are away this weekend, we went to a place that to be fair we were aware would be full of kids; but we didn’t think that would matter as we don’t dislike having children around, however, since when did it become a thing to….

put your kids in front of a screen when they are having a meal? Not to mention having full volume of Peppa Fucking Pig?

let your kids shriek at high pitch continuously?

let your 18 month old walk themselves down the stairs despite a massive queue of people behind t? Ffs pick them up!

yes, no doubt I sound a right miserable bastard, but come on - is this how people are raising their kids these day? Bring on the entitled generation.

The people o see on trains blaring music aren’t 6yo children, they’re people the age of the OP’s kids.

Sorry, that was to @TomorrowAndTomorrowAndTomorrow

OP given the attitudes of people your kids’ age, the rudeness and lack of work ethic, I really don’t think the shitty parenting started anytime recently

Everything that @MelaniesFlowers says - I have friends with slightly older kids who opted for the "screens at the dinner table" route, and now are heading to high school still unable to sit and have a proper meal with adults. It's absolutely shocking imho, and they behave worse than my 3yo when they're 3 times her age 🙄

And actually @TomorrowAndTomorrowAndTomorrow that very response tells me everything I need to know about your parenting (or lack of)

OP you sound brilliant! I think exactly the same as you. My kids aren't allowed tablets at all, not phones, they can watch tv sometimes at home, but in a restaurant we chat, sit sensibly and interact. When they were young I did allow a sticker book (this is not the same as a screen as it actually involves brainpower, not gawping at crap. As for alikening a baby walking down the stairs to an elderly person - errm a baby can be picked up??? If you tried to barrel my granny under your arm, she would have something to say about it. Parents have become so lazy. So easy to make a baby right? Way harder to bring it up properly.

Not ok. But you don’t hear many people complaining about obnoxiously loud adults which are just as bad in my view.
Strangely enough, I very rarely encounter obnoxiously loud adults in restaurants. Perhaps it's a regional thing.

But I agree with a PP, every generation says this.

My mum was told she was ‘soft’ and ‘raising spoilt brats’ and ‘what has parenting come to!’ In the 80’s because she never smacked any of us (I’m one of 3) and never would. It was quite unusual for the time to be anti-smacking

I was actually giving the OP the benefit of the doubt that there’s a hormonal reason for why she’s so miserable.

I really don’t know when people became so judgemental and intolerant of other people. And just seriously obsessed with complaining about everything. Maybe forums like MN just encourage that? I just think people need to lighten up. Most parents are just trying to do their best.

Did I mention my kids age? Or whether they are in gainful employment?

Regarding screens at the dinner table. I have two children, a 7 yr old who is neurotypical, who can sit happily at the table without a screen. However, my eldest, who is neurodiverse, cannot sit for long. If we go for something to eat, it is better and less disruptive to other diners if he has a screen at very low volume, which others cannot hear.
Otherwise our meal would be very stressful. The only other alternative is we just don't go out for meals.
It's a shame that parents are automatically judged as being 'poor parents'.

You should come to Yorkshire, full of bloody loud mouth men bellowing everywhere I go 😂

Children should be seen and not heard, not roaming around, I stopped going to local pub as its a creche full of entitled mums and buggies...kids running riot, tripping up staff carrying trays of food and drink and nobody dare say anthing as they get a mouthful....Jocasta and Aurelia are developing their social skills so can run riot and cause chaos !! we only go out to eat at a restaurant that does not allow any children under age of 18.

You could have absolutely made your point without casting the OP as being hormonal due to age

I think this thread really demonstrates why the “it takes a village” approach MN posters say they want, isn’t actually what they want.

It takes a village means that people help you raise your child - including commenting on how that should be done - recognising that well-raised children are useful for society.

It does not mean everyone else must sit benignly while your children do whatever they like.

The public interest argument (it benefits society for me to have kids) is what MN posters always say when it comes to parents getting benefits/perks/higher tolerance etc. And yet that same public interest argument vanishes (it’s none of your business how I raise my kids) the moment someone isn’t giving them a benefit/perk/higher tolerance. Society has an interest in well-raised kids, not just kids who’ve been dragged up.

I’m not talking about tablets, per se, but about the massive decline in children’s’ behaviour. It is shocking to me to witness how poorly most kids behave, and I largely expect many of them will be a drain on society not a benefit. Not that their parents care.

YADNBU OP.

You have 5, youngest 17, you still work - it’s fairly obvious they are late teens/early-mid 20’s.

And I’m not necessarily talking about YOUR kids but IME in a managers role people that age have a shocking work ethic, riddled with anxiety and MH problems and are generally quite lazy.

Children should be seen and not heard

Yea let’s revert back to miserable times when children had to be mutes 🙄

Benefit of the doubt? Oh please stop with the disingenuousness - I am not actually miserable - I just lll am just fed up with people thinking everyone else has to put up with their poorly behaved children because they cannot parent them properly - it’s obviously hit a nerve with you - don’t worry, it’s not too late to do a parenting programme

HAHAHAHAHA you’re adorable.

I can assure you, your parenting style will have been judged too during your kids younger years. Something you did with your kids others will have looked on tutted, shaken their heads at and judged you for lacking parenting skills. For what it's worth, I dont mind parents taking tablets for their kids, we don't, but no doubt have I've been judged for something else.

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl 😂

You have just reminded me of the anxiety two of my older siblings had with their children in that age group about whether their children are have a shocking work ethic and are generally quite lazy.

(I found them proof they weren't.)

I’m intrigued now to know where you went OP - if it was Legoland I’m afraid I’ll have no sympathy 😂

Sorry I misunderstood. Yes my youngest is 17, my oldest is 27 - I bought up two step children who lived with us.

I get it!

We were at Science Centre today- there was a wee activity where kids feed balls into a machine. And watch them spin around (was cooler than I’ve described). As we queued up, the kids were all playing with this machine. An older kid starts pocketing all the balls, so no one else can play. They younger kids are trying to get them, but she’s bigger so starts taking them and putting them all in her pocket. Her parents smiled indulgently while she stopped everyone else playing with it, did not ask her to put them back it to let others have a turn.

In the plantatium, which is advertised as for over 7s, a toddler cried and screamed solidly for 15 minutes of the show before the parent removed them. They are obviously scared, not enjoying it, no one else can hear the show….take them out!

my youngest is only 6 so I’m by no means forgetting what it’s like to be out in public with young kids, but a bit if consideration for other people goes a long way!

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