What is going on with parenting these days?

[whocaresaboutbeingpopular]

Ok, so as my name change suggests I am aware this won’t be popular. My children are almost adults, youngest is 17 this year.

me and OH are away this weekend, we went to a place that to be fair we were aware would be full of kids; but we didn’t think that would matter as we don’t dislike having children around, however, since when did it become a thing to….

put your kids in front of a screen when they are having a meal? Not to mention having full volume of Peppa Fucking Pig?

let your kids shriek at high pitch continuously?

let your 18 month old walk themselves down the stairs despite a massive queue of people behind t? Ffs pick them up!

yes, no doubt I sound a right miserable bastard, but come on - is this how people are raising their kids these day? Bring on the entitled generation.

That is very true. And given so many people have multiple children that all behave very differently it can’t all be down to parenting.

I will admit I was a right smug fucker when DD came along and behaved impeccably in restaurants (no tablets in the early days, we’ll get to that). Then when she was 3 DS was born, and he was fine in restaurants as a baby. Then at 18mo, we were in Pizza Express. He screamed, kept pulling his pants down, went to run round the restaurant etc. he was an absolute nightmare. We left, took our boxes up pizzas and didn’t eat out again for 3 years 🤣 at which point fidgety arse DS needed distractions so we’d just bring iPads out for them both to make it fair

I’m just trying to wrap my head around ‘people shouldn’t have iPads because I don’t like to see screens it ruins my meal’ and why other people should give a shit. And also how it increases depression because of some random and unfounded link to future social anxiety?

Why not just say it’s because you’re judgmental rather than some nonsense about being islet about seeing screens

Of course personality plays a part too, and of course as she grows older and goes to school she will be influenced by others.

However, consistent and healthy boundaries are important factors to ensure that despite undesirable influences, your child knows how to behave appropriately.

I understand what you are saying OP. I don't care if anyone sticks their kids in front of a screen but why have the sound on? If I'm sitting in a waiting room, it's obnoxious to have to listen to the repetitive stuff some of these kids are listening to. I used to read quietly to my kids and interact with them. I find the banging of kids toys and quiet talking okay, just not the repetitive stuff on the ipads. I don't say anything but do consider the parent inconsiderate. (Total FWP).

On the other hand, one of my kids is autistic and I often let them be on (soundless) screens when we're out to eat before the food comes. They find it hard to sit still for that long, so that's not a battle I choose. I just make sure they don't impose on other people with what they are doing. No sound on the device.

But iPads are no different to kids having colouring books.

I've never come across a colouring book that affected anyone else (so long as the crayons don't stray at least). iPads on the other hand are often played at full volume with no headphones on. I am slightly concerned at work when I ask to see a ticket and the child is on the verge of a full-blown tantrum because the phone/tablet has to be borrowed back for two seconds to show it. These devices are far too addictive for kids.

It’s disingenuous to pretend you exist in a bubble and then you’re so zen and philosophical that nothing anyone else does ever irritates you or seems inappropriate. No, I don’t want to be surrounded by flashing screens when out for a meal. I go out for the atmopshere and surroundings, and that doesn’t include seeing peppa pig everywhere I glance. Of course you’ll say you’re so cool and detached that you ‘wouldn’t bat an eyelid’ blah blah

The 18 month going down the stairs is ridiculous.
i have nothing against screens as long as they are silent or the child has headphones.I honestly don’t see the harm then.

Technology and children, it's a winner

as someone with twice as many children and years more experience, perpetuating the concept of ‘undesirable influences’ will be far more damaging than iPads at a restaurant.

Also, it’s almost hilarious that people think it’s so black and white. Children who are confident, can speak up for themselves, make loads of friends, speak to all adults and get up in front of hundreds of people regularly to read poems etc can’t possibly be sociable or have ‘healthy boundaries’ because a few times a year they watch an iPad in a restaurant 😂

Oh dear. Soon we'll barely have to parent, hold and talk to our kids at all.

It's bizarre because I completely agree with the OP and I'm in my 20s. One doesn't need to be old to want a bit of peace and quiet (and no, I'm not expecting a library atmosphere or anything else unreasonable).

Quite honestly your experience and number of children are wholly irrelevant as given your many posts on here I can see we parent very differently.

I mean that’ll be the norm in 5 years and it’ll be all ‘what’s the harm’ and ‘none of your business’ like on this thread 🤷🏼‍♀️

How they live their lives is no concern of mine. Up to the point at which they start inflicting it on unfortunate bystanders like me.

Agree

Plenty of things irritate me. Especially in restaurants. Loud chewing makes me want to leap across a table and smack the food out of someone’s mouth. but I don’t think for a moment that’s anyone’s problem/complex but my own, and mine to deal with. I don’t let it ruin my meal or get depressed, or cast a judgement on people who do it. I just try and zone it out and get on with my meal.

Oh, come off it. OP isn't in the wrong for being annoyed by shrieking kids and parents that let their kids hold everyone else up 🙄

It was because someone asked if OP was menopausal 🙄 ageism prevailing on MN yet again!

But it IS none of your business.

Ive never seen a pram like that and don’t at all think it will be the norm - but even if it was, it doesn’t affect you

That comment was designed to make me feel shit, and other ones after - the poster is obviously one of “those” parents.

as for screens keep them Occupied - how about interacting with your own children? You know? It used to be called parenting

Poor parenting is absolutely society’s business because it produces mentally and physically unhealthy adults. I’ll get plenty of hysterical replies about ‘tablets in restaurants don’t equal a lifetime of anxiety’ but we all know it’s a snapshot of a wider picture of lazy parenting, children with no social skills unable to tolerate anything that isn’t hyperactive fun, and the inevitable ‘social anxiety’ when they realise they have no idea how to converse with people apart from in a tiny array of situations.

news.sky.com/story/amp/toddler-tablet-and-phone-use-linked-to-behavioural-and-social-problems-12249474

My 13 year old’s friend never thanks me for the lift, after I’ve taken her home (which I’ve done numerous times). It’s a small thing but I find it so rude. I told my daughter that if she ever gets a lift, she must say thank you. I think lots of parents are letting simple manners slide.

Sorry, I meant the comments from the “peri-menopausal” poster, apparently if you call crap parenting out you must be peri-menopausal.