What is going on with parenting these days?

[whocaresaboutbeingpopular]

Ok, so as my name change suggests I am aware this won’t be popular. My children are almost adults, youngest is 17 this year.

me and OH are away this weekend, we went to a place that to be fair we were aware would be full of kids; but we didn’t think that would matter as we don’t dislike having children around, however, since when did it become a thing to….

put your kids in front of a screen when they are having a meal? Not to mention having full volume of Peppa Fucking Pig?

let your kids shriek at high pitch continuously?

let your 18 month old walk themselves down the stairs despite a massive queue of people behind t? Ffs pick them up!

yes, no doubt I sound a right miserable bastard, but come on - is this how people are raising their kids these day? Bring on the entitled generation.

Agree with you completely OP and I have two little ones aged 4.5 yo and 1.5yo. We have never done screens during meals, continuous screaming would mean child is taken outside sharpish, and we'd carry a little one down the stairs if it was causing a nuisance for other people!

I went to a restaurant with DH and the kids the other night, it was absolutely heaving, music playing, lots of shouting and noise from kitchen etc. We just had to put up with it - I didn’t start crying because it wasn’t how I would have liked it, I wouldn’t imagine myself to be so important. Didn’t notice if kids were on iPads because I would rather have a nice meal with my family than obsess about what other people are doing and stare around at others

I was always very well behaved when out with my parents. I’d have been hit otherwise so I was behaving out of fear. I don’t hit my children. They don’t behave anywhere near to the standards expected of me as a child but then again, their childhood memories won’t be mainly filled with them running off to lock themselves away in safely.

Its all about being kids friends and no parenting seems to be getting done. Makes me laugh my DD tells me everything she is definitely my daughter not friend and some of her class mates that have parents who want to be friends seem to have no idea what their kids are up to.

When your 2yo will behave differently than she is now and have different expectations.

“How is colouring different to a tablet? You’re allowing them to be distracted in both circumstances”

You can talk when colouring and it isn’t a passive uptake of highly repetitive and heightening, addicted animations and sounds. Children often chat to you about their drawings and colourings (mind-numbingly I found) so it’s not an entirely independent activity.

Please do share what you do instead to get her to sit still when you are trying to eat your meal??

My DD1 is nearly 6.I am pretty on the stricter side with screen time, and hate seeing school age children in restaurants absorbed in screens rather than interacting with their families, but she had Peppa pig and the like on as a toddler when she didn't have the attention span to sit at the table to focus on an 'activity' such as colouring or reading for any amount of time.It wasn't for the whole meal just abit of it so we could actually sit and eat without her screaming or trying to climb out the highchair.
As she has got older and more able to concentrate on other activities at the table such as games or colouring, we have not allowed her to sit on a screen during a family meal at a restaurant, same as we all sit around the table without screens for our family meal at home.

She has managed fine with the transition.

addictive

So what if it’s lazy? Why do you care?

Like I say, how arrogant to say “I’m going out for a meal and the surroundings should be to MY liking otherwise it’s depressing”. Weird thing to be depressed about. Although I do get a bit depressed by snooty arse judgy fuckers scanning restaurants while I’m trying to eat so different strokes for different folks I guess

I try to bring stuff like that with me to cafes so that I have something else to offer when the inevitable 'we're bored. can we have the phone?' question comes up. I have to admit to sometimes caving in, though.

So you have a bad meal because children in a restaurant may or may not grow you to have social anxiety?

Weird

My DC does word searches on a tablet. We sometimes do them together on there. Is that acceptable?

It's perfectly possible to parent without screens at the table. My eldest is 4.5 and we've never done that, it wouldn't even occur to her. No reason to think this poster won't continue with it either.

Of course she’ll behave differently than she does now as she grows, but she will behave based on how we’ve parented her.

Children’s behaviour isn’t random. Them being unable to act appropriately in a public place doesn’t come out of the blue, it comes directly from how they are parented.

why do children need to colour or screen time at a table?
Agree with this.

We took DD in to restaurants from when she was very young. No colouring book or tablets, we just talked to her. Obviously in relatively quiet "restaurant voices", i.e. Not performance parenting

This will make me sound old I suppose, but when I was primary school age, we learnt how to behave at a table during school dinners even if we didn't learn it at home, which I did. Right from starting school we had to all sit down together at the table, eat with a knife and fork and only get up to leave when everyone had finished and we were told we could go. Guess what? Everyone managed this very quickly. Little kids just copied the bigger kids. Maybe expectations of what kids can manage are set too low

Why would you take an overtired or ill child to a restaurant? Surely you'd change your plans and take them home

We've never done screens when out and about .I'll take a book though to read to my youngest. But the screaming - well with my dc1 I was very smug and also didn't understand why parents 'let' their DC scream because dc1 was very well behaved when out and about and always easy to negotiate with. And then along came dc2 who has uncontrollable meltdowns. NOTHING soothes or distracts them. I cringe at my smugness now!

Not always.

The other night my DD played a game - not sure what it’s called - on her tablet where she was playing live against other players. They all had character that ran across a bridge and asked questions - like maths questions, spelling etc, and the more they answered the faster they go (if that makes sense I’m crap at describing things like this) and she was excited to reach the end and asked me to help/watch her. DS coloured and showed me his picture. No difference between the two.

@Mummyof287 She is also eating when we are eating We all sit together, eat and chat. She doesn’t use a highchair anymore and hasn’t since she was about 18 months.

We don't take mobile screen time with us when we go out because like at home we don't allow screen time at the table but I would never judge someone else for doing so.

You mention about an 18 month old holding up the queue of people, not that it matters but how do you know the child was 18 months old? A friend of mine has suffered terribly with her back and picking her child up, especially on some steps would not be the best move to make! Just because someone looks able, doesn't mean they are!

My DS (6) does kids sudoko, he’s better than me 😂 I don’t think people realise that not everyone puts Peppa Pig on

No one doesn’t equal the other. Surely your powers of comprehension aren’t that poor?

I see how it’s easy to believe that now but you’ll be surprised when she starts school how much her peers influence her behaviour. You’re deluded if you think her behaviour is down to 100% contribution from you

One thing I love about MN is that I always thought I was a miserable, stuck up intolerant person. Now I realise I’m not that bad 😂

They could back in the day 🤔