What is going on with parenting these days?

[whocaresaboutbeingpopular]

Ok, so as my name change suggests I am aware this won’t be popular. My children are almost adults, youngest is 17 this year.

me and OH are away this weekend, we went to a place that to be fair we were aware would be full of kids; but we didn’t think that would matter as we don’t dislike having children around, however, since when did it become a thing to….

put your kids in front of a screen when they are having a meal? Not to mention having full volume of Peppa Fucking Pig?

let your kids shriek at high pitch continuously?

let your 18 month old walk themselves down the stairs despite a massive queue of people behind t? Ffs pick them up!

yes, no doubt I sound a right miserable bastard, but come on - is this how people are raising their kids these day? Bring on the entitled generation.

@FieldofTulips
That’s wonderful, how does Peppa Pig fit into this learning journey then?

Because they learn on screens in school, surely learning social interactions and communication as well as manners and considerations from adults is more important during leisure time than yet more screen time?

@FieldofTulips old bags? Are you the peri menopausal poster back under a new name you've no idea of the age of people commenting except perhaps a wide guess dep if they've said the age of their child

If you choose a place that is frequented by children (say McDonalds). If you choose a place that is frequented by adults wanting a drink and children at peak child feeding times, where there is minimal table service or waiter service, especially if the eatery is considered "good value" by many (say Wetherspoons). Then you are on a slippery slope. If neither of these apply, but you are triggered by others "entertaining" their offspring in whichever way they see fit (and I think loud performance parenting disturbs "ambience" as much a child looking at a screen with headphones on personally) then you are still on that slope, although you probably don't deserve to be on it every time !

Parents are not scared . But OP judges all the shouting children too ! So she was judging the slowly climbing toddler (how would she know the child was exactly 18 months old) but would judge the same parents if they did in fact pick the child up and the child started crying hysterically and they did not effectively stop it immediately. She would be more pleased if they just left the restaurant or remained out of her sight.

@whocaresaboutbeingpopular

Well no, as that would be ridiculous. Although your comment does back up my point. If many adults get bored and can’t sit through a drink/meal out without picking up their phone and scrolling/distracting themselves, why to we expect children to act like ‘adults’ and sit quietly engaging in conversation or whatever is expected of them in an environment they clearly find boring/uncomfortable.
If a little screen time during a meal out keeps them entertained and happy I just don’t get why people loose their minds over it. Coz the Same people seamed to also be annoyed when children start playing up as they are bored. Im in no way implying this is what you have said OP at all, just making my own observations

They’ve never watched TV?

Thing is - this opinion is still as old as time itself. Every generation thinks it did it better. There will be a number of people who are agreeing with you OP who will actually be lumping your parenting and your kids generation in with the "parents these days".

And every generation sees the next as softer, weaker, lazier and less disciplined.

It's not that long ago that we used to beat kids in school. When that stopped there were plenty of cries of "Didn't do me any harm" or "Well how are we supposed to make them behave now." Now we knows that's wrong, beating defenceless children so they're too scared to step out of line doesn't really teach them anything useful for functioning in a society.

Each generation learns something new, has different challenges to face and does things differently (like parenting). You've picked a few examples of "bad" parenting, with not even a hint of acknowledgement of the fact that's a tiny glimpse into someone's day.

I know on the face of it you might make generalisations like "parenting these days" is lazy or bad if you pick on specifics. But we're all "lazy" compared to previous generations. I bet no one here hand washes all their clothes... Or makes all their clothes for that matter. How about churning your own butter? Bit lazy really that you don't do that by hand?But with the time we save on outsourcing jobs, we fill the time with other more valuable things.

Goodness Miss Marple, what have you got against Peppa Pig? It's pretty funny at times do give it a try some day cause clearly you got a lot of time on your hands to observe others and making opinions of other people's parenting .

Hang on - if kids are on screens they have no social skills…but adults on screens MUST have social skills in other times of their day, despite not being able to hold a conversation as an adult with a person they’ve CHOSEN to meet up with because they’re too glued to their device?

How convenient

Screens at a restaurant table is fine. Inflicting the audio on others who are also trying to have a nice time is not.
It's not just parents - everyone seems less and less able to think 'is this fair? is it inconsiderate? Does it put others in a difficult position? Would I like this if the tables were turned?'
We're turning into a nation of cunts.

@FieldofTulips

You are obviously one of “those” parents. And after your ageist and misogynistic “old bags” comment, you’re not really worth responding to any more.

Look - not everyone gives their kids screen time.

But as a parent you’re a liar if you say you’ve NEVER just done the easiest (but not ideal) thing to do at the time to keep everyone happy/get where you need to be/calm your child down/hurry things along. For some people - they do screen time.

We have all done stuff as parents that someone else would think is bad parenting, so I think before you cast a weird and wide judgement on other you perhaps want to think about what other people’s opinions of you are relevant (as you clearly believe yours of other people are relevant)

This is very true. Cuntishness is definitely on the increase.

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl

It wasn’t my opinion, I was asking if this parenting style is the norm now, I didn’t know whether I was just out of touch or being mardy, but from other posters I can see it is not just me who thinks this.

I think lockdowns somehow made people forget how to behave in public and how to speak to others.

I went to the cinema the other day to see Titanic and the behaviour of other adults was appalling. Taking selfies, full on conversation, one girl (maybe late teens) in front of me kept raising her phone to take a picture of the screen to SnapChat to people with various emojis. Kept getting in my way!

A group of young lads (again maybe late teens early twenties) we’re having a full blown conversation. I’m afraid I embarrassed my (perfectly well behaved even when Kate Winslet got her boobs out and she had to stifle a giggle) DD by going up and telling them to be queit otherwise I’d be reporting them to the manager. It took all my power not to shake my first at them 🤣

Maybe it’s because I’m early 40’s, maybe it’s because of lockdown, but im certain the general public we’re far better behaved pre-COVID

@Getir it's not perfect parenting - it's standard parenting. Or it should be. As the poster says, basic table manners (for NT kids. Totally get that ND kids may need their tablets to calm/distract/communicate etc.)

On that point, every parent I've met with nd kids including my own family makes sure they have good headphones and don't allow noise from the tablets to disturb others. It's only selfish parents of over indulged kids that let them blare away at peak volume.

Agree! Dd (8 and I) were stuck in a car with my friend and her 8 year old who was screaming sorry singing at the top of her lungs. My DD politely said “can this noise stop?” To which she was told “I can’t really tell her to stop.”

Yes you can. It’s called parenting. Discipline has become a dirty word that equates to abuse. People are afraid of being told off and they pass their neuroses onto children. “I wouldn’t like being told I had less choices” yes but you’re not a child FFS.

I find our version of parenting really pervasive to our children. So much pressure, options and explanations at a young age. They’re growing up frazzled and unable to process the world around them. What happened to boredom? To curiosity? To being hungry before dinner? To being able to cope? To being strong and determined? To having a character and interests? To being tolerant and kind?

I work with some incredibly entitled people who can’t cope with real life because they’ve been out on a pedestal growing up.

I see overwhelmed children with no boundaries on a regular basis. They’re meant to be the ones working in the hospitals and running society when we’re aged? We’re screwed.

@Getir we are absolutely not saying "how easy it is". Teaching manners, consideration and how to behave in public is a long long slog of repeated and repeated teaching, warning, modelling, following through on consequences for years to be able to turn out children who know what's expected and are a pleasure to have as company. And hopefully become decent, thoughtful adults.

Easy is the opposite. Easy is letting them run feral and play games at top volume to avoid dealing with any resistance from them to behave. Avoiding parenting.

@Cuppasoupmonster Then just don’t look. It’s not your problem to worry about.

As a single parent I interact with my child every day, all day. Sometimes when I meet with another adult I just wanna have some adult conversation bot about Dan TDM or bloody roblox!!!! Mine is older now so conversation usually consists of grunting or speaking for ages about stuff I have no idea about 😅😅

That'd presumptuous, now he is older my boy takes his switch, he yaps for a bit the goes plays, as a single Mum I don't often get time to spend with other adults. I work from home so I spend time and speak to him everyday about all sorts of things. But because I want to yap and catch up without talking about roboox I'm a shit parent? Hardly!!! In fact have been stopped by strangers to tell me how nice and polite my boy is

Actually no, not a nightmare child alert. child.

Hourbyhour is absolutely right. There is a tendency for older people to forget the shittier moments of parenting young children. Many do look back through rose coloured glasses. They’d do well to think about it all a bit more honestly.

There is nothing new in people criticising other people’s parenting. It’s that screens have become the new symbol of ‘parental neglect’ - ludicrous.

It’s only ever about putting someone down to make themselves feel superior. Trouble is the feeling doesn’t last long does it? Because it’s all so inauthentic.

This is very true.

My mum is very judgmental and bangs on about how we ‘never had screen time’. I had to remind her that we watched The Little Mermaid so much she had to buy a second VHS tape because we wore the first one out!

Also YY to leaving kids in the car with crisps and pop while they went in for a drink. And many other weird 80’s punishments like fairy liquid on our tongues if we swore. And she has the nerve to tell me I shouldn’t tell DD off so much 🙄

Agreed. Indulging a toddler and inconveniencing everyone else. Selfish behaviour.

‘I personally think there are so many old bags in this country’

What happened in your life to make you so sexist and ageist? Dreadful phrase to use, however upset you are. Makes you no better than those who have hit a nerve with you.