What is going on with parenting these days?

[whocaresaboutbeingpopular]

Ok, so as my name change suggests I am aware this won’t be popular. My children are almost adults, youngest is 17 this year.

me and OH are away this weekend, we went to a place that to be fair we were aware would be full of kids; but we didn’t think that would matter as we don’t dislike having children around, however, since when did it become a thing to….

put your kids in front of a screen when they are having a meal? Not to mention having full volume of Peppa Fucking Pig?

let your kids shriek at high pitch continuously?

let your 18 month old walk themselves down the stairs despite a massive queue of people behind t? Ffs pick them up!

yes, no doubt I sound a right miserable bastard, but come on - is this how people are raising their kids these day? Bring on the entitled generation.

What is going on with dog ownership these days?!

I have dc similar age to the OP, and I think there are actually probably a similar number of good / bad / indifferent parents than there ever were! There has been a positive move away from harmful parenting behaviour and especially smacking.. I’ve seen a real shift away from that being socially acceptable to being illegal in parts of the UK. On the flip side, there’s probably an increasing minority who are over permissive. However, most are still somewhere in the middle - as in any generation - doing the best they can.
And I really don’t care if kids - or adults for that matter - use tablets in restaurants, so long as they use headphones / silent mode.

YANBU, I agree completely.

There are certain settings where it's ok to indulge your child. Some you should not, because to do so means every other person there also has to indulge your child, and - Newsflash! - nobody cares about your child.

All those lazy dog owners. Dogs are far too entitled these days.

Yes, YABU. Children are people too and they're not yet adults. Stop going to places you know will be full of children since you don't like being around them. There, problem solved and I just saved you time from having to complain online about kids being kids in public places where they're allowed and welcomed.

@Getir no worries, pretty sure I have a captive audience where I live.

Yes it's awful, people using tablets to keep their kids quiet in a cafe, for the benefit of other people. What next... screens on aeroplanes!

Toddlers on stairs! Disgusting. Keep them in doors until they know how to behave.

I can't believe some people are thick enough to believe their own young children were perfect.

It's very entitled to go somewhere where young children are and expect them to behave like adults.

I have to say I was so surprised on our last few family holidays to see the number of children sitting (even in high chairs) with screens on and no interaction with parents over meal times. And this was every day through out the holiday.

I know it’s hard work to entertain toddlers or keep going child friendly conversations and engage them through out meal times but the sheer number really surprised me.
And whilst it made for a quiet dining room (especially those families where parents had phones too) - it does make me wonder and worry about the social and communication skills of the next generation

Because even the sight of children is annoying enough to some people. Add in a screen and the pearl clutching goes to such dizzying heights they are all in a tizzy and cannot relax and enjoy their meal due to the disapproval oozing out of every pore taking up all their attention. You know, a wee activity in their handbag to calm themselves down might help. Or a tablet with a wee soothing app.

The kid on Peppa Pig full volume at the restaurant will become the adult playing Candy Crush (?) on ear splitting volume on the bus, which is what I had to endure today.
If a screen is the answer to everything (NB. I'm not saying they don't have their place) we'll become a nation of beings tuned in to our little worlds but zoned out to the feelings of anyone else.

Completely agree with you OP. People with children seem to think the world revolves around their children.

Well done OP. You've played a blinder. My new hero!

Screens WERE a thing fifteen years ago. We certainly had an iPad more than a decade ago. I used to roll my eyes at parents with loud iPads even then.

so no, not that much had changed.

Why are you comparing children to adults? Children are not mini adults - they are not fully developed and are still learning about the world and social skills.

Presumably those adults are already fully developed socially and their social and communication skills are as good as they are going to be, so it’s up to them if they want to be on their phones, and also presumably they don’t play cartoons at full volume without headphones.

I think there are 2 different issues at play here

It seems from most peoples comments that the issue isn't an iPad as to be fair it's basically the equivalent of a colouring book/game etc. actually it's the issue of when they are being played out loud of which I agree. DS can play or watch but without sound.

Then there is the issue of parents can't win because of their child makes any sound at all they are not being brought up properly but should a parent try and do anything at all to mitigate this they are then called lazy....

Huh? I have teens and they know this would be totally unacceptable. They would never dream of getting their phone out if we were out for a meal in a restaurant.

And do you know why? Because they were never given a screen in a restaurant when they were toddlers. So they’ve grown up learning how to sit nicely and talk and eat together. They’ve never had a tantrum about not having a screen in a restaurant because it’s never even been on their radar.

They’ve equally never got up and run around a restaurant shrieking - because they knew it wasn’t allowed.

And like @SpideyCraw ,when my DS was really small we would avoid certain types of restaurants because I knew sitting still for a long time would be a challenge for him. As he got older and better at it we did it more often, with rules in place so he knew what to do.

This stuff isn’t hard.

We do that too. And play puzzles in which the object is locating certain items. We play several games which have everyone interacting to when it is just us. We put all devices away while we actually eat.

If we are out in a larger family group it does get boring for DC. They always have 3 courses and coffee, it takes hours, the chat bores the life out of me even, so I cannot blame DC. The deal there is that a tablet and headphones are acceptable after dc finishes eating, so after the main course. So there is plenty of time for conversing, but then he can chill and do a fun thing for himself.

Have a perfect parenting badge.

Thanks, but I’m not saying I’m perfect - this is all basic manners.

Nowhere have I said children have to be quiet all the time. I have said somewhere I enjoyed seeing the kids’ excitement at seeing some of the fish and shouting look at that, what sort of fish is that, wow look at that one”etc. it was the high pitched shrieking and sheer inconsideration for others, with seemingly oblivious and indulgent parents that I found hard to believe.

You are absolutely saying you are perfect.

@whocaresaboutbeingpopular so how do you stop a happy shriek?

How do you as a parent anticipate your child will shriek?

Are you my next door neighbour with the constantly shrieking twins?

@Floofydawg don't think I'd cope with twins. Just one DS for me.

There is no way I can anticipate when he will shriek though. Although it tends to be when everyone else goes quiet and at the most awkward times so maybe it's a ploy for the toddler uprising

Mate, this is a wind up thread. My response was just an extension of that. No need to defend yourself to me