What is going on with parenting these days?

[whocaresaboutbeingpopular]

Ok, so as my name change suggests I am aware this won’t be popular. My children are almost adults, youngest is 17 this year.

me and OH are away this weekend, we went to a place that to be fair we were aware would be full of kids; but we didn’t think that would matter as we don’t dislike having children around, however, since when did it become a thing to….

put your kids in front of a screen when they are having a meal? Not to mention having full volume of Peppa Fucking Pig?

let your kids shriek at high pitch continuously?

let your 18 month old walk themselves down the stairs despite a massive queue of people behind t? Ffs pick them up!

yes, no doubt I sound a right miserable bastard, but come on - is this how people are raising their kids these day? Bring on the entitled generation.

So if the average person goes out for a meal say once a month and lets their child watch a tablet they are not parenting them? What about the other 23 hours of the day? The other 30 days of the month? You can’t really judge someone when you see one hour of their life. I sometimes do and I sometimes don’t, depends what mood my child is in. Sometimes I think I’m not wasting £50/£60 on a meal to keep saying sit down don’t do that etc etc I want to enjoy 😂 BUT I certainly wouldn’t judge anyone else as I don’t know their life or circumstances

Kids in pubs are my bugbear. And I don't mean sitting nicely and having a meal. I mean parents who take their kids down the pub for an afternoon out and then let them play their devices with the sound up because they're bored shitless. Or try and poke my dog repeatedly in the face like the toddler we encountered in the pub yesterday.

Lazy parenting. Take them to the park or something.

Completely and 100% agree with you OP.

Lazy and entitled parenting end of… you’ll get the ‘autism crew’ jumping on you but I have two children on the spectrum - my youngest has ASD and PAD. I would never dream of inflicting his noise on others - I wouldn’t allow him to use his iPad without headphones and just because your child has developmental or social medical diagnosis does NOT give you the green light to disregard discipline and consideration for others. Plus there’s the increase in the ‘chavs’ they were once a minority now they are everywhere - little asholes that grow up and have their own little asholes …. World has gone crazy

@MelaniesFlowers
I honestly don’t think it’s any other parents business to judge screen time with a kid. Judge having volume up yes. There is nothing inherently ‘wrong’ with screen time in restaurants and I think that is just middle class snobbery. It has zero bearing on whether there is good communication with parents and children. I have loads of fantastic chats with my DS, amazing really as he couldn’t talk most of his life, and he still doesn’t really talk to anyone else, but he’s getting there.

My DS with SN would stay at home in his room forever if he could. I know another parent who can’t get her son out of a buggy (he’s 12 now), as he won’t walk. The fact that I am in a restaurant with DS is such an achievement for both him and me that I am secretly quite proud every time we go out. The fact that we can even step in, spend time there and even go to a variety of places is pretty remarkable.

This thread is taking an awful turn and before I get jumped on my children do not have any form of device when sitting to a meal inside or outside the house.

Regarding children having manners and parents being PFB, that I certainly am not. If an occasion arose for e.g. my youngest dropped something and someone picked it up and passed it to him, they would expect him to say 'thank you' however he has selective mutism and is unable to speak in some situations. Of course I would thank them on his behalf but reading some of these comments, obviously some would just think I was 'that' parent who didn't teach her kid manners!

This isn't me jumping on any bandwagon but it is upsetting when people think my child is rude for something we are currently try and have him overcome.

Veeeeeeery judgmental…… are you ok? It sounds like everyone was minding their own business apart from you. Don’t go where there are families if they bother you so much or perhaps have a more engaging conversation next time so you won’t realize of what others are doing

I'm with you - very lazy parenting. And the volume thing is just bloody ignorant.

My kids LOVED meals out with us (probably because they were allowed a coke :) ) - no seriously, they loved meals out and definitely didn't need phones to keep them entertained, they wanted to be part of the grown up action! It's only since late teens that they've said no thanks and only if it's just dad and I - if their uncle/grandparents/cousins are there they still happily come along.

ps - every other kid doesn't have any form of social issues, I am so bored of this catch all excuse for bad behaviour. And frankly if your kid DOES have issues with being in a social setting that sets them off, perhaps it's better for them to keep them home until they can cope.

"sorry he's screeching and playing baby shark at full volume, he can't bear to be in crowds" is a shit excuse.

As slightly annoying as this sounds it’s absolutely not the fault of the pedestal Ian if they get run over on a pedestrians crossing. Those cars were going too fast. The light turning green doesn’t mean ‘go even if people are still crossing’

Families are every-fucking-where though - that's the issue. See my comment about pubs. There are hardly any adult only spaces any more.

Why are you spending your meal staring at another family?

People don’t know how to parent anymore. They have no consideration for anyone else. Sadly anyone can have children but many shouldn’t. Giving birth is the beginning teaching them to be polite and quiet is a lost skill. Many can’t even look after a dog yet persist in pumping out feral brats that are the next problems from crap parenting. Thank goodness I’m getting old and won’t be around to see the mess these parents are storing up for the future

I don’t think screens are the same as colouring books because they are normally engaged in some kind of game , which is more difficult to interrupt for conversation . In European countries children are mostly welcome in all restaurants and you don’t normally see them in front of screens all the time . I think it’s sad tbh . Today I have tried to engage with my grandchild with going for a walk , cooking , playing games , but because he is not “ himself” atm he has been allowed the iPad . He is a lovely lovely lad but trying to get conversation out of him is like pulling teeth.

Other people's children are just annoying so wonder why you went to a kiddie zone!

If the q was behind 18mth old maybe she didn't realise. Or maybe there would have been a massive tantrum if she didn't comply and frankly she was too broken to contemplate it

Yanbu! I went to a garden centre cafe last week. Two young children around 3 years of age running amok. The little boy was almost sent flying in the face by the elderly lady getting up from her chair. Dad walking behind texting on his phone without a clue in the world. Mum was chatting with her friend behind the dad. Also oblivious. The other kid was stood on a chair still in the cafe shouting daddy look at me. It was only when he reached the exit to check the kids were with him did he notice!

Why is everyone so defensive and saying the OP s judgemental . It’s an observation that’s all . I never used to let my children run about when eating meals , it’s dangerous . But a member if our family used to let their child wander and play about whilst hot food being carried about .it used to drive me crazy .

Totally agree - I can’t bare seeing screens everywhere all the time. Poor zombie kids and lazy parents.

????? There are plenty…… people need to let other people live and not be bothered by it. It is not normal to be so irritated about normal everyday things…..

It could also be said that places are not exclusively for children - I have explained why we went there many times in this thread. It’s fine to say live and let live, how about parents of children do the same by being considerate of others and not letting their children run amok expecting others to smile indulgently at them, and excuse bad behaviour because “they’re children”?

I haven’t rtft but I totally agree OP.

Parenting (is it called permissive parenting?) is nuts these days. I’ve got 3 and I have never, ever given my children a screen in a cafe or restaurant - they are expected to sit nicely and interact with the people they are with (at their own level of course). I’d be mortified if they were shrieking and would take them outside.

I would never expect them to sit there for hours though, that’s an unfair expectation. Meals out should be relatively quick until they are older and have got used to it.

I would never let my child hold other people up on the stairs either - I would have apologised and scooped them up in that situation. That teaches children to consider others from an early age.

But children don’t seem to be taught to respect and accommodate others now - everything they’re taught shows them that they’re kings and others should fall in around them.

I see no coincidence that there is a rise in the number of only children because their parents say they’d never have another child. I wouldn’t either if my kids behaved like that!

Well according to the smug arses of the thread it’s a clear indication of all round lazy parenting <bangs gavel>. And you know when the jury of MN has spoken, that judgement becomes FACT 😂

A lot of people don’t do family meal times and instead have tea for the kids and then the adults eat later.

My theory is this has resulted in children who can’t sit still at a table or participate in a conversation after food. I will admit we do allow colouring as waiting 45 minutes before even being served is boring for a small child.

I don't feel like I can judge other people's parenting. I was in a cafe once when my kids started fighting over a toy they'd just got. I looked up to find one of the little demons stabbing the other with a fork! I started shouting 'right, that's it, we're going home' (causing people to turn around and look), apologised to the people at the table next to us (one if whom was hastily moving away from the fork that had gone dangerously near their eye) and bundled my kids out the door almost forgetting to pay.
Maybe I should have brought the ipad 🤣

I think it’s the car crash effect…

I have mobility problems. The other day in M & S and three kids under 6 running around grabbing stuff,and shrieking. I got barged into twice nearly losing balance and there are the two mothers oblivious to the behavior of their little darlings. They were both busy taking selfies. And if you say anything you get a mouthful back. I pity poor teachers !