to want to use the bus like everyone else?

[toddlertamer20]

Hi,
I'm a single mum of 3, live in london and am now reliant on a wheelchair. I use buses to get around as I don't drive. I'm just getting so sick and tired of people being so incredibly selfish on buses. Wheelchairs have the priority, as obviously we cannot fold, however, as I have found out in the last few years, if there are prams on board and they refuse to fold...there is not much the driver can do as they can't be physically removed.
Most of the time, if a bus comes along with 2 prams, I will wait for the next bus. But sometimes I have to be somewhere and considering that is the only spot I am able to use on the bus, I feel like I should be allowed to use it. Everytime I insist that I need to get on it either a)end up with an argument eith the driver as he won't ask people to move or fold their prams....then a call to TFL who apologise and promise the educate the driver again.
b) I get let on but then the people with the pram won't move and argue with me, one of these times the driver was oblivious that I was mid gangway still and pulled off causing me to be thrown into a pole and break my arm. Or c) They just pull off and don't even attempt to let me on or put the ramp down.
Today again I ended up in a big argument. I needed to get a bus to get my youngest from school. The bus didn't come for ages. It eventually came but 3 buggies were on board, one without a child in it. The driver tried to tell me the next bus would be along in 20 minutes to which I said I couldn't. So he played the announcement asking the people to move their buggies. Then suddenly another passenger comes to the door and informs me that I need to wait as the people with the prams were there first. So I told him that actually by law I have priority, and I need to be on this bus. He then proceeds to tell me how I just need to wait and can't just get on and kick people off. At this point I was late already to get my child from school, so I did insist I got on. In the end I was allowed on bus got a mouthful off both the parents with the prams. I just don't know if it's me. I can understand it's frustrating if you're on a bus and suddenly you have to move or fold your pram up, but I cannot fold my wheelchair. It feels like everyone thinks I am in the wrong when I'm trying my best to just be a normal mother! Please tell me there aren't just selfish people put there...or is this honestly just me?
(by the way I do try to leave super early to make sure I have plenty of time to get there but then I am also waiting outside in the cold and I have problems with my joints so not a good combination)

And, by the way, buses don't have a section you can put your pushchair in any more so you'd be carrying it for the whole journey these days.

But I'm distracting from the OPs thread and OF COURSE people in wheelchairs should take priority.

Haha it's easy when you know how, you just have to juggle things about and find the easiest way. You only have to do it getting on and off the bus. Like I said we all had to do it so you are not going to convince me it's not possible, I did it 4 times a week

Erm, no. Charging parents who use a pram for their child is not the answer. Maybe fining people who refuse to move but imagine £10 a day for people who need to go the school run. Silly suggestion.

So where do you put the pushchair? I don't have small children any more so it doesn't apply to be but this used to cause me significant stress when I did.

To be honest I don't know why more people don't use carriers and slings and insist on using enormous buggies that are the size of a small car.

Blinkingheckythump even if the OP had applied for a nearer school for her child the admissions team would not be able to consider a caregiver’s needs. OP home some of the buggy / pram users get the message.

@RatedAce you can change your vote. Just click on the other one.

OP sorry to hear this. Some people are selfish. The bus driver should stop the bus and refuse to go until they fold the prams or get off.

YANBU. I think it's really unfair that buses put people in this position.

Its always 2 disadvantaged groups who have to fight for everything and in this scenario its pitting women with young children (because let's face it, it's almost always women) against disabled people.

Of course the pushchairs need to move, but bus companies should do better and make more space available so BOTH of these groups can use the service they're paying for. I imagine it's also difficult to wrangle a baby, another child, putting down a pushchair and any bags you may have, especially if that mother ALSO has to be somewhere which is why they chose thtlar bus. Not impossible in the same way it would be to not use the wheelchair (which of course is why they must have priority) but really hard. And 'well we always used to manage' isn't a reason to force others to now.

Yes!! People might have managed back in the day (people managed without cars and buses too but let’s not pull at that thread) but buses are so different now, absolutely no room to store folded pushchairs or shopping. Obviously the wheelchair still needs to take priority but physically there isn’t the space to do what you did back then. Plus people are so unhelpful now and wouldn’t offer to hold anything for you while you quickly did it. Or wouldn’t give w seat up so toddler could sit without being launched down the bus.

I hate getting in the bus with a pram for this reason. I don’t have one that folds because I have a health condition myself and folding / carrying isn’t possible. Of course people don’t know this as it’s not visible but I’ve been spat at before, called names and told “you be grateful your not disabled” … technically I am but ok.

Everyone saying to fold the pushchair. Mine does not easily fold, and is also not really a lot smaller once folded. Added to that if I have shopping in the basket and a baby to carry, it would be impossible to fold. Folding is just not feasible. Luckily I Dont need to take the bus often!

People will say you should have got one that folds easily if you choose to use buses

Tbh you don’t need to fold, just get off that’s what I did, wasn’t going to fold too much of a pain and I agree there is nowhere to store prams that are folded there’s barely any room to stand if all the seats are taken, I always got off in this situation.

Exactly. I bought a foldable one then couldn’t push it due to disability/ chronic pain post birth and ended up buying a very expensive alternative. However, I am one of very few and didn’t need to use a bus. Had I needed to use the bus, I’d have had to come up with a solution.

@Mardyface heres how I did it with a baby and toddler etc.

I had a stroller for use on buses as they are narrow (easier in shops and bus aisles) and fold with one hand and foot, and are light and can be pulled along by the handle when close like luggage. Toddler always on reins and I took a baby sling with me. I used a soft wrap type one while I could put on at home and would just hang loose like a top when baby not in it.

While waiting at the stop I would put down bags, loop toddler reins over the stroller handle or round my leg. Then put baby into sling. Then hold toddler reins in one hand and umbrella fold the stroller down. It had a clip to keep it closed.

when bus arrived I’d pick up bags using same hand as reins, pull along stroller with the other. Put stroller on floor while I pay for ticket.

sit toddler on seat, with bags. If there’s a luggage rack, put stroller in there. If not, put stroller on floor under my feet (stroller is handily the same width as two bus seats).

Hope that helps.

That's fine, but then be prepared to get off the bus if there is a wheelchair user waiting.

Exactly. Just get a pram that folds or use a sling and stop being so entitled?

@Blinkingheckythump

Nearly half the kids in the school I work at need to get the bus. There isn't a school within walking distance for them to go too.

What the hell? So I need to pay £10 to transport my baby on a journey that costs me £4? Plus, if you charge people to use the space, then they quite legitimately would refuse to move, given the high premium they have paid to use it.

I travel on public transport a lot with my baby. We use a small, foldaway buggy (it folds to briefcase size, it’s specifically for travelling with) - I have never been in a situation where I’ve had to fold it on public transport for a wheelchair, but I have folded it so another mother with a pram could get on. Our buses only allow two prams.

Obviously I would fold it up for a wheelchair user if I was in that situation, but charging me £10 per journey would be cost prohibitive - I currently buy an all day ticket for myself which costs £6, my kids go free. We get the bus to my daughters school, drop her off, then get another bus to my sons nursery, drop him off, then I get a bus to my work, and then I do the same in return. Your proposal would cost me £40 per day, 5 days per week, so £800 per month. I don’t drive and have no other option.

How many people do you think would actually pay?

The current system doesn't work, people fought for this spaces and now they are misused and those same people are excluded from their own spaces.

@Winterday1991

If there were not wheelchair spaces on busses would you have got that buggy?

I’d fold even if I had to pick up a sleeping child. Yanbu.

It wouldn't cost you any more if you did not use the space though would it?

People are already refusing to move. You already have a buggy that folds. Why is it so difficult to not use that space?

People should use fold-up Maclarens or similar.

I think people used to be more sensible about their choice of buggy. When my DC were little, if I was travelling by bus I took a cheap and cheerful umbrella-fold buggy which was very easy to fold.

I’m sorry. This sucks. People suck. I wish the drivers would do more to enforce it but they’re probably scared of aggro from unreasonable passengers.

Its not that easy if you have other stuff you need to carry too like shopping. That said when eldest was small we lived in the Netherlands and did everything by bike with panniers and a baby seat / with a sling. Much better infrastructure though not sure I’d chance It in the UK.