to want to use the bus like everyone else?

[toddlertamer20]

Hi,
I'm a single mum of 3, live in london and am now reliant on a wheelchair. I use buses to get around as I don't drive. I'm just getting so sick and tired of people being so incredibly selfish on buses. Wheelchairs have the priority, as obviously we cannot fold, however, as I have found out in the last few years, if there are prams on board and they refuse to fold...there is not much the driver can do as they can't be physically removed.
Most of the time, if a bus comes along with 2 prams, I will wait for the next bus. But sometimes I have to be somewhere and considering that is the only spot I am able to use on the bus, I feel like I should be allowed to use it. Everytime I insist that I need to get on it either a)end up with an argument eith the driver as he won't ask people to move or fold their prams....then a call to TFL who apologise and promise the educate the driver again.
b) I get let on but then the people with the pram won't move and argue with me, one of these times the driver was oblivious that I was mid gangway still and pulled off causing me to be thrown into a pole and break my arm. Or c) They just pull off and don't even attempt to let me on or put the ramp down.
Today again I ended up in a big argument. I needed to get a bus to get my youngest from school. The bus didn't come for ages. It eventually came but 3 buggies were on board, one without a child in it. The driver tried to tell me the next bus would be along in 20 minutes to which I said I couldn't. So he played the announcement asking the people to move their buggies. Then suddenly another passenger comes to the door and informs me that I need to wait as the people with the prams were there first. So I told him that actually by law I have priority, and I need to be on this bus. He then proceeds to tell me how I just need to wait and can't just get on and kick people off. At this point I was late already to get my child from school, so I did insist I got on. In the end I was allowed on bus got a mouthful off both the parents with the prams. I just don't know if it's me. I can understand it's frustrating if you're on a bus and suddenly you have to move or fold your pram up, but I cannot fold my wheelchair. It feels like everyone thinks I am in the wrong when I'm trying my best to just be a normal mother! Please tell me there aren't just selfish people put there...or is this honestly just me?
(by the way I do try to leave super early to make sure I have plenty of time to get there but then I am also waiting outside in the cold and I have problems with my joints so not a good combination)

It's obvious if you RTFT. And also from the fact that the spaces are wheelchair spaces, not spaces for first come first served.

"Do you actually have priority though? "

Yes she does. It's a wheelchair space. For wheelchairs . The space only exists because disabled people campaigned for it. Instead of moaning that you can't use it when a wheelchair user is in it, why not feel grateful that you ever get to use it because of the effort that other people made to get them. Not long ago you would have been folding up your buggy on every journey.

On the contrary. I don’t have a car now, and I didn’t have a car. I used buses all the time with my DC. The “rule” was you have to fold the pushchair before you get on board. I did it all the time -one child in pushchair, the other in a sling. You take the child out of the pushchair at the bus stop, fold it, get on the bus. It was nothing to do with being safe. You weren’t allowed on the bus otherwise. Pushchairs had to be folded.

Put a conductor on each bus.
They get to choose who gets in and who gets off if they refuse to behave.
They wear body worn cameras for everyone’s safety.
Just add the price of the additional staff onto the ticket prices.
People will pay for the safer and smoother journeys, or they will walk.

It sounds like you resent this wheelchair user for using the wheelchair space because you deem his journey to be not sufficiently wrong. It doesn't matter where he's going or why. If you don't want to have to get off for a wheelchair, don't go in the fucking wheelchair space.

Jesus the entitlement.

Marths • Today 19:08
Jesus the entitlement.

It’s disgusting. It’s like they are just trolling now.

@ElliF I think you only copied some of what I wrote. I understand what you’re trying to say but I think it’s unfair to say it’s arrogance and narcissism that drives people to buy bigger prams.

I also think there needs to be more awareness that the wheelchair users have priority. There are usually priority seats for non-wheelchair users for those who are unable to stand for various reasons. Drivers also need to make it clear that they will refuse to drive off unless people adhere to the bus policies. The more firm they are, the more people will have the information reinforced.

I’ve seen people even on trains avoiding eye contact because they don’t want to get up for a heavily pregnant woman etc. even though there are clear signs near certain seats. It’s fairly obvious people just ignore the signs.

I once stood up on the train to let a pregnant woman sit down and before the woman could get to my seat, someone slightly nearer to the seat quickly pushed past the pregnant woman and sat down instead. And then she proceeded to get a book out of her bag and just focused on her book.

Some people just have poor manners. So now I make sure I call the person over and get up and move once they are literally next to the seat to avoid others from pushing past. I’ve even seen people take up two seats on the train with their bag etc. on a crowded train which I believe is also the height of bad manners. They’re always looking away or out of the window or on their phone etc. as though they don’t know what they’re doing.

I got off the fucking bus… straight away, without hesitation. Should I have done it with a huge smile on my face and thanked him for the opportunity to spend more time waiting?!

But yes if I’m being completely honest, I did think it was a tiny bit lazy to be getting a bus to go barely a quarter of a mile in a motorised wheelchair on a dry, pleasant afternoon. With how bad the traffic was at the time (post 4pm rush hour, hence the buses all being full) he’d probably have got there quicker than the bus did.

I'd be filled with dread everytime I had to get a bus op in your position which is not fair. The thought of having to possibly battle to get a space on a bus would have me on hyperalert and make me not want to get a bus.
I get why now why Iv seen more wheelchair users with powered cycle attachments for commuting etc

Not everyone drives or lives local enough to shops. Also, not everyone likes cheap fold aways, especially in winter months. If the space is empty it can be used by anyone and if a wheelchair uses needs it then there is space for both actually.

It’s no lazier to sit on a motorised bus than it is to sit on a motorised scooter. If someone is choosing to get a bus, there is probably a reason. Yesterday I walked past someone who was completely stranded because their motorised scooter ran out of batteries on the middle of the pavement.

That’s a good point, and it hadn’t occurred to me. I was just desperate to get home and breastfeed my baby (we’d been to hospital to get his tongue tie divided) and feed my toddler. It was way too far to pay for a taxi. I drive now so happily it’s not something I have to deal with anymore but that day, when I had to get off the bus I’d only just got on after waiting all that time, yep, I nearly cried.

I get it. I was transporting my baby by bus from 5 days post c section, there is no way I’d have been able to dismantle my pram and lift both parts of it onto the luggage store while holding my baby. Although I don’t drive, my partner does, when we bought our pram we didn’t anticipate having to use buses so it wasn’t even on my radar tbh. Luckily I’ve never had to dismantle it though.

Either way the pram user has made all their own choices, including the choice of pram they use, and still feels entitled to use the wheelchair space on a bus because they can’t take responsibility for the choices they have made and want the disabled person to give up their only space for them.

Its disgusting behaviour no matter how many excuses you make for it. A wheelchair space is for a wheelchair, not an entitled pram user having a hissy fit.

@CherLloydbyCherLloyd
That wasn’t meant to be directed at you. I just reread it and it comes across like I’m having a go at you specifically. My bad. It was a general statement about all the ... yes, but ... excuses people are coming up with to explain their abhorrent behaviour to those who use wheelchairs.

You seem really angry when I’ve literally never been in a situation where I’ve had to disassemble my own pushchair - I’d have struggled and done it if need be, but it’s never happened. However, given that mothers can’t drive for 6 weeks post c section, and elder children still need to attend school, there does need to be some understanding that other people - who are not in a wheelchair - may also need that space. Obviously the hope would be that someone else would help a mother in that situation though.

Thanks for clarifying. I’d either fold my buggy or get off personally. I get several buses a day most days and I’ve fortunately never been in this situation!

No problem. My poor use of the forum. I’d offer you some flowers but I can’t find the emoji function. The best I can do is just smile. :)

YANBU people should fold their pushchair when they see a Wheelchair.
England has better transport than we do in Northern Ireland. I live in a village and our bus doesn't have anywhere for wheelchairs or prams and has 4 steps. Apparently Ive got to email them 24 hours beforehand so they will put a bus on without stairs and has room for a wheelchair/pram.

But you now ARE allowed in the bus. Which means I don't have to pay £30 each way to get DS to hospital because I couldn't have folded a double buggy with two new babies in it, carried them both, plus DS's o2 tank and all the encumberments that 3 kids in nappies entails across 4 buses.

So, like everything Sleepless said basically.

Yes, I move or I step out of the way at the bus station as there's regularly wheelchair users on our route and I can't fold the double and keep hands on two toddlers with a bus driver who cba to wait a few minutes for me to do it safely despite a shocking punctuality record. But if drivers actually bothered to help, it would make everyone's life easier. And I include telling parents to shift out of the wheelchair space and not moving until they do

However, given that mothers can’t drive for 6 weeks post c section, and elder children still need to attend school, there does need to be some understanding that other people - who are not in a wheelchair - may also need that space.

No. No there does not.

For clarity: mothers in that position can use that space, but at the moment that it is needed by a wheelchair user, their need is irrelevant. There is no grey area or understanding whatsoever. End of.

Nobody bloody said they take the space OVER a wheelchair user. But they most certainly can use it if nobody actually needs the space for a wheelchair. Like on the four plus buses I take every single working day, on which I’ve NEVER seen a single wheelchair.

If you don't like a cheap foldaway and won't fold your existing buggy, then you have to accept the risk that you may be required to leave the bus if a wheelchair user needs the space. There isn't necessarily space for both - it depends on the bus, the type of wheelchair and, sometimes, the nature of the user's disability.