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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To thing the worlds gone dog mad...

270 replies

mrspotatohead21 · 10/02/2023 22:27

I just feel people put dogs on too much of a pedestal. I like dogs, but I just think people almost see them than more than they are, which is, let's be honest, an animal.

I understand how they can be an elderly persons only companion, can fit well into the right family, can help people in need in many ways I do, but just some examples.

I work in a cafe. When we say dog friendly area is outside we get looked at like we've said they can't bring their child in.

I live with my mum and my daughter who's 16 months. She bought a sprocker puppy, he's big, he's massively energetic and he play bites.
He bit her and made her cry, then knocked her over and jumped on her. She's heavier than him. When I asked her to put him behind the gate she said "he's only a baby" and "this is his home, it's not (my daughters) home) every time he's a little bugger she just says "he's only a baby"

People who will fully argue with that they they thing dogs are equally worth the same as children, like there is some comparison. I'm sorry but my own flesh and blood who literally grew in my is never a comparison to a dog?

I just don't go gooey over them. I like a cute dog as much as the next but I'd never seem them or put the trust in them around children like some people do, and recent news of a dog sadly killing a little girl doesn't seem to make people think twice even it's just "my dog would never do that"

AIBU to have that opinion?

OP posts:
Charminginjohnlewis · 11/02/2023 05:51

The fact that the world’s gone dog mad isn’t your problem here.

You talk about this particular dog going for your child’s face.
It’s an accident waiting to happen.
You and your children need somewhere safe to live.
You also mention £500 a month so sounds like you need help re benefits too.
An urgent appointment with Citizens Advice or a local benefit advice charity is your first step.

If you take emergency accommodation then you are at least on the radar when something better comes up.

Your mother is never going to be much use to you.

boboshmobo · 11/02/2023 06:16

I love dogs but why are they allowed in shops now ffs !

I work in a high street shop that doesn't allow them and I often ask people to take them outside and they look at me like I've drowned said dog !

Who is going to pay if Fido pees all over those clothes ??

It's madness!!

echt · 11/02/2023 06:21

YABVVVVU

The world has not gone dog mad. You have a problem with your DM and her dog.

SlaveToTheVibe · 11/02/2023 06:22

mrspotatohead21 · 10/02/2023 22:47

@CherLloydbyCherLloyd I completely understand and you sound like very responsible and knowledgeable dog owners. The type of people I'm not referring to in this post actually!
I asked mum to consider not getting a dog while we were staying here, or until my daughter was older whichever comes first. I wouldn't mind but she's had him since October and only walked him once! I said if she got him I couldn't help as I work and have both DC here. She's out all day when I'm not working so I separate them then which is fine, but when she's home on an evening (and usually drunk) she insists that the dog has to be in the living room with us. I'm sure he is a nice natured dog as are most spaniels but he is massive for his age and very boisterous and my daughter is very petite for her age. I honestly feel like he could draw blood and mum would say "he's only a baby" yet my daughter could say spill something and she's tell her off when she is actually a real human baby!

I might have to look into emergency accommodation which sounds extreme for a dog but we can't carry on like this. X

Is this a joke? The dog hasn’t been walked for months, are you sure?????

That’s appalling and I’m amazed he’s not lost his shit by now. My terrier can go max two days and she gets all skittish and prancy.

I do love my dog but she’s my third and I’m not getting any more.

ElizaGumpyLeg · 11/02/2023 06:25

YABU to take one bad situation and equate it to everyone with dogs. People are taking their dogs more places - good. In the past (earlier 20th century) people did the same before it was decided everything had to be 100% sanitised.

I saw some girl with a support pug in the supermarket the other day and I thought it was wonderful.

Led9519 · 11/02/2023 06:27

Sprockers are lovely but full on around children and they need to be walked… loads. Sounds like a weird power play or something! I’d keep it away from toddler. Could very easily end in an accident.

ZED55JAX0 · 11/02/2023 06:33

I have two dogs baby and children yanbu my dogs love children but they are still just dogs!
I don’t allow mine free roam they sleep in kitchen utility and allowed only in certain rooms not in play room not upstairs at all
never unsupervised even though I don’t think they’d do anything I’d still not chanch it
as at end of the day they are still animals!! I teach my children as well as the dogs what’s acceptable or not and don’t allow the baby and dogs close as there’s no reason to in my opinion

StarsSand · 11/02/2023 06:34

mrspotatohead21 · 10/02/2023 22:47

@CherLloydbyCherLloyd I completely understand and you sound like very responsible and knowledgeable dog owners. The type of people I'm not referring to in this post actually!
I asked mum to consider not getting a dog while we were staying here, or until my daughter was older whichever comes first. I wouldn't mind but she's had him since October and only walked him once! I said if she got him I couldn't help as I work and have both DC here. She's out all day when I'm not working so I separate them then which is fine, but when she's home on an evening (and usually drunk) she insists that the dog has to be in the living room with us. I'm sure he is a nice natured dog as are most spaniels but he is massive for his age and very boisterous and my daughter is very petite for her age. I honestly feel like he could draw blood and mum would say "he's only a baby" yet my daughter could say spill something and she's tell her off when she is actually a real human baby!

I might have to look into emergency accommodation which sounds extreme for a dog but we can't carry on like this. X

It sounds like your mother resents housing you TBH. Imagine saying it's not your DC's home and the dog has more rights.

What a difficult situation, I'm sorry OP.

BubziOwl · 11/02/2023 06:52

Your mum sounds like a rubbish dog owner and a rubbish grandma. Anyone who puts their grandchild's safety at risk because they feel they have some sort of "right" to own a dog is a nutcase.

thegrandolddukeofpork · 11/02/2023 06:54

echt · 11/02/2023 06:21

YABVVVVU

The world has not gone dog mad. You have a problem with your DM and her dog.

Exactly this! Any excuse for a dog owner bashing thread though 😀

VestaTilley · 11/02/2023 06:57

YANBU. I love dogs but many people are idiotic over them. We were on a walk recently with a bag of pastries in the bottom of the buggy- a spaniel ran up and nicked them! The owners ran up to him, had the decency to apologise and look embarrassed, but didn’t offer us any money for them.

Too many people got dogs in lockdown, don’t know how to handle them or train them properly and let them poo where they shouldn’t. A complete pain.

VestaTilley · 11/02/2023 06:58

Sorry, I realise that reads like we took some pastries for a walk 😂

Logicalreasoning · 11/02/2023 07:13

I agree, I absolutely love dogs, but that’s just it they are dogs. Tbf I prefer the dog To my dc sometimEs because she actually listens to me. Heck id rather speNd timE with her over people, She’s a great companion, she is part of the family and we will for sure miss her when she’s gone but this insane trend of dressing dogs up, pushing them in special pushchairs is absolutely nuts. I knoW pEoplE that spend thousands on dog accessories, clothes etc... I just don’t get it...

KangarooKenny · 11/02/2023 07:19

I don’t have a problem with dog prams. One person I know has a dog who is paralysed, and he loves going out for a nosey and getting a fuss.
Another has a daschund who can’t walk as far as the owner wants to, but she doesn’t want to leave him home either.
Another one had a very elderly dog and a younger one, they didnt want to leave the older one alone while they took the other out.

TicketBoo23 · 11/02/2023 07:20

You have a mother problem,not a dog problem.per se.

Unfortunately while she should be able to offer you a decent place to stay, while you escape an abusive relationship, she cannot - due to get character & behaviour.

TicketBoo23 · 11/02/2023 07:22

*her

TicketBoo23 · 11/02/2023 07:22

BubziOwl · 11/02/2023 06:52

Your mum sounds like a rubbish dog owner and a rubbish grandma. Anyone who puts their grandchild's safety at risk because they feel they have some sort of "right" to own a dog is a nutcase.

This.

Skodacool · 11/02/2023 07:22

BloomingXmas · 10/02/2023 22:46

is the dog not crate trained? If your mum can’t control him now and is not training him, then how is he ever going to learn appropriate behaviour?

This sounds like the problem. Your mum sounds totally ignorant about socialising the dog. Do not leave your child alone with it!

Euchariahere · 11/02/2023 07:24

Humans are just animals too you know

Humans are more dangerous to other humans than dogs are.

TicketBoo23 · 11/02/2023 07:25

she's had him since October and only walked him once!

She shouldn't have a dog regardless of the child safety aspect.

....But when she's home on an evening (and usually drunk)

Your kids are seeing that then.

She's not a suitable person to stay with; I'm sorry you have a shit Mum as well as a shit ex partner.

BeeDavis · 11/02/2023 07:33

MelaniesFlowers · 10/02/2023 22:43

YANBU. People are unhealthily obsessed with their dogs and treat them as children. They’re just pets.

It’s indicative that something else is wrong and/or missing in their life.

Some people are unhealthily obsessed with their children. What’s the difference?

PennyFarthings · 11/02/2023 07:34

OP I'm a dog owner and admittedly fell head over heels for my dog. I never a dog person, didn't expect it and it's all very embarrassing.
But she's a dog, and I've put massive amounts of training and effort in to make sure she's as well behaved as possible and I don't expect anyone else to love her lol I do.
Your mum sounds very difficult though, and similar to mine. I had ad to stay with my parents temporarily when leaving a marriage and lasted 3 weeks. They treated me horribly.

Do you have any options, renting etc? Sounds like, particularly the drinking, must be hard on you. I wish you luck OP In finding your next home.

Fifi00 · 11/02/2023 07:35

I generally don't like dogs I was bitten when I was around 3 years old. So that's my first memory, I hate how many dogs are off lead. I was walking with a vulnerable patient on hospital grounds ! A dog was off lead and jumping up , the owner was reluctant to put it on lead. I hate how some dog owners think it's ok for their dog to jump up on everyone it's not ! They can be large animals with muddy paws and it's uncomfortable.

tiredwardsister · 11/02/2023 07:35

I own two dogs have been round dogs all my life and I totally agree with you OP. I do not take my very well behaved dogs everywhere they never go to cafes pubs shops etc partly because I don’t believe they want to go to any of those places and partly because I don’t like dogs in those places. I leave my dogs at home when I go to out to cafes shops etc and they are perfectly happy. I do not under any circumstances believe my dogs or any other dogs are more important than a child/adult. The term I loath the most is “fur babies” I just want to scream “they are not fur babies they are dogs” treat then like dogs and they’ll behave like dogs. Treating them like humans and anthropomorphise them and they develop endless issues and behavioural problems which is what we now see so much of. That’s my rant over for the day.
😅

TicketBoo23 · 11/02/2023 07:42

If your Mum is drinking enough to get drunk most evenings (?) she seems to have issues. Those issues also seen to be manifesting themselves through the dog situation.

She probably thinks/in noes your stay at her home will be temporary and then she'll be back on her own. I presume she lives alone because you don't seem to mention anyone else. The dog has been acquired as her companion, support animal etc She in of es she'll be alone with only it sooner or later. And thats probably why she's giving it such high priority. You're temporary (in so far as living together & being in close proximity the time) it's permanent. She'll rely on it more than you.

No excuse for the lack of safety etc for your young child while you're there, but maybe that's how her (not well adjusted) mind is thinking.