To thing the worlds gone dog mad...

[mrspotatohead21]

I just feel people put dogs on too much of a pedestal. I like dogs, but I just think people almost see them than more than they are, which is, let's be honest, an animal.

I understand how they can be an elderly persons only companion, can fit well into the right family, can help people in need in many ways I do, but just some examples.

I work in a cafe. When we say dog friendly area is outside we get looked at like we've said they can't bring their child in.

I live with my mum and my daughter who's 16 months. She bought a sprocker puppy, he's big, he's massively energetic and he play bites.
He bit her and made her cry, then knocked her over and jumped on her. She's heavier than him. When I asked her to put him behind the gate she said "he's only a baby" and "this is his home, it's not (my daughters) home) every time he's a little bugger she just says "he's only a baby"

People who will fully argue with that they they thing dogs are equally worth the same as children, like there is some comparison. I'm sorry but my own flesh and blood who literally grew in my is never a comparison to a dog?

I just don't go gooey over them. I like a cute dog as much as the next but I'd never seem them or put the trust in them around children like some people do, and recent news of a dog sadly killing a little girl doesn't seem to make people think twice even it's just "my dog would never do that"

AIBU to have that opinion?

More important to you maybe, but not more important in general.
OP’s child is a human and your dog is a dog.

Not what I'm asking but ok

I love my dog, dogs are amazing, but they can also be annoying and potentially dangerous, most dog owners get that. If my puppy was play biting visitors he'd be kept gated in the kitchen (and properly socialized at an appropriate time)

He has a crate and will go in it, happily actually. But she refuses to put him in it on an evening when I'm trying to bath, control and settle 2 kids. He annoys my eldest but he's 6 so he just shouts get down and eventually he gets the message but obviously my baby can't do that.

This is my worry. She is putting zero effort into training him, and just allows him to do what he wants as "he's a baby"

Sanity mostly prevails on this thread, praise be. I think all the crazed dog obsessives are over on the other thread berating a poster for not showing sufficient empathy to her mother who has lost her shit over her dog to the point of it taking over her life.

@CherLloydbyCherLloyd it's definitely not malicious and he doesn't growl or snarl so maybe I would say mouthing? It's what puppies do when you try to stroke them if you know what I mean? But now he's got adult teeth and a stronger jaw. He's left teeth marks on me before and it can bloody hurt! but mums doing no research into how to stop it. I've tried ignoring and stopping stroking him if he does it, saying no, sitting on my hands.. I don't know.
We have the living room with a baby gate and then the hallway and kitchen all connected so he could easily have the hallway and kitchen while we stay in living room which works well in the day but mum just insists on him being with us when she's home.

@theleafandnotthetree at least it isn't just me! Might have to find that thread! X

Yabu. Dogs have basically been bred to be like toddlers. For many they are part of the family.

YA most definitely NBU! I think that there is far, far more silliness around dog ownership now than has ever been.

In the past, people who called their dog a "fur baby" and treated it as if it were their child would have been thought of as a bit ridiculous and slightly unhinged - rather like the character in All Creatures Great and Small who had a dog called Tricky Woo. She was laughed at by the vets in private, as she was so obviously deluded. But nowadays, such anthropomorphism seems almost the norm. It's bizarre!

Apart from anything else, this 'fur baby', coat wearing nonsense is deeply undignified for the dog. They are animals like us but a separate species with their own ways of being in the world, their own needs etc. The level of anthropomorphism is crazy and says more about us than the dogs.

We obviously wrote at the same time! With the same thoughts!

Has anyone noticed attitude to dogs in other countries is different than over here also? Ex in laws lived in Cyprus and dogs roam round like cats do here. In fact their dog was a stray that ended up on their doorstep. She was pregnant and they had them aborted as they knew people wouldn't be interested over there as they are here, obviously among other reasons (she was a tiny dog and they weren't sure what dog she'd bred with and if it would be dangerous etc)

I kind of think that your mum is not unreasonable in getting a dog in her own home, especially since she has chosen a breed not known for aggression/strength, although obviously your mums dog is effectively a mongrel, so may not show the characteristics of either of the breeds it’s crossed from.

Not walking the dog is not on, and the dog is most likely acting out because it’s under stimulated. We have a working breed dog and she’s a mess if she misses even one walk - she normally gets three per day. So that’s definitely contributing to the behaviour.

It’s definitely unreasonable to expect the dog to be put away all day and all evening too - that is likely to make the dog more boisterous. Dogs are pack animals. Instead, the dog needs to become a safe member of the family.

I don’t think size of the dog or child are really relevant - my dog is far larger than my son (she’s a border collie), and our old dog was 40kg and was around my 2nd centile daughter from birth. He (the dog!) was a German shepherd collie cross, so boisterous and high energy. But we managed the situation.

A 6 month old dog IS a baby, in dog terms - the first two years of a dog are really tough, constant training, honestly my dog was more work than a baby for the first two years - she’s 4 now and only in the past year or so is she becoming less stressful to own. But that was with intensive training to make our dog exactly how we want her to be, which doesn’t sound like your mum is doing?

You are right in general, the world has gone a bit dog mad. People don’t seem to see that dogs, whilst often beloved of humans (which is great) are not themselves humans. Children are humans as much as adults are - they are not pets or hobbies but humans in their own right.

Uour specific circumstances sound more worrying though. Living with your Mum who can’t control her dog. It doesn’t sound like you lack any kind of choice in the immediate term but it's sad your mum isn't more supportive. I hope you're able to move out soon.

Oh and I’m not defending your mum at all - she needs to get her dog trained. I just don’t think locking it away all evening is the way to keep your daughter safe here.

I agree with you OP. I cringe at the word
'Furbaby'.

I would never leave my dog alone with little children. Because they might hurt my dog. Which would be bad enough but if my dog tried to protect himself, everyone would blame my dog for any injuries rather than the child.

@CherLloydbyCherLloyd I understand what you're saying. I know he is a young dog and I'd get if she was saying to me "have patience he's a baby" if she was trying with him but to me her saying "he's a baby" just reads to me that it's her excuse to let him behave how he wants without any effort to rectify it.
She said she would walk him when we got him, she never has. Hasn't tried to even teach him to "sit". It's definitely contributing to how he is because he's under stimulated. Both his parents are working spaniels I believe. If she was spending her afternoons out with him and then asked us to bear with his behaviour that's one thing, but she works on the morning, goes out every afternoon with friends and then comes home and expects him to behave on an evening.

@CherLloydbyCherLloyd ps I do apologise I feel like I just want on a rant to you then about my mum 😂🤦🏼‍♀️

I know two women who have their own child and a dog and consider them equivalent. I find it bizarre but that's up to them.
I have another friend who cannot understand that her dog is not allowed certain places like cafes and taxis. She takes it really personally that she can't take the dog in as if the cafe owners should know that HER dog would never jump up, bark, soil etc in the cafe. Cannot comprehend that people would have valid reasons for not allowing dogs in.

All of which is to say YANBU and best of luck finding suitable accomodation for you and your kids. You're doing the right thing, I'm sorry your mum is making this hard time more difficult.

@CherLloydbyCherLloyd no locking him away isn't the answer to the problem I agree.

@MarshaMelrose I agree x

Don’t worry about it - I get the frustration. My dog is also from working lines and they need way more stimulation than pet lines do. Maybe, you might get through to your mum more if you focus on the needs of her dog rather than you and your daughter?

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing no she isn't supportive at all. She genuinely would prefer me and the children to go back to my ex and she knows what he did and what the children heard and saw. This is the "home" she keeps referring that me and my daughter should go back to. I'm pretty sure she has a drink problem at the moment.

Your issue here is not the dog