Being mistaken for the PA

[BingBoings]

Twice this week I have been in email chains, where I have been asked to supply dates for a meeting.

The reason for this has in both cases, I assume, is that I am the only female name in the thread.

Both situations have seen large numbers of clients and colleagues copied in on emails where… I am asked if I can help give times when my male colleagues are free. I am usually senior to them.

Am I the only person this happens to? I find it half hilarious, and half embarrassing… A few months ago I was asked in a meeting if I could do coffees when I walked in…

i have no issue with managing my own diary nor is there any issue with being a PA… it’s more that I don’t see men having this issue…!

Happens all the time. I have been at the same level or more senior and am have often been expected to do similar things, like take minutes or other admin tasks. It's quite disgusting 😐

I'm a PA in a law firm - I work for a partner and judge. I often find myself dismissed as non-important and not worthy of anyone's time by higher up men and women alike. My boss is pretty quick in putting people in their place about this and often tells people he couldn't do what he does without me.

His one advice to trainees is never p* off the admin/secretaries or Pa's, they can make your life easy, or hell so treat them with the respect they deserve.
We may not be the ones doing the big jobs or bringing in the money, but we work bloody hard to make sure the ones whose job that is, are able to do it!

As someone up thread said...mansplaining is still rife.

I’m a hospital consultant and very often people assume I’m a nurse, and will direct their attention/questions to the man with me, who might be the nurse or who might be a medical student. Despite me clearly introducing myself and my role.

Every Christmas, I take my team out for dinner and drinks. One year, this consisted of a group of 15 or 16, with one man and all the rest being female. I was sitting near the man. At one stage, an acquaintance of his came over to say hello to him and in the course of the conversation said “so these are all your staff you’re bringing out tonight?” to him. Quick as s flash he replied “no, I’m one of the ones being brought out, she’s the boss, she’s picking up the bill”. The other guy could not hide his astonishment. At the time I was in my very early 30s and one of the youngest people at the table.

I’m a doctor, who looks fairly young ish, but I’m actually mid 30s. I’m a consultant so the most senior on the team. Commonly when I do ward rounds, the patients will look to my male junior colleagues (sometimes even medical students!) and direct their questions there. I’ve been mistaken for a medical student’s secretary. Despite introducing myself as ‘Dr CupEmpty’ and my role, often in clinic people refer to me as nurse. After I’ve spent half an hour discussing their surgery that I will perform. It’s bonkers. (To be clear no offence is taken and I vastly respect my nursing colleagues, it’s more the fact that the public still have an assumption that a women can’t be a doctor)

Haha cross posted with @sammylady37 !

Many similar experiences!

No it's not. It probably stems from women being sent back to the home after the second world war. And the ensuing assumption that women will stay home to look after their children. Women then lost status in the workplace and lost career and training opportunities.
Slowly changing now (but there is no explanation for it changing so slowly except men refusing to lose their stranglehold).

Has happened to me on more than one occasion. Based in a sales office where I was the only female I was referred to regularly as the office junior - I was actually the area manager and was late 30s at the time 😫

My thoughts entirely. This one has form though.

There are a couple of examples on this thread where women in senior positions have been asked to do something and they've just done it and then seem to have been smug/pleased when the men realise and look a bit embarrassed.

Personally I would never just do thing they asked, I can't believe @VeronicaFranklin actually went to the shop! Surely a much better response would either be to stop for a few seconds, a quiet pause, and then say 'mmm what did you say' and get thrn to repeat it or just look 'down' at them and walk off! At the end of the day the guy got what he wanted, a woman doing what he asked! I don't think men give a flying and whilst might have been a bit sheepish would have lived in fairly rapidly but done it again. They weren't called out, they got away with it and hit what they wanted! Sorry but I think it's a rather pathetic, childish and unprofessional response to do something and delay your meeting!

No, I don't suffer from this. Perhaps because I'm in my 60s and still working in a very senior role. To be fair it didn't happen much in my 20s except when I was no longer the most junior member of the team in a male dominated environment and was asked to take a note I said "yes, of course, we can take turns, we need a little system". Final note: it was agreed the team would rotate as notetaker, at the next meeting John Smith will be note-taker.

Nowadays if it's a formal meeting, tea and coffee will be pre-ordered. If it's small and/or informal, I have no problem making tea for people with me, gives me a minute to have a wee usually ☺️

I've always felt so privileged and lucky to have been successful in the work place, I've either not noticed, not shown offence or provided a neutral solution. Being a woman didn't stop me being successful. Nobody ever assumed I was a secretary or admin.

I couldn't disagree more. The very senior people are more entitled at being listened to, acknowledged and looked after. When I say very senior I mean C suite Managing partners etc. This romantic notion that power is benevolent is not quite true.

I don't understand this. Especially in emails , don't you have your name, position etc in your signature

Sound advice. A good PA is gold. It's why it is baffling that so many people assume it is a job anyone (at least female) can do. I'd be awful at it.

It happens to me all the time, I’m in a fairly senior technical role in a male dominated industry. I also think that if you answer the front door or greet visitors (we don’t have a dedicated receptionist) they assume you must be admin staff.

I think in big email chains signatures can dropoff

It happened to me quite a bit in my old industry.
We'd arrive for meetings and people would assume I'm the PA for my more junior male colleague.

He used to enjoy telling them I was in charge today.

I used to work quite a lot with accountants and legal and they were the worst by far.
Old white men assuming I was there to make the tea. One tried to send me out to get lunch.

It doesn't happen now as my workforce is predominantly women and the discussion about who is more senior etc almost never happens because we don't need to know.

Weirdly I’ve had it from very young men of a certain demographic. I’ve been asked “when will the solicitor will get here” and have I to explain I am the solicitor! I think because they’ve not come into contact with one before they think that a solicitor will be a gray haired elderly man in a suit with a watch chain!

This is why I put my job title on my emails, even though my company's policy is not to.

This thread is a eye-opening insight into internalised misogyny.

And just plain old misogyny of course

Why did you though ? Why didn't you say that of you did that it would hold the meeting up?

DH's job is very typically male-dominated and when a female comes along, males (often older males in their 50s/60s onwards) balk at the fact a female is in charge of their lives.

Why don't you remind them it's their turn. Seems very martyrish to me.