Being mistaken for the PA

[BingBoings]

Twice this week I have been in email chains, where I have been asked to supply dates for a meeting.

The reason for this has in both cases, I assume, is that I am the only female name in the thread.

Both situations have seen large numbers of clients and colleagues copied in on emails where… I am asked if I can help give times when my male colleagues are free. I am usually senior to them.

Am I the only person this happens to? I find it half hilarious, and half embarrassing… A few months ago I was asked in a meeting if I could do coffees when I walked in…

i have no issue with managing my own diary nor is there any issue with being a PA… it’s more that I don’t see men having this issue…!

Fucking hell.

I remember early in my career the only female senior manager in the business told me never to offer to make drinks or take minutes (unless it was my turn)

I now give the same advice to junior members of staff. We've come along way in the past 20 years but not far enough.

@VeronicaFranklin

did they apologise? Or did everyone pretend it was normal?

I once managed a small team and there was a man in it. A man called on the phone for the male worker and asked me whether I was his secretary. I said no, I am his boss.

@VeronicaFranklin that's hilarious.

I particularly like that no one pointed out your role and instead just waited - peak British awkwardness

You bed to have some ready prepared smart comebacks for the next time this happens.

*need

Sounds like your company needs to have some anti-misogyny training!

The look on their faces was priceless.

They were falling over themselves apologising, it just made it more awkward to be honest, for them.

Bingbongs, they are asking when you are available, as then they will fit round you?

I don't run about making drinks, and never been expected to. I always look super smart and glam, so attempt to look intimidating:) On occasion- Hey, Beesandhoney, are you getting the coffees? Me ' no, I'm here to discuss x, and just have an email to send, but I would love one, thanks!"
Once got asked as nearest female to mtg room to come and take mins. Deadly silence, then my very ancient boss bellowed ' bees won't be taking mins, do it yourself - bloody nerve "

if you want a drink bring one or help your self at the machine in the corner . Last job a senior woman made all the drinks to ingratiate herself. Ended up tea girl every single mtg.

I dont believe I will see the end of this before the end of my work life.

I doubt a man or even woman has thought as far as assuming you are the PA. They are simply used to delegating shit to the woman.

The two men of equal rank in my team keep trying this on. They also interrupt and talk over me in pretty much every meeting and will gladly undermine me in a bigger meeting. They happily try to explain to me how to do my job better.

I dont know the answer to this. I try to be assertive as I'll just become resentful otherwise, but we all know who assertive women are bring labeled. They probably think I'm difficult. In fact, one has already told me not to take everything so seriously. You can't win. And my manager doesn't have my back either.

I get the opposite, in that, people are shocked and confused when a colleague (female) lets them know that will help them with an IT issue, which I have more experience in compared to my peers. You can see it in their faces... a woman? IT literate? Say it isn't so!

I've always told, for the last 30 years, any male that I've had anything to do with, starting out in my male dominated industry, to assume that any female in a meeting is the most senior person there. When I've had any feedback from them, it's extreme gratitude as I've stopped them making an idiot of themselves!

This made me laugh - not the situation obvs, but them getting their noses rubbed in it five mins later. Ha!

Good grief.

I think I would just say 'er sorry I don't think we have time for that as we need to begin the meeting and we have a lot to cover in a limited time.'

I'm a lawyer, I had a series of young male assistants at one firm. This kind of thing happened often when I had ones with obviously male names, less with the one with a slightly ambiguous name. Now my PA has a name typically associated with women in their 50s and more working class, compared to my name it never happens.

What industries are these? I work in tech and I've never seen this happen

I work in a large office and we are supposed to clear meeting rooms of coffee mugs etc when the meeting ends. Guess which gender takes out their mugs and which doesn't?

Men just walk out, because that's how they were raised from about 2 years old. They think it's none of their business and someone will clean after them.

I work in IT as well, I have never had this... I'm in my 50s

I'm not saying it doesnt happen, but it doesnt happen to all of us

I'm a in a senior role in my organisation. I have a gender neutral name, call me Alex.
Every time, and I mean EVERY time I meet new contacts with my male assistant (who also happens to be nearly 30 years my junior) the men look at him and say 'Alex?'

I always take the minutes of meetings, then I can decide what was said.

In really contentious meetings I've seen races between parties to publish the minutes.

Use your super powers!

The IT team at my work treat me like I'm thick when I request something really basic when in actual fact I worked in 3rd line support IT system administration and infrastructure in my previous role. Deffo mansplaining going on there.

I end up explaining things to them very simply so they can understand.

I called a meeting recently, as it was after hours I suggested everyone brought snacks to share, to make it a friendly affair. No compulsion to do so, but thought it would be nice.

The meeting was 50/50 men and women. Ten people in total.

Every single woman brought snacks. Not a single man did (though most were happy to partake). The idea that women will sort out domestic shit that is beneath them is pervasive.

As somebody who does take the minutes for some meetings, sometimes I'm more likely to say 'I'd normally be happy to, but I'm about to present my statistical analysis, detailed projections for the next five years and my recommendations made in the light of recent changes in Statutory Guidance, I might find it a little tricky to take the notes at the same time'.

But hey, taking the minutes is a mere administrative function that any woman could do. It's as though Governance Professionals only have penises sometimes.

How do the other women here of mansplaining and misogyny in the workplace? It's driving me insane. Don't think I can do it until retirement.

I work in a male dominated industry (first issue) and am excellent what I am doing with a solid reputation in the industry (second issue).