Screaming baby on children's ward

[Tomblibooz]

I'm on the children's ward tonight staying with my little one (who's currently fast asleep). Across the hall is a baby, I'd estimate to be around 4mo, left by themselves and has been screaming/crying for over an hour. The sort of wailing that it's making itself choke. It's heartbreaking to hear, and so I went for a wander to see what was going on and to offer to help.

Only 2 nurses on tonight, so short staffed. Baby's mum has gone home to pick up some things. Baby is left alone screaming in a cot, and has been for the hour basically.

I offered to go in and try and calm little one, even just sitting shushing or singing lullabies, but was told they couldn't allow it.

Aibu in thinking you'd prefer your little one to be looked after by a random mum, than be left alone screaming for over an hour on it's own?

I appreciate my hormones are all over the place just now and I'm on about night 3 of no sleep, so I may bu!

Yabu - people leave their own baby's to cry it out, baby was safe so no drama

Yanbu - for baby and everyone else's sake

Would it be less heartbreaking if the baby had been crying for an hour with someone holding/carrying him around?

Yes.

What services will deliver insulin (and everything else a type 1 diabetic needs) within the hour?

@Calphurnia88 no it shouldn’t be accepted but unfortunately is the norm. That’s why we are striking!! We need more staff and support services

worked in paeds 38 years, it's not uncommon for parents to have to go home to get stuff because most admissions are emergency and not planned, there is no 'baby going to hospital bag', and loads of families won't have support networks or their partner is at home already with other children. It's easier for the parent in the hospital to go home and get stuff than for the one with childcare to drag kids out of bed and go to the hospital in the middle of the night. plus the other partner may be trying to sort out childcare too as they have to still go to work.

The nurses will be well aware the child is crying and looking in when they can, but they have medical priorities which they have to deal with first, they will be aware if the child is due a feed or nappy change and will do that when it's needed if mum isn't there, but a crying child is a live child unfortunately so unless they have no other work that has to be done they won't prioritise a cuddle, even if they wanted too.
The baby could be NBM as is crying from hunger, nothing will stop that, it could be meningeal, in which case picking them up will increase their pain and irritation. It could be infectious which means extra time involved in infection prevention measures when entering and leaving the room, which is time-consuming. the time they don't have.
The nurses will be well aware of the baby's condition and will have had to make a judgment on whether it's safe to leave the baby crying. It's shit and it's horrible to leave a baby to cry, but until staffing is improved then currently they are in a position where they will be firefighting all night because they don't have the staff to do anymore.
It's been like this for years and they have been warning people for years that the situation was bad, but now it's in crisis. It's worse in adults
management has managed to deflect for years and blame staff for 'poor care' supported by horror stories in the media and the government, but it's got so bad now that it can't be hidden any longer.

@Toddlerteaplease that’s so sad ☹️ with this little one we were just asked to cuddle him in an upright position, the poor thing had a lot of issues and wouldn’t sleep in the cot (as many NT babies don’t….had many a night doing the same with my DD). We just held him while he slept, otherwise he’d have screamed all night long. Any DBS checked person with arms could do it and thankfully we had a good number of people putting themselves forward.

For daytime volunteering I’ve brought my therapy dog in to visit children’s ED but I don’t know what value I’d add without him so I do see what you mean.

Is staggering how many people are unable to a picture or empathise to situation different to their own. You have no idea why the woman had to leave the baby or how she felt at having to do so, so it is very unfair to criticise in the way you have done.

the senior managers will know what the staffing issues are on all the wards because it get handed over in the at least twice a day whole hospital safety meetings that they have, there’s nothing more that can be done because there isn’t the staff available.

As a ex paediatric nurse I had to prioritise the care children receive and encouraged my staff to do the same. This may come as a shock to you but unwell children and their often complex treatment take priority over a relatively well crying baby. If this was your child I assure you you would want the same Obviously everyone thinks their child's needs are more important than the one in the next bed and trust me the number of complaints I used to look at bears this out but should your child be in hospital and critically unwell you'll be pleased to know that we priorities things on basis of clinical need.
Secondly to those saying there should be more staff. Do you think at midnight managers are going to shake a tree and magic some up I don't know why people find this such a difficult concept to grasp its quite simple: THERE ARE NO STAFF. Someone said move then from another ward, the situation is unlikely to be better on another ward, on adult wards the staffing ratios are worse most trained staff are looking after at least 10 often 15 patients at night and many of our 36/38 bedded wards only have 2 HCSW on at night you cant move people around because there aren't enough staff to move. In my hospital the other day only one trained member of staff turned up for a night shift on a busy 36 bedded surgical ward. Also many adult trained nurse wont go to paeds because they are very nervous as they lack the training and vice versa.

To the person saying they think its unlikely that there is only two trained staff on the ward I have have come onto nights and been 1 of only two trained staff for 26 children and no HCSW, Its is exceedingly stressful children deteriorate very quickly and even with my extensive experience it was worrying, you are having to prioritise the need of 13 children many of whom are quite sick deciding who to treat first who needs intervention first who needs escalating.
Many years ago under a different username I started a thread raising my concern about the state the NHS I wanted to people to be aware of what was going on that it was a train crash waiting to happen, I wanted to speak out before it become a collapses I was criticised for doing this. Many said it was my responsibility to resolve the problems as I worked for the organisation that there were no problems in the NHS that it didn't apply to them because they had private health insurance (paeds is rarely covered for anything beyond the very routine) or they were healthy and never used it but were still paying NI, they moaned about their experience in the NHS and said it should be privatised I could go on. I learnt my lesson and shut up. Now we have the NHS that we deserve. Exhausted demoralised staff worse since covid, 45 000 nursing vacancies across NHS England, a desperate shortage of doctors my trust cannot recruit consultants for many areas for love nor money, no GPs as so many are now retiring and not being replaced, waiting lists a mile long, hge waits in ED, our elderly many of whom are the most vulnerable in a our society who deserve the best possible care are frankly being treated like shit especially in many private care homes, massive staff shortages in every area impacting on the care you and your loved ones receive. Anyone working in the NHS with a brain could have predicted this 10 hears years ago it was so obvious it was coming but Joe Public is complacent they bought into the lies during the policy of austerity undertaken by the Tories; NHS funding went up by less than inflation although the demands on the NHS were greater year on year caused by an ever ageing and unwell population, they get blinded to the real issues by concerns about illegal immigration etc whipped up by the media. So now we haver the NHS we deserve.
And as one doctor said "will you still be clapping for us when this is all over?"

When I was in hospital with DD, at 18 months, there was a baby who needed long term care, so parents couldn't be there all the time. They had the baby in a room next to the staff desk and often you'd see him in his car seat on the floor in the doorway. They could have wheeled his cot to the staff desk.

You clearly have no experience of having a young child on a paediatric ward. Talk about out of touch!

I do have experience of this. Sure it was hell and I didn’t feel able to leave DC for more than a couple of mins to run to the on site shop. However, during the night they were able to provide a nappy when I ran out. There was a vending machine in the hospital where I was able to buy a snack. They also had emergency formula on request.

No, I was making the same point as you are! Some people (me at the time) are able to stay with their babies, but some people (single mum with 4 small kids at home ) aren’t. This was in defence of women who can’t. No smugness intended!!

How can non-NHS folk like me support you and demand change?

Write to your MP. Encourage others to write. They have to address letters and its all logged, As long as they arent having to deal with this they will continue to ignore it.
But most of all DONT VOTE TORY.

This

"How can non-NHS folk like me support you and demand change?"
Stop criticising the NHS but criticise those who fund it; the current government lobby your MP the health secretary the PM I don't know anyone who might listen, post on social media how you support us. Privatisation is not the way forward, the NHS is only not fit for purpose because we our underfunded and understaffed give me one reason why privatisation will make this better? Various areas of the NHS have already been privatised I've had to liaise with these organisations trust me when an organisation needs to make profit it cones at a cost to care it has too. Years ago I worked in private nursing homes same story, most people have no idea whats going on behind the scenes I wouldn't put my dog in most of the care homes I've worked in.

Why within an hour? Would that person not be carrying some supplies.

I’ll step away from this thread. I’m clearly wrong. The moment your child is ill the NHS should pick up every aspect of their care and also be mindful of the adults person wellbeing too…

Excellent post!

The same issue arises on adult wards with patients with dementia etc. There aren't enough staff and medical need has to come first.

The parent may have nipped out then because the baby may usually sleep at that time.

@SpecialK2023 are you being deliberately obtuse? Do you not know that you can be waiting up to 12 hours and sometimes more before being admitted to the ward from a&e? Can you not understand that sometimes a parent has to leave their child in hospital alone?

Remember like the way this government are desperate to appeal to the so called Brexit supporting red wall the one thing no government wants to do is loose votes. Make your NHS (because it is your NHS if your child is critically unwell today it will be NHS you'll turn too and who will throw everything they possibly can at your child) the thing that will impact on how you vote above everything else, make this known to everyone write to MPs, Ritchie, news papers news websites your friends and get them to do the same. You supported us during covid keep doing it do not accept that privatisation is the way forward it isn't.

Those supplies are used up fairly swiftly when you’ve been sat in A&E for eight hours, then had almost seven hours in A&E waiting for staff to decide what your baby needs, do they have a bed, are test results back. How many days worth of medication do you think parents should have on their person at all times?

Its most likely about insurance cover.

@tiredwardsister excellent posts. I worked nights on a 32 bedded surgical ward (adult). 2 trained and 1 HCA. It was a nightmare. Stayed late after every shift filling in IR1s. Nothing was ever done about the understaffing issues.

"Would it be less heartbreaking if the baby had been crying for an hour with someone holding/carrying him around?"

Absolutely, what an odd question

You still comfort someone who is distressed or in pain even if you can't ease whatever. Imagine saying 'you're going to be upset anyway so why waste my time on you?'.

What?
We cannot allow other parents to look after other peoples babies because of safe guarding and confidentiality.
I don't give a shit about insurance but I did care about the children on the ward and can you imagine the uproar "nurse allowed random parent to care for another child who went on to abuse that child?" And what about confidentiality? No wonder i used to be up to my eyeballs in ridiculous complaint are people really this stupid? Though God knows why Im surprised.