For not cooking my teenager dinner

[Ohdesr]

So I am really trying to use everything we have in the house before shopping for more.
today i made homemade tomato soup and garlic bread. My teen complained its not filling enough so they dont want that.
Cue her complaining for the next hour that she is starved, i gave her a list of things she could eat, tuna pasta, tuna mayo jacket potato, omelette, pesto pasta, even cereal.

She has now gone off in a strop because i wont go to the shop to buy her something saucy (?!) she hasnt eaten because nothing sounds nice. And now she’s gotten her dad involved saying i am starving her. Ahhhh

Tomato and lentil soup is filling! With garlic bread. What's a pizza then if it's not the same ingredients (bar the lentils and adding a bit of cheese) rearranged?

Aren't people weird with their definition of what a filling meal is? Home made tomato and lentil soup with cheesy garlic bread is very filling. And nutritionally much better for you than a pizza ! But they wouldn't be moaning about 'a proper dinner' if the offer was home pizza, or pasta with tomato sauce and cheese.

Why do you keep going on about the fact it was homemade? What difference does that make?

because if you're thinking a can of Heinz and a slice of mother's pride you would be very very far off the mark and I'd agree that was a shit dinner.

But a very hearty tomato and lentil soup and cheesy garlic bread? and the potential for other stuff (pasta, tuna, omlette) would have topped up the hungry person.
But DD wasn't hungry, she was mardy and - meh.

On another tack, I don't think anyone has talked about this bit - how DARE your dh side with her?!? That is awful.

This is what i was this thinking. Probably why there is so many entitled children these days because parents pander to what they want.

my kids get 2options to pick from at dinner time, if they don’t choose something me or my partner will so they are left with the option of eat what has been cooked or don’t eat at all(they are usually the first to clear their plates though)lol

indeed.

The hilarious thing is that the teenager cut her nose of to spite her face.

“That’s not a proper meal. It’s not going to fill me up. So I’ll just not eat anything at all.”

Because just eating the soup and bread and then deciding whether you might want to make yourself a tuna sandwich because you’re still hungry is unthinkable.

If DS came to me whinging that his dad had made a dinner he seemed too light so he refused to eat it and now he’s starving, I’d actually laugh at him. And ask him to think through why he’s hungry and how he could have avoided the situation. I certainly wouldn’t phone up his dad complain he isn’t feeding him properly.

He regularly comes back here after dinner at his dad’s and makes himself something to eat. I tend to keep leftovers in the fridge for this purpose. His dad isn’t under feeding him. He’s 13, sporty and currently growing like a weed, so he eats dinner at 6 and then is hungry again at 8.30.

But if he complained he was hungry because he’d refused to eat dinner, especially on the basis that it wasn’t substantial enough for him, I would laugh and laugh. It’s toddler logic.

I have teenage GS living with me and the amount he puts away when he gets in from school is mind boggling, particularly if he's had two lunches at school. At his school they have two breaks, early lunch and lunch, I suppose some kids are hungry earlier than others but he's often hungry for both. He is growing like a weed so I suppose that's why.

Yes. Absolutely.

He’s undermining you and validating an oversized toddler tantrum!

So did her dad feed her then? Or does he just instruct the staff?

Just because something's homemade it doesn't mean it is “hearty”. There are hardly any calories in tomatoes and given OP is calling it a soup rather than stew or curry I doubt they were much lentils either. “Homemade” cheesy garlic bread would just involve putting cheese and garlic on bread wouldn’t it?

All the people saying they'd be disappointed etc. If someone has gone to the effort of making you a home cooked meal and you act disappointed or say anything in my house you'd be shown the door! Some of you sound really spoilt with these weird rigid rules about food and meals. That's more likely to cause food issues to be honest than a teenager being told tomato and lentil soup with bread is a meal! 😆

@orchid220 the OP mentioned several times that it's a substantial soup. Stop picking just because you can.
"I doubt there were much lentils" - don't be daft.

OP - can you post the recipe and a photo please

I've never eaten tomato soup, I eat most things and not fussy but a bowl of tomato soup looks like a bowl of blood to me and I can't face it.

Tomato sauce on pasta I have no problem with.

She's a teen - she could at least make herself a toasted sandwich if she doesn't want to cook anything.

If her dad thinks she shouldn't have to do it herself, let him cook something for her.

Yep the soup with lentils is a lot healthier than either pizza or pasta and sauce. Yet they are somehow constituted "proper". We only have pizza now and again as it's so nutrient poor, I have a friend who's kids have it multiple times a week (due to friend not being able to cook or understanding nutrition) and her kids I would say are a bit malnourished.

There are hardly any calories in tomatoes and given OP is calling it a soup rather than stew or curry I doubt they were much lentils either.

You don't know that, you're guessing. The OP clearly considered it filling enough, and she's the one who made it, so she'd probably know. And even if she was wrong, and the DD needed more to eat after it, the OP wouldn't have stopped her from getting something else from the kitchen!

*I've never eaten tomato soup, I eat most things and not fussy but a bowl of tomato soup looks like a bowl of blood to me and I can't face it.

Tomato sauce on pasta I have no problem with*

Well, okay. Doesn't mean that tomato soup is not a meal, just because you don't like it. I don't like a very hot curry. It's still a meal.

Who cares if it was or was not substantial?

it was soup. Adequate as dinner for an adult woman.

And therefore adequate as food for a teenage girl who could, if she were not fully satisfied by the volume and heartiness of the meal, have supplemented it with many readily available things in the kitchen.

Meals at my mum’s house are never substantial enough for me and my teenager. That doesn’t mean I reject them or throw or strop. Or allow him to. No. It means that we eat it, say thank you, and then get more food on the way home/at home so no one is hungry. Or he might politely ask for a second helping of dinner.

The great thing about not being destitute is that, if anyone is still hungry after a meal, it’s possible to get more food. There’s no law preventing people from
eating two dinners if they’re hungry.

Home made tomato soup is pretty filling (I make with sweet potato, carrots, peppers etc) it’s a good dinner for us. And why does the OP have to go to the shop - why can’t the hungry teen go?

I agree with her that soup wouldn't fill me up as an evening meal, but YANBU about the rest. There were plenty of things she could have made.

My 16 YO DS wouldn’t think that was a meal either due to lack protein. He does cook for himself regularly though, but wouldn’t touch tinned tuna or any of the options you suggested apart from an omelette.

I end up freezing raw meat / fish in individual potions in the freezer for him. He’ll also cook with eggs and paneer cheese. At a push he’ll use kidney beans in a chilli con carne. He uses vegetables also in his cooking.

I think if teenagers don’t want what’s on offer then it’s their problem as they can cook for themselves, but if there was no meat or fish or eggs (or paneer) or kidney beans and no veg too cook with my DS would also not be impressed, even if there was pasta / tuna / bread / soup etc.

I’m not sure you can generalise from your very specific food issue there.

For most people, tomato soup is just soup and triggers no trauma. If the OP’s daughter had the same issue as you, I’d imagine her mother probably wouldn’t have served tomato soup.

DS has coeliac disease. I don’t serve him food with gluten in it. That doesn’t mean gluteny food isn’t suitable food for everyone else.

'My ds would not be impressed' - well then, he can walk to the shop himself then, can't he?

OP I'm wondering whether you were too literal about this whole scenario. Is there a possibility that your DF was craving a bit of love and trying to get your attention, rather than really upset about the tomato soup? Have you asked her if everything else is ok?

Yes that struck me as well. Not just the posters but OP's reaction as well. Does DH do any cooking OR shopping around the house, and if so, why didn't he step in to landed to his own daughter rather than gobbing off?

but if there was no meat or fish or eggs (or paneer) or kidney beans and no veg too cook with my DS would also not be impressed

Well, he'd have been ok then, because there was this.
We also have fruit, veggies, eggs, cheese and beige bits in the freezer knocking about

And if there wasn't and he was not 'impressed' then I'd be telling him to eat the soup and shut up! Or go to the shops himself.

Again, those are your DS’s food preferences. And you cater to them.

Given the OP knows her daughter, and her kitchen is likely stocked with things people in her household eat, it’s probable that the list of foods she suggested her DD could make are actually things her DD would generally eat.