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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why does he keep blocking me?

360 replies

Babgirl2023x · 08/02/2023 11:21

I’ll try to keep this short, 2 years ago I was approached by a group of guys whilst I was on my way home, one asked for my Snapchat and I gave it to him because I was single and instantly attracted to him.

when I got home we chatted for a bit but I guess I must of said something he didn’t like because I was quick enough blocked. (Can’t remember what). Anyway about 9 months later he added me on Facebook and told me he had just got out of jail ect…. We started talking again and I actually really started to like him. It was constant conversation I felt like I had known him years.

He asked me what I wanted, I said obviously right not just too take things slow, as I knew he was speaking to other girls at the time as I could see his friends list and he would add about 50+ girls daily. Obviously we was both single and only just started speaking so I wasn’t expecting him to cut everyone off. He didn’t like the fact I said I wanted things to go slow and said that I was obviously sleeping around and he blocked me.

He unblocked me about three days later and message me telling me he missed me, he said to me I need to “ move correctly “ if I wanted to be his girl. We started speaking again for a few days And he was consistent on wanting to stay at my house. But I was wanting to take things slow at this point so I was making up excuses every time he asked. He told me I wasn’t serious so he blocked me for a good couple of months.

I was really confused because he was telling me how much he likes me and how he wants me to be with his girl soon ect… how could he say all that but just block me again?

He added me again about 4 months later and messaged me saying “I’m coming to yours” I told him no because what did he think this was. No contact for so long and then to just message me telling me he was coming to mine. Anyway we spoke on the phone and text for about a week I posted a picture on Snapchat and you could see Clevlage this made him mad and he blocked me.

I messaged him on Facebook telling him to never ever try and contact me again. He ignored that for a bit but soon apologised and we soon started talking and made up. I was round at my friends house having a drink and she told me to invite him over. So I did and he came.

as soon as he seen me he told me I was so beautiful and even better looking in person and that was is it I was his now. He was trying to kiss me and was being all over me as soon as he walked in the door. I was like kind of being shy because I’m not used to that and he said I was all talk and Boring.

every time my friend left the room he would try whipping out his penis and ask me to put it in my mouth. I told him no and that my friend was here he didn’t care. We was drinking and something was said between me and my friend that he didn’t like, he then proceeded to throw a moam sweet in my direction that actually ended up hitting my face.

later that night he ended up staying in the spare room with me and we did end up having sex. But we ended up arguing again after I can’t even remember what over and he told me to never speak to him again.

he left and later on that day I messaged him and apologised we spoke for that day but later that night he literally blocked me. I got my friend to look on his Facebook profile the next day and I seen he had gone into a relationship with someone. Not even 24 hours after being in bed with me I was so angry and hurt by him.

I text him and told him that I knew and that I would never ever forgive him for it. Two months later he had made a new Facebook and added me I seen his friend request and left it sat there for a few days. I was still so hurt by this person but the curiosity and my feelings made me want to accept him and to see what he wanted.

when I accepted him I didn’t message him I waited for him to message me to see what he had to say for him self. He didn’t even try to apologise he just made it out like it was nothing.

somehow we ended up talking again but it felt very different this time, I invited him round to stay the night at my house after talking for about a week. And it was really good like when we met this time it was so much different to the rest we was sat chilling enjoying each other’s company a lot.

he asked me to be his girl but I said to him what’s the point all you do is block me and treat
me like I’m nothing to you. He promised he wouldn’t do that again, and me like an idiot believed him again lol.
everything was good at mine apart from when I was on my phone and he was accusing me of trying to hide it and accuse me of speaking to lads. I don’t know why but I felt like I have to constantly reassure him.

we ended up making a video of us having sex, which I feel so so stupid about because I sent it him. He was saying to me that I’m so sexy and that we should make an only fans account and to give him the password and we share the money 50/50.

anyway when he left in the morning he was asking me to come back that night but I had to go to work. He wasn’t really that bothered by that and we continued to call and text, he was so much quicker now with the replies he would send me paragraphs and message me first now and so much quicker. He was even sending me snaps whilst he was out and in the shower. He never used to reply so quick and frequent before.

I posted a picture on my story on Snapchat a few days later nothing bad, he messaged me and asked me who I was trying to impress.I told him no one and he didn’t speak to me all night he left me on read. I messaged him the next morning like lol hi at least you didn’t block me this time. We spoke for a few more days and he asked me to be his girlfriend like officially this time.

I said yeah and then the next message he asked me was what I was doing?, I told him I was just waiting for my friend to get a taxi and then going to bed. He literally started ringing my phone out but I didn’t answer because I was busy.

he messaged me saying to never ever speak to him ever again in my life, that me and him will never ever ever happen again and that my friend was clearly a lad & then blocked me (this was a week ago).

I was so confused and still am so confused, I know he’s blocked me loads of times before but obviously we never really was anything and met briefly but now that we have had sex and met and actually spent time together and him ask me to be his girlfriend it’s left me so confused and hurt.

two days ago I got added from a Snapchat account from “search”, I never post my Snapchat details anywhere I’m very private.

i accepted it to see who it was and it had no snap score, no bitmoji no nothing. The account was telling me that he lives in the town next to where I am from, how they had me on their old Snapchat and had made a new one and was adding all their old contacts. I kinda of believed it so I said okay and they tried starting a conversation I left them on read and they kept messaging me.

I looked at the account more as the hours went on and the account snap score wasn’t going up. The account was asking me if I had ever been on a night out in Liverpool ( this set alarms of in my head as I was planning a night out in Liverpool with the guy who blocked me). It then started telling me how he wants to lick my bum and have him bum licked. Which is exactly what he was asking me to do to him at mine but I wouldn’t.

the account asked me if I had an only fans and that I should because I’d make loads of money. Something was just telling me this person wasn’t who they said they was. They wouldn’t send me a red Snapchat or a voice note just a saved picture. I told the account if they don’t tell me who they are I’m blocking them.

the account said it would tell me who they are but not to tell anyone and to keep it a secret between us because he’ll get in trouble. This threw me of thinking it was him because why would he get in to trouble. I was watching the way the person was typing to see if it was the same as the way the guy I was seeing typed but it seemed to me like the fake account was purposely trying hard to make their grammar and spelling bad.

the account said that they knew me, that I have met them in person but wouldn’t tell me anything else. I ended up blocking the account but I still feel like it’s him I don’t know, I don’t get why he would do that but I don’t get why anyone else would do that aswell.

I don’t understand why someone if they did want to speak wouldn’t just try to talk to me of their actual account but I don’t understand at the same time why he would make a fake account but have me blocked on his if he did want to talk to me.

I am so confused at the moment, the fake account thing is making me a little bit paranoid as if it isn’t him why would someone go to so much effort to watch me, it feels kind of creepy.

sorry about the long post my brain is just very foggy at the minute and I have all these thoughts and questions I need help getting answers too I know I’ll never get them of him but can’t someone try and paint a picture for me.

OP posts:
Babgirl2023x · 08/02/2023 13:42

Sussexlass84 · 08/02/2023 13:32

This is honing on something very specific OP, but you're your own person. You are not "his" and you are most certainly not a "girl"

Is that what you want? To belong to someone? Walk away!!!

Thankyou

OP posts:
AffIt · 08/02/2023 13:44

Who can you speak to in real life, OP?

You sound like an intelligent, thoughtful person who has overcome a lot already and you have so much going for you, BUT you have to get away from all of this or else - and I don't say this lightly - you're going to end up another statistic at the hands of a violent and abusive man.

Please do try re-engaging with counselling - you have been damaged by your early life and upbringing, and counselling will help you re-frame your thinking.

The fact that you're planning an exit strategy to get away from where you grew up also sounds like a good plan, but think it through carefully so that you're making genuine change, rather than just running into more bad choices in a different place.

Believe me, and others on this thread, when we say there is NOTHING NORMAL about how this man treats you, but you have clearly been conditioned by your background to accept it as such.

There are nice men out there, I promise you, and you deserve the chance to enjoy a mutually beneficial relationship that comes from kindness.

However, this is is in your control and your control only: you need to be the one to make the changes you need to make to enjoy the life in front of you. The very first step is putting as much physical and emotional difference between you and this man as possible.

I wish you the very best of luck.

Frosty1000 · 08/02/2023 13:45

Couldn't read it all but please have more faith in what you deserve. You can have so much better than this idiot.

Block and move on x

SingaporeSlinky · 08/02/2023 13:46

Bending your fingers back and then laughing it off, pushing you off the bed, calling you names is abusive, and will get worse. He’s testing you, to see how far he can go. Each time you go back, he knows you will take it. So next time it’s a little worse, and you still go back. In the end, he can do whatever the fuck he wants and you will just accept it. Because he’s good looking? No.

If my husband had ever once called me a slag, I’d have been gone.

Babgirl2023x · 08/02/2023 13:49

Sussexlass84 · 08/02/2023 13:34

Also...what you described in your latest update IS ABUSE. He's physically hurt you OP - he is abusive...surely you must see that?

Who can you talk to in real life to get some support?

I have friends and family but I’m just not comfortable opening up to anyone like that. My friends I see every couple of months and my mum and I are close but not that close I don’t go to her if I’m upset never really have

OP posts:
Babgirl2023x · 08/02/2023 13:51

AffIt · 08/02/2023 13:44

Who can you speak to in real life, OP?

You sound like an intelligent, thoughtful person who has overcome a lot already and you have so much going for you, BUT you have to get away from all of this or else - and I don't say this lightly - you're going to end up another statistic at the hands of a violent and abusive man.

Please do try re-engaging with counselling - you have been damaged by your early life and upbringing, and counselling will help you re-frame your thinking.

The fact that you're planning an exit strategy to get away from where you grew up also sounds like a good plan, but think it through carefully so that you're making genuine change, rather than just running into more bad choices in a different place.

Believe me, and others on this thread, when we say there is NOTHING NORMAL about how this man treats you, but you have clearly been conditioned by your background to accept it as such.

There are nice men out there, I promise you, and you deserve the chance to enjoy a mutually beneficial relationship that comes from kindness.

However, this is is in your control and your control only: you need to be the one to make the changes you need to make to enjoy the life in front of you. The very first step is putting as much physical and emotional difference between you and this man as possible.

I wish you the very best of luck.

Thankyou very much! And I don’t really have anyone who I can talk too about the situation if I’m being totally honest. I think part of it is because I feel so stupid for letting him in again

OP posts:
Babgirl2023x · 08/02/2023 13:55

The last message he sent (for context)

Why does he keep blocking me?
OP posts:
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 08/02/2023 13:59

Babgirl2023x · 08/02/2023 11:45

The thing is I knew of him, I just didn’t know him on a personal level. I know his older brother when he asked me for my Snapchat I said yes part of the reason why is because I find it very awkward saying no plus I do think he’s attractive so thought why not. Most could say the same about dating websites? Why give personal details out to strangers online? Most of the time conversation leaves the dating platform and heads to social media.

OP, “why not?” ….because he’s a criminal and a creep.

Raise your standards!!

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 08/02/2023 14:00

Babgirl2023x · 08/02/2023 13:55

The last message he sent (for context)

And you want to continue a relationship with a man who speaks to you this way?

funinthesun19 · 08/02/2023 14:00

I hope you can get away from this complete loser once and for all. You probably know already that you deserve a million times better than him.

Hups · 08/02/2023 14:03

Is it half term already?

SingaporeSlinky · 08/02/2023 14:04

If that’s his last message, block and let it be a reminder why. You’d be absolutely barking mad to try and contact him again. He’s displaying lots of jealousy and anger. Move on.

Literally every single poster here has told you he’s no good, you are worth more, to move on. We don’t need to see any more messages or examples of when he’s been a prick. We got it from the first few paragraphs. Just stop.

Babgirl2023x · 08/02/2023 14:13

SingaporeSlinky · 08/02/2023 14:04

If that’s his last message, block and let it be a reminder why. You’d be absolutely barking mad to try and contact him again. He’s displaying lots of jealousy and anger. Move on.

Literally every single poster here has told you he’s no good, you are worth more, to move on. We don’t need to see any more messages or examples of when he’s been a prick. We got it from the first few paragraphs. Just stop.

I know he’s no good, I have not once said this boy is so good for me I know he isn’t good. I posted the screenshot for more context as I’m being replying to several comments at once and being asked different things it’ll be easier for it to be read

OP posts:
Babgirl2023x · 08/02/2023 14:13

Hups · 08/02/2023 14:03

Is it half term already?

Ohh go away, I’m asking for advice Jesus christ

OP posts:
Babgirl2023x · 08/02/2023 14:14

funinthesun19 · 08/02/2023 14:00

I hope you can get away from this complete loser once and for all. You probably know already that you deserve a million times better than him.

Thankyou

OP posts:
Tothemoonandbackx · 08/02/2023 14:15

@PurplePineapple1 spat my coffee out 😂😂 *there's no dick shortage 😂😂😂

Babgirl2023x · 08/02/2023 14:16

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 08/02/2023 14:00

And you want to continue a relationship with a man who speaks to you this way?

I never said I wanted to continue the relationship I just wanted to get a better understand of the situation because it’s left me with so many questions and no answers OBVIOUSLY I know No one can tell me but him. But I guess the aim of this post was for me to get better understanding on my situation and to receive advice. Which I have received a lot of good advice that I will be taking on board

OP posts:
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 08/02/2023 14:17

Babgirl2023x · 08/02/2023 14:16

I never said I wanted to continue the relationship I just wanted to get a better understand of the situation because it’s left me with so many questions and no answers OBVIOUSLY I know No one can tell me but him. But I guess the aim of this post was for me to get better understanding on my situation and to receive advice. Which I have received a lot of good advice that I will be taking on board

Honestly OP the answer is a simple one: he’s just a dickhead. A horrible man who uses women. Sadly you were one of them, but I really don’t think you’ve done anything other than been too accommodating. It’s shit, and rejection hurts a lot, but learn from it and move on because you deserve better.

ShinyMe · 08/02/2023 14:24

Op, you're at uni?
Please go and talk to the wellbeing and safeguarding team.

Babgirl2023x · 08/02/2023 14:25

So I just want to say a massive thank-you to everyone who has taken time out of their day to give me advice. Some people have been brutally honest but I think I needed that.
I understand I won’t get the answer I need from him but I also now understand that I do not need the answers from him, it’s his loss.

It may hurt for now but I guess I have saved my self from a situation that could of turned very differently. I guess everything happens for a reason right?

I am listening, and taking information on board I have a hard time explaining my self hence why I type so much haha sorry about that.

OP posts:
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 08/02/2023 14:25

Well done OP Flowers you take care now

Babgirl2023x · 08/02/2023 14:27

ShinyMe · 08/02/2023 14:24

Op, you're at uni?
Please go and talk to the wellbeing and safeguarding team.

My friends at university have spoken to my tutor on my behalf over a situation that happened between me and him a few weeks ago.

my tutor had to refer me to safe guarding because of what happened however they were talking about contacting the police ect and I really do not want to do that. I would rather just cut my loses now

OP posts:
Pesimistic · 08/02/2023 14:27

Basically, he's keeping you on a string, he's manipulating you too be hanging on for him, making it seem like he's a prize when realy he's just an abusive tosser. He doesnt love you, he doesnt even like you, your just a glorified wank to him. Please block on all platforms, get a dead lock for your door and kindly, some self respect.

Aquamarine1029 · 08/02/2023 14:29

Please, please reach out and take advantage of any resources you can to help yourself work through your issues. You can have such an amazing future but you absolutely will not if you continue to associate with scumbags like him. People like this man will ruin your life if you let them.

ShinyMe · 08/02/2023 14:29

Cut your losses? What does that mean? If you mean you'd let this bloke cause you to quit uni then that's really letting him win. Safeguarding are there to protect you, not to get you in trouble and make things worse.