Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child spoiling holiday

356 replies

Carrie76 · 08/02/2023 08:02

We’re currently on a ski holiday, first time for the kids. Child no 2 is refusing to go to ski school, he thinks it’s boring. The other 2 would rather ski with parents too but they’re okay to do it.

I’m currently sitting in the apt with the middle one as if he’s not doing ski school he’s not going skiing. He’s very headstrong and I don’t think he should get his way. I’m now resenting the fact that I’ve to sit here for 2.5 hrs until the lesson is over. Do I then let him ski in the afternoon??

OP posts:
OverProtectiveMumOfPFB · 08/02/2023 09:43

A few near-misses and he'll realise his capabilities might need some fine-tuning.

No this is awful advice. At age 10 and going too fast, he could seriously injure a younger child.

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 08/02/2023 09:44

Eastereggsboxedupready · 08/02/2023 08:05

Well I hope they aren't sat on their tech..

Fuck me what a stupid pompous comment 😂

What earthly difference does it make to you if the OP’s kid is on his phone??

Zodfa · 08/02/2023 09:45

Stuck on some mountain in winter and the only permitted activity is a PE lesson with a load of strange kids who don't speak your language. Some holiday!

Scotty12 · 08/02/2023 09:45

It’s his holiday too. We didn’t bother with ski school after the age of about 8 as our kids didn’t want to go and we enjoyed being together. Just get out there and enjoy your holiday with your kids. A ski holiday without skiing is not fun.

AlwaysLatte · 08/02/2023 09:46

If the others like ski school why not find some other fun activities to do with him while they're there?

budgiegirl · 08/02/2023 09:47

You wouldn’t get angry with a kid for not being able to swim on a beach holiday No, but you wouldn't allow them in the deep end of the pool on their own either, would you?

Skiers who want to go fast need to learn how to do that safely. Otherwise they're putting their safety as risk, as well as the safety of other skiers on the slopes.

OP, as your child enjoys skiing, but not the classes, perhaps you could ask the instructor if they think your child is ready to move to a more advanced class. If they say yes, then all is good, but if they say no, then your child just has to accept his ability level and attend classes if he want to ski in the afternoon.

JenniferBarkley · 08/02/2023 09:47

God I would have hated that as a kid - 2.5 hours of mandatory PE every day, away from my parents. Happy holidays.

fruitbrewhaha · 08/02/2023 09:51

If you’re only on the green slopes yourself OP why dont you get an instructor for the pair of you tomorrow?

garlictwist · 08/02/2023 09:51

Catcharolo · 08/02/2023 09:28

He sounds like a total total pain.
At 10, I’d leave him in the apartment for the morning and go off skiing. I’m sure one boring morning inside will be more than enough to get him going back to ski school. Ski school: it’s a funny one..I wasn’t mad keen on it, lots of being shouted at in French, cold ski lifts and other weird children BUT..it’s almost a necessity/rite of passage as a child if you are part of a skiing family! And now skiing is the best week of the year for me! And my children go off to ski school. They love it though , apparently.

Genuine question from someone who's never been skiing - if all these ski schools are in French (as they should be, I guess, being in France) - how do kids who don't speak French learn anything and how is it safe?

FlounderingFruitcake · 08/02/2023 09:52

Dotjones · 08/02/2023 09:41

I think you need to call his bluff and just let him crack on. Sometimes the best way kids learn is through their mistakes. I remember when I was about 7 I stuck my finger through the guard on the electric fire to touch the heating element. I learnt very quickly and painfully not to do something so blatantly stupid. It's the same for your child, insist he wears all the safety gear and a helmet but just let him ski if he's so convinced he knows it all. A few near-misses and he'll realise his capabilities might need some fine-tuning.

Show quote history

And when he’s hurtling out of control, what if he seriously injured or killed himself? Or if he crashed into someone else? Where’s the guarantee that he’ll only have near misses? I don’t disagree with the principle of what you’re saying but skiing is far too dangerous for that to be a good idea.

CaptainMyCaptain · 08/02/2023 09:53

DappledThings · 08/02/2023 08:07

Did he want to go skiing? I would have been terrified of that as a child and cold and miserable and very much not felt like it was a holiday in the least. Same as I would now really but I have the option to never go.

It's a bit different to a child not wanting to go out for a walk or to a museum or join in at dinner. It's a very specific activity that I don't think you can force him to do.

Yes. I would feel the same way.

DeadOrchid · 08/02/2023 09:53

Badger1970 · 08/02/2023 09:21

I'd be tempted to let him do what he wants but then you're the person who'll be doing the grunt work if he ends up with a broken leg or arm.

I'd point out that it's for his safety and no other reason... and no lessons, no slopes.

Having been hit from behind by an out of control child it’s not just his safety that is at risk.

Nosleepforthismum · 08/02/2023 09:53

This was my brother 20 years ago. He’s just being a cocky little arse OP. My dad told us children weren’t allowed on the main slopes unless we had completed ski school, no matter how boring or repetitive it was. I’d be majorly pissed off if this was my child and I’d be telling him ski school is not optional.

budgiegirl · 08/02/2023 09:53

It's the same for your child, insist he wears all the safety gear and a helmet but just let him ski if he's so convinced he knows it all. A few near-misses and he'll realise his capabilities might need some fine-tuning

That's ridiculous advice. What if he doesn't have a near-miss, but a full on accident and seriously injures himself or another skier?

skippymcflippy · 08/02/2023 09:54

No ski school. No skiing. That's it. That's the choice.

Can't believe all these people who think it's ok for him just to ski wherever he fancies and whatever speed he likes after just 3 days without further lessons.
Talk to the instructor about his progress to see if he might be better off in another group. Probably doesn't need to be though - just thinks he knows it all. And as he claims he loves skiing I would suspect that he wants to go faster and further than the instructor is allowing and that's what the issue is. But he absolutely has to learn to ski safely.

I live in a ski resort. It's an extremely dangerous sport if people don't have control over their speed. The helicopter is here at least once a day carting people off to hospital and it's a small resort! Lots of accidents and these mainly involve people with little skiing experience. Collisions with other skiers are very dangerous - children have been killed colliding with adult skiers.
Someone died just this week at a nearby resort when they skied off the edge of the piste and hit a rock as they were unable to stop or turn adequately.

Mumoffairy · 08/02/2023 09:55

People are talking nonsense. The OP already says he likes skiing. He hust doesnt want to do it in ski school.
Its very sensible to have them learn it properly with a teacher though! I would totally stick to that! Try to find out what he doesnt like about ski school. I sent mine to private lessons when they were little. They both had their own teacher, because their skills werent the same. DS loved it, the teacher showed him how to be safe and also took him down some slopes with jumps, forrest paths etc. just for fun. DD went on easier slopes and was just taught the basics on how to be safe. She is a bit more careful than her brother.
It was expensive to get a private tutor, but they only went 2x2h and then both teachers said they are good to go alone now.
Even DD made it down the hardest slopes with the teachers game plan and we can take them anywhere now.

Fossie · 08/02/2023 09:56

diddl · 08/02/2023 09:00

Where's your OH Op?

What help was he in persuading your kid that ski schoo must happen or sharing the 2.5 hrs of childcare whilst Mr Know it all gets his way?

If ski school was always part of the deal why would that change now that you are there??

This

PuttingDownRoots · 08/02/2023 09:57

@garlictwist the instructors generally speak English to English kids... you specify language.

When DDs were learning in Austria the instructor did it in German, Italian and English (and the little gaggle of 5yos spoke a hodgepodge by the end of the week)

croupy · 08/02/2023 09:58

Maybe he just doesn’t want to do the same thing day after day… I’d have hated ski school.

youshouldnthaveasked · 08/02/2023 09:59

He will behave within the boundaries he is set. Sounds like a spoilt brat to me and I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time on your lovely skiing holiday it sound’s truly dreadful

ImAvingOops · 08/02/2023 10:00

It's totally irrelevant that this holiday would be some other posters' idea of hell - it isn't for the child! He loves skiing, he just doesn't love ski school! But skiing can be dangerous and if he wants the fun elements then he must put the work in first, to be safe and not cause harm to others!
And parents are allowed to have some fun on holiday too and not constantly have to pander to their kids' whims. She hasn't dragged him in a skiing holiday kicking snd screaming !

DeadOrchid · 08/02/2023 10:01

Dotjones · 08/02/2023 09:41

I think you need to call his bluff and just let him crack on. Sometimes the best way kids learn is through their mistakes. I remember when I was about 7 I stuck my finger through the guard on the electric fire to touch the heating element. I learnt very quickly and painfully not to do something so blatantly stupid. It's the same for your child, insist he wears all the safety gear and a helmet but just let him ski if he's so convinced he knows it all. A few near-misses and he'll realise his capabilities might need some fine-tuning.

Show quote history

And what if he injures someone else? That ok with you? He needs to be in ski school - it’s even more important for an over confident beginner.

Mumoffairy · 08/02/2023 10:03

DeadOrchid · 08/02/2023 10:01

And what if he injures someone else? That ok with you? He needs to be in ski school - it’s even more important for an over confident beginner.

Show quote history

Yes, he could seriously injure or kill someone/himself!

Bournetilly · 08/02/2023 10:03

He needs to be in a more advanced class, it will be boring if he’s more advanced than the others. Can you not change this?
Also if you can only do greens then would you not also benefit from lessons? How are you going to take him out in the afternoons if you can only do greens and he’s wanting to do the reds?

Monster80 · 08/02/2023 10:04

If he loves skiing and is relatively competent, then off to ski school he must go. Surely this is similar to wanting to go in the deep end of the pool when you can’t swim. Could the siblings and OH reason with him?