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Original poster

Secret Single behaviour - the joy!

144 replies

crochetmonkey74 · 07/02/2023 20:28

Today at work we were having a chat about Vanessa Feltz and how several of us can remember the heartbreak. We are now a little group of singletons. One thing that we all agreed on was all the little things you can now do with no partner. Some were really funny or silly. My colleague wears flesh colour pop socks with her shoes for work. For her entire marriage she took them off in the car and stashed them as she felt deeply unsexy in them and didn't want her husband to see them! Other colleague loves farting with gay abandon round her house now her boyfriend has gone. I think for me I love not having to think about/cook food every night. I can just eat biscuits or cereal. What are your favourite secret joyful single behaviours?

OP posts:
butterfliedtwo · 07/02/2023 23:54

Peace and my own space. Not having to let anyone know where I am.

Mamanyt · 08/02/2023 00:01

I'm retired, so my entire life changed! For the first time in decades, I am able to get up at 5:00 in the evening, and stay up until 8 00 (GOOD GOD...MY COLON KEY HAS QUIT WORKING!!!) in the morning! I'd been denying my natural biorhythms for so long that I'd forgotten how nice it is to be fully awake!

MintJulia · 08/02/2023 00:09

Being able to use empty butter wrappers to grease baking tins when I'm making pastry or cakes. 😁

I keep them in the fridge until I need them. Ex used to throw them out, saying I was tight or 'low rent'. He couldn't understand that if I grease the tin with a butter wrapper, it's easier and less messy than if I cut butter off the block and rubbed it around with my fingers.

He was a raving snob about the most peculiar of things. He didn't like me having an outside washing line either. He thought that was 'low rent' too.

MintJulia · 08/02/2023 00:16

ImWearingReallyJudgyPants · 07/02/2023 23:31

I also like eating soup straight out of the pan, thereby saving the bother of washing a dish.

I thought I was the only slattern who did this when no-one is looking. 😁

RobertaFirmino · 08/02/2023 00:53

Laughing at the suggestion of 'buttoned up women' - these are quite clearly women who were moaned at when they 'unbuttoned' but now live a moan-free existence and needn't bother with buttons at all. Bloody good for them and for anyone who has managed to rid themself of a Whiny Mc Whineface. Crisps for tea and unlimited farting for all!

RobertaFirmino · 08/02/2023 00:55

Oh and BTW, eating straight from the pan is much better for the environment!

jay55 · 08/02/2023 00:57

Being able to book a holiday without having to align with his annual leave(and wait an age for him to book it so the airline sale is over).

Agree on the having just toast or crisps or crumpets for tea. Opening said packet of crumpets and knowing there will still be some left when I want some more.

I've been alone so long now that I mostly forget the joy of the small things. But I know I never want to live with anyone else again.

Teaandtoast3 · 08/02/2023 02:40

I agree with not having to think about what you’re cooking for dinner 100%. Or even if he was cooking… just having to have the conversation is draining.

Still currently living with Ex for the next month ish. I’m sure there will be more things that I will enjoy and I can’t wait.

I can’t wait to have some time off and just have to think about me when he has the kids!

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 08/02/2023 02:42

PacificallyRequested · 07/02/2023 21:05

I think people who won't fart in the presence of their partner are weird.

Some of is were raised to be private and dignified.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 08/02/2023 02:45

MrsHughesPinny · 07/02/2023 21:24

@PacificallyRequested I think it’s fairly disgusting for anyone to fart in front of anyone else. Just as I wouldn’t want to go to the loo or vomit in front of anyone else or witness the same myself! It’s just basic politeness and dignity.

Exactly.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 08/02/2023 02:47

lightisnotwhite · 07/02/2023 21:30

We have never moved in together. Married 4 years now. Best of both worlds.

Sounds ideal.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 08/02/2023 02:48

UWhatNow · 07/02/2023 21:38

I’m not having a dig @ghostyslovesheets I’m genuinely baffled how a group of singularly buttoned-up women have found each other. That list of examples of things they ‘can’t do’ around their male partners is seriously lame. If you’ve got the right man you should feel comfortable to do anything around them imo and you are certainly not obliged to cook or ‘be responsible’ for grown men!

Why come here to step on others' enjoyment? If you can't relate, perhaps just skip over the thread?

704703hey · 08/02/2023 02:58

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 08/02/2023 02:42

Some of is were raised to be private and dignified.

Show quote history

I wouldn't do it on purpose but that does sound a bit prancy! I set off really early yesterday morning with a breakfast only of coffee and did a mini one, felt some slight embarrassment. It was sort of system gurgling as it was 6am on caffeine. It's not an intrinsic loss of dignity. It may have been too quiet to hear.

Umm, single things...at the moment I'm with someone but I really like the utter peace and quiet of a solitary walk and not having to tell anyone where you are. And chattering away to your friends without mentioning partners.

Soonenough · 08/02/2023 03:21

Being able to have some leftovers knowing he won't eat everything
Clean countertops
Having the TV to myself as he monopolised it with boring violent stuff
Cheaper groceries as no alcohol
Tidy bedroom and bathroom now
Not hiding clothes purchases
Eating chocolate if I want to

Tlolljs · 08/02/2023 03:38

The house is definitely tidier.
Can do want you want, when you want, or nothing at all.
But mostly just the peace and quiet.

spuddel · 08/02/2023 04:02

Happily married but was just thinking an hour ago this very thing! Have had insomnia for weeks so am up and down making herbal tea and fetching books, trying not to disturb dh. Was remembering my lovely single days flat and that blissful feeling of closing the door on the world at the end of the working day and just padding around contentedly doing whatever I wanted, as noisily as I wanted. Also loud, late phone calls with friends and wine. Still do that mind you Grin

nettie434 · 08/02/2023 05:03

Not having to pretend to be asleep when I have insomnia and being able to listen to podcasts to help me fall asleep. No cook dinners like buttered crumpets. Wearing tatty clothes if cleaning.

These are definitely going to put me in the 'singularly buttoned up group'. Not a whiff of the going on a solo abseiling holiday about me! I miss sharing a cup of tea in bed though.

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 08/02/2023 06:07

Those thread has really helped me . I'd say I'm a 50/50 enjoying my single life and missing a relationship so hearing all these little joys has really helped

OP posts:
SummerWinds · 08/02/2023 06:46

The best thing about MN in my opinion is these type of threads. Women in charge of their own happiness, such a breath of fresh air and a beautiful example to our younger generation.

rothbury · 08/02/2023 06:49

Not being expected to engage with someone else’s toxic/mildly irritating family.

Not having to compromise on anything.

I feel very fortunate.

sandgrown · 08/02/2023 06:52

In a few weeks I am travelling solo to see a friend who lives abroad. Last time was pre Covid with my ex and teenage son . Really looking forward to not being responsible for his packing ( he was useless) all the passports, tickets etc and paying for everything!

Stayingstrongish · 08/02/2023 06:55

MintJulia · 08/02/2023 00:09

Being able to use empty butter wrappers to grease baking tins when I'm making pastry or cakes. 😁

I keep them in the fridge until I need them. Ex used to throw them out, saying I was tight or 'low rent'. He couldn't understand that if I grease the tin with a butter wrapper, it's easier and less messy than if I cut butter off the block and rubbed it around with my fingers.

He was a raving snob about the most peculiar of things. He didn't like me having an outside washing line either. He thought that was 'low rent' too.

@MintJulia my ex couldn’t get this either! He thought I was just being strange even when I explained it to him. He deliberately threw away loads of my fairy cake wrappers too while ‘tidying up’ - bizarre as those don’t go out of date. And yet he was never tidy with his own stuff!

Stayingstrongish · 08/02/2023 06:59

Not having random purchases brought into the house cluttering it up, the cardboard boxes discarded everywhere because he couldn’t be arsed to put them in the recycling.

Not having to sit with the in-laws in their house every weekend, nice as they are sometimes I wanted to do something else!

Not being moaned at for things he felt should be done differently with the kids or round the house.

No snoring!!

aurynne · 08/02/2023 07:05

Oh my god, yes to all of these.

Burping and farting loudly.
Wearing socks in the house, no one to tell me they don't look sexy (why do men assume we want to be sexy?)
Shaving if /when I feel like to.
My hair all over the bathroom floor.
Eating chocolate whenever I want to with nobody asking whether I "really need it".
No one interrupting me while I read an engaging book.
Jumping in my campervan and going for a mini holiday without having to consult anyone else.
Bringing a friend home whenever I want to. And kicking them out of my bed whenever I want to if they snore or toss/turn too much.

GramCracker · 08/02/2023 07:15

I love this thread!

There is much pleasure in the little things and I agree with most of what has already been said - it's the letting go without any observation.

Let the washing up sit for a day if I'm busy; let my mouth hang open with cheesy nachos as I laugh at shit on TV; let my body ebb and flow with the yearly and monthly cycles without sucking it in ever; let my cards fall wherever they like and let that wind take me away... OH THE UNBRIDLED BLISS!

I know I'm not usual btw, I have tried relationships in the past and realised fairly early on that I was simply happier on my own.

UWhatNow - go and piss on someone else's bonfire.

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