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Original poster

Secret Single behaviour - the joy!

144 replies

crochetmonkey74 · 07/02/2023 20:28

Today at work we were having a chat about Vanessa Feltz and how several of us can remember the heartbreak. We are now a little group of singletons. One thing that we all agreed on was all the little things you can now do with no partner. Some were really funny or silly. My colleague wears flesh colour pop socks with her shoes for work. For her entire marriage she took them off in the car and stashed them as she felt deeply unsexy in them and didn't want her husband to see them! Other colleague loves farting with gay abandon round her house now her boyfriend has gone. I think for me I love not having to think about/cook food every night. I can just eat biscuits or cereal. What are your favourite secret joyful single behaviours?

OP posts:
Wingingit11 · 07/02/2023 22:25

Love all the answers above. Really reaffirms the peace I’ve found in accepting single life recently. I love being single now after a traumatic end to marriage and don’t see myself ever going back. Can completely focus on me (and children)

FOJN · 07/02/2023 22:26

But no woman has to cook every night or hold their farts in or wear sexy stockings... sorry, have I woken up in the 1950s?

And also...

All of those things you could happily do around the right man…

Isn't the idea of the right man or 'the one' a bit outdated. In an outrageous development women seem to be quite capable of being single AND happy, disgraceful, I know.

And why have you assumed all the posters are straight women?

I think sexist stereotypes are more entrenched in your mind than anyone posting here.

EVHead · 07/02/2023 22:26

Never having to pretend I liked the food he cooked.

Buying new stuff for the house without him moaning about money.

Getting a dog.

Living where I choose, rather than following him for work. Again. Again.

Borris · 07/02/2023 22:30

Book holidays to wherever I want to go.
Put pictures that I like on the wall with no discussion

BigBadBoom · 07/02/2023 22:33

Bloody hell, some weird responses to this thread. Buttoned up women...WTF??

I am married, and happily, but I still love the odd occasions I get the house to myself. What's so weird about that? Living with other people is about compromise to a certain extent. When I'm in by myself I enjoy eating something I like but the rest of my family wouldn't enjoy e.g. tuna nicoise. And I'll watch any old shit, or read my book in silence. And probably drink too much red wine. Bliss.

Ultraninja · 07/02/2023 22:33

Sometimes I imagine a poster sitting on their phone frantically typing away and looking like they've just sucked on a lemon. 😂
When I was single I enjoyed really suiting myself about when and what I ate. Not that I was expected to do all the shopping, chopping and cooking, just that when there are two of you it makes sense to think about what you're going to eat and eat it together.

Toiletfriend · 07/02/2023 22:33

We have split but are sharing a house till the divorce has done through. Can't wait to have my own space again! Amazing!

Wedonttalkaboutbrunomars · 07/02/2023 22:34

I feel like a lot of these are things I love about being married as DH and I are pretty comfortable with each other and enjoy each other’s company. But when dating certain exes I would have to listen to them bang on about work, get upset when I just wasn’t in the mood for sex, have to do all cooking and washing up together (I know. Lesson well and truly learned).

when DH is away I enjoy..drinking wine and eating crisps instead of dinner, taking up the whole bed, watching things he wouldn’t like on TV, inviting my friends over for a girls night, bringing toddler Dd into bed with me rather than spending an hour soothing her…

DonutsAreNotLunch · 07/02/2023 22:36

not having to listen to someone snoring, after 16 years of it I can finally sleep properly!

Hoolihan · 07/02/2023 22:38

I'm not quite there yet (still living together until house sells) but already feel so free!! Bed to myself (I sleep so well now!), no sex EVER AGAIN, don't have to eat mushrooms anymore, no longer obliged to feign interest in his hobbies/work/family, I can spend all of my money on myself, do as I please, go wherever I like.

MargotMoon · 07/02/2023 22:40

Go out when I want, come home when I want, eat/sleep/exist in peace.

Not have to listen to bullshit or drama or excuses.

Soproudoflionesses · 07/02/2023 22:41

crochetmonkey74 · 07/02/2023 21:25

The chat and listening thing is interesting.
I don't miss coming home with my news to have it over ridden by his

Show quote history

Agreed.
I know so much about dh's day and he knows so little about mine

Madeintowerhamlets · 07/02/2023 22:41

FOJN · 07/02/2023 22:26

But no woman has to cook every night or hold their farts in or wear sexy stockings... sorry, have I woken up in the 1950s?

And also...

All of those things you could happily do around the right man…

Isn't the idea of the right man or 'the one' a bit outdated. In an outrageous development women seem to be quite capable of being single AND happy, disgraceful, I know.

And why have you assumed all the posters are straight women?

I think sexist stereotypes are more entrenched in your mind than anyone posting here.

Ha ha, love this! So true 👏

givingupchocolatemonday · 07/02/2023 22:42

Eating whatever I want and not feeling like I look too greedy to go for seconds! I would never dare with my ex he would of thought I was a pig!
Also not having to answer to anybody if I'm on a night out etc! The panic I would feel if my battery died!

WetLettuce2 · 07/02/2023 22:46

Telling everyone I’m making a banging Sunday roast dinner - but it’s unexpectedly sunny so I go horse riding instead for 4 hours, then down a bottle of Chardonnay and a multi bag of crisps and fall asleep until Antiques Roadshow and no one’s gonna tell me otherwise.
Love love being single.

Backtoblack1 · 07/02/2023 23:02

Being able to snuggle up
to the dog without anyone getting jealous! Prefer him to all men I’ve been with! 🤣

Gagagardener · 07/02/2023 23:02

Interesting thread. My contribution is tangential and personal.

I had a long and difficult first marriage. Husband died. So I was single and had (just about enough) time to work.out if that was what I wanted. Decided No; found someone who had made same decision. So in our early 60s we married. We annoy each other greatly at times; but we put up with that for the comfort we get from not being alone. But on nights when he goes out, I eat crisps/chocolate or drink red wine like a defiant teenager.

Last week I was ill, so He left the marital bedroom for spare room. Having the room to myself brought back those desolate feelings of having no one beside me who minded if I were well or ill. And He both cares for and looks after me.

Of course, the difference now is that the likelihood that I shall be widowed again is real, and by then no one will want me to share their lives. So I rejoice that, for now, I have a husband who cares for me in all sorts of ways - because we both think a meal or a bed share brings comfort and solace.

hidethenips · 07/02/2023 23:22

I alternate positions on the sofa every night and spend most of it listening to music as opposed to watching anything. My ex 'owned' our TV as I couldn't afford to go halves on it at the same so I always had to sit at the dining room table in the evenings if I didn't want to watch what he was watching (cannot fucking believe I'm typing that!!!) now I have a gorgeous plum coloured sofa and matching footstool.
I go to the gym most evenings because they have a gorgeous sauna and I always wake up feeling refreshed because I haven't had someone tossing and turning next to me all night.

ImWearingReallyJudgyPants · 07/02/2023 23:29

God, the list is endless, isn't it?

I also like being able to blow money on whatever I like, without any conversation or consultation. The first thing I did post divorce was buy a convertible. We had always had a sensible Volvo estate, which I hated.

Not having to put up with anyone else's batshit family is also a great bonus.

As is not having big shoes hanging around the house. I have small feet so my shoes don't take up much space. Ex had size 11 feet and his shoes were like barges.

ImWearingReallyJudgyPants · 07/02/2023 23:31

I also like eating soup straight out of the pan, thereby saving the bother of washing a dish.

Coffeeandcatsforlife · 07/02/2023 23:32

Absolutely bloody everything, I LOVE being single! No third “child” to clean up after, can eat what and when I want, bed all to myself-just me and the cat. Shave when I want to/rarely! I just adore single life.

jacult · 07/02/2023 23:34

userxx · 07/02/2023 21:19

Why, it's rank. I don't want want to be smelling someone's shit particles 🤮

Show quote history

Do you keep your toothbrush in the bathroom?

VeganFromSveden · 07/02/2023 23:44

judgypants, I don’t live alone, but I use glass saucepans… so eating soup (or anything else that is suitable) from the pan is something my darling has got used to over the years.
I really don’t see the point of pouring from glass into another bowl that I’ve had to have warmed… and creating yet more washing up.
he sometimes side eyes me, but mainly he humours me, and it’s a case of either live and let live, or that he loves me so much, and my bad habits are really a small thing set against all the love laughter and joy we share.
must admit tho’, we both enjoy our own space from time to time, and it’s great to self identify again.
it makes me even stronger as a person, and then when we do get back home to each other, it’s a pleasure and not a dread…
I’m so glad for those of you that were brave enough to go it alone, and are reaping the benefits.
I’ve had bad relationships in the past, and totally believe that singledom is way better than a bad relationship…. even with sole responsibility of dc(s).

drinkingcream · 07/02/2023 23:46

Farting whenever!!
Having the whole bed to myself
Wearing trashy pj's
Having coffee every morning in silence sitting in my bed
Taking a poo without having to worry about the smell!
Leaving my clothes where I feel like
Watching what I feel like when I feel like it
Yes...it's a blissful life most times but I do miss the comfort of having a partner. Not sure if I could live with anyone again though.
Lovely thread btw!

butterfliedtwo · 07/02/2023 23:50

ghostyslovesheets · 07/02/2023 21:53

You aren't challenging 'male ideas of femininity' your coming on a light hearted thread lecturing single women - those who don't want to co-habit with men - about their use of language (maybe directly related to their experiences of living with ass holes) and the fact that actually enjoy that they don't have to deal with that bullshit anymore! Read the room

I was at Greenham !

👏👏

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