Secret Single behaviour - the joy!

[crochetmonkey74]

Today at work we were having a chat about Vanessa Feltz and how several of us can remember the heartbreak. We are now a little group of singletons. One thing that we all agreed on was all the little things you can now do with no partner. Some were really funny or silly. My colleague wears flesh colour pop socks with her shoes for work. For her entire marriage she took them off in the car and stashed them as she felt deeply unsexy in them and didn't want her husband to see them! Other colleague loves farting with gay abandon round her house now her boyfriend has gone. I think for me I love not having to think about/cook food every night. I can just eat biscuits or cereal. What are your favourite secret joyful single behaviours?

Watching whatever I want on TV.....well after the goblins have gone to bed! Also cuddling my dogs constantly without a bloke getting jealous!

Only thinking about me or what I've done or want to do.

No: what shall WE have for dinner, shall WE paint the house this colour, shall WE go here on holiday, can WE get the time off work. If I cant be bothered to eat dinner I can make cereal at 11pm without having to have a boring conversation to "let him know" because we normally eat together. Ir I can buy a thousand bedding sets without a question about whether we need more. And eating in bed. I'd hate to do that with him but it's a real treat alone!

I'm married but when DH goes away I love seeping like a starfish on the bed. Leaving the electric blanket on on one side of the bed and shuffling over if I'm cold.

Having the tv remote control to myself.

Having mates over for a sleepover

Just coming and going as I please spontaneously without having to tell anyone

Basically not having to consider anyone else every time I want to do something.

Letting the house get messy sometimes and not caring, or letting myself get messy sometimes! On the other end of the scale spending hours in the bathroom pampering myself and reading without interruptions. A sense of freedom and being responsible for myself and my happiness. And I'm with you op on the no cooking sometimes, marmite on toast for dinner is the best x

I’m not having a dig @ghostyslovesheets I’m genuinely baffled how a group of singularly buttoned-up women have found each other. That list of examples of things they ‘can’t do’ around their male partners is seriously lame. If you’ve got the right man you should feel comfortable to do anything around them imo and you are certainly not obliged to cook or ‘be responsible’ for grown men!

Not shaving my legs daily!

Haaa! Love this thread! Though my other half and I have a morning competition as to who can fart the loudest when we wake up (it’s like the gas builds up overnight and makes that first one super loud and satisfying!) Whoever is the lame fizzler gets up and feeds the cats. Sorry to ick the parp prudes out 😂

I think for me, it would be the four times a day that I’m asked what we’re having for dinner that night (I now write it on the fridge and yet still get asked multiple times!) and being asked what I want to watch on tv, only to have every suggestion shut down. And not having to hide share the chocolate.

The deep joy I feel when I've cleaned the house and I know it's going to stay that way.

Blissful uninterrupted sleep. Every. Night.

Not having to listen to his non stop dramas.

Being able to go out where I like without dreading coming home to him being in a mood.

Not having to listen to his non stop farting which he found hilarious.

I could go on all night 😂

buttoned up women - brilliant!

Reminds me of another thing I like about being single - not having to taken on board silly opions

Oh behave yourself.

I do all the cooking in my house because my husband does more of the housework and all the bins etc. If I just decided I couldn’t be bothered to cook because I “wasn’t obligated” that wouldn’t be fair to him. Just like if he decided he couldn’t be fucked with emptying the dishwasher that wouldn’t be fair to me. Most couples have their own roles within the house, doesn’t mean we are somehow beholden to our partners somehow.

that was actually my ex-husbands attitude - didn't have to run things by me, discuss things like decorating or plans - I'd never live with another adult and not share the load, ask what they wanted to do/eat/paint the walls - that's part of being in a partnership - as a single person I love not having to spend mental energy having to do it!

No in-laws. Loads of cats.

Sorry Shirley I won’t ‘behave’ if that means submitting to sexist stereotypes and pandering to male ideals of femininity.

I love most of it to be honest. Decor, food choices, quietness, my choice of noise, temperature, no mess. Having friends round again , my Ex was extremely unsociable.

I was happily single until I was 30, after an 18 year marriage I’ve been very happily single for a few years now.

I don’t have to go on day long intrepid walks/adventures all year round anymore, gentle walks, yoga, gym and swimming is it for me.

Life is just much more relaxed than it was when I was married.

Yes this is my best bit. Going up to bed early with a cup of tea, but not necessarily going to sleep until I feel like it.

When I was single I enjoyed food shopping for the week with 1 basket and making delicious but simple ingredients last all week.

Oh give it a rest for goodness sake. People are talking about little things that have given them a small amount of joy after a break up. You're just trying to hoover up all the nice atmosphere.

I do all the clothes washing in my house, my partner does all the cooking. If we broke up my small amount of joy would be not having to do a wash and hang it out when I can't be bothered. Just as his would probably be not having to cook tea when he's not in the mood.

It does not mean anyone is pandering to male ideals of femininity.

You aren't challenging 'male ideas of femininity' your coming on a light hearted thread lecturing single women - those who don't want to co-habit with men - about their use of language (maybe directly related to their experiences of living with ass holes) and the fact that actually enjoy that they don't have to deal with that bullshit anymore! Read the room

I was at Greenham !

I think farting is hilarious, so I rather miss not laughing at someone else's farts.

However, the good things are: not having to eat properly, ever. Not that I always did the cooking, but there was the whole thing about sitting at the table, having a proper meal (especially when the DC were at home - I kept it going until they left, and still do it when they come back from university holidays).

Getting to choose all the furniture, decorations etc, so it's all my taste, not a compromise.

Being able to have the house cool. Ex husband used to turn the thermostat up all the bloody time. I like it at 16 degrees absolute max, and he wanted it in the 20s. It made me feel ill.

Having my own music on.

Not having to please anyone in any way whatsoever.

No snoring.

Not feeling that I should be doing "my share" of the cleaning and tidying, as I am chronically untidy and am happy to stay that way.

Going to bed as early or late as I like.

Being able to go out and see whoever I like, whenever I like (okay, I should have been able to do this anyway, blah blah, but ex h was always passive aggressive about it).

No Dressing Gown of Doom.

The list is endless, really. The only things I don't like are having to do the bins, deal with spiders, and put petrol in the car.

I’m happily married but I miss having a bag of crisps and bottle of wine for dinner. I feel like I need to do a family meal (can’t serve my kids that).

I miss Sunday afternoons just lying on the sofa.

For me it's my dogs , I love sitting on the sofa watching something good or crap and having them cuddled up with me.
I like not having to feel motivated to do something all the time or he will be bored , some days I love to just be in read , mooch around and walk the dogs
And not having to chat pointless rubbish

THIS

The celibacy, grateful that I don’t ever have to have sex.

Not having to worry about looks, my self-esteem and worth are highest when I’m single.

All the decisions are mine to make.

It’s clean, smells nice, the quiet, the peace, harmony, safety (in all aspects you can imagine), only your emotions to deal with.

Peace, peace, peace.
Nothing beats the peace you have when you’re single.

I’m with a partner now but when I was single I used to love an evening to myself where I would either cook myself a nice meal, have a cba dinner or take myself out to eat at a local veggie cafe. Also loved going in to central London straight after work & going late night shopping, having a coffee & dinner out.

Just to add I know you can do all of the above when partnered up but it’s just the pure freedom of not having to think about anyone else & just pleasing yourself!