Taking a house you don’t really want?

[Balloonblower8]

I live in an awful area with violence, anti social behaviour and bad neighbours. It’s not where I want to raise my children as it’s got worse since we moved here 4 years ago. The local schools have gone downhill too and are rated some of the worse in the U.K.

I have the option to take another house half an hour away with better opportunities, it isn’t perfect and it’s fairly small, but it will mean an easy escape from this dreadful place.
If you were me would you take the house for these reasons? Have you been in this position and moved somewhere you didn’t really want just for a happier life?

Do it and don't look back. It's a smaller house so do loads of decluttering . Think of you children they deserve better and so do you . Think of their future . Good luck

This . And i bet people treated you better too .

Is moving a much further distance away not an option at all?
You mention private rent being £2k a month so whilst you would be paying less in a HA property it is still likely to be a lot each month?
I don't know about your work and family commitments I just think that paying that much in rent each month to live on what you describe a rough area with poor schools seems crazy
I would seriously look into a complete relocation to a nicer area with mucb lower rent and better schools
I appreciate that this would be a huge move but a worthwhile one

What do you mean by violence?

I'd rather live in a shit house and feel safe walking to my front door in the dark than live in a beautifully designed mansion where every time I go out/come back, I'm terrified someone is going to jump me. The saying is 'location, location, location' for a reason.

It really depends on how serious the antisocial behaviour is. I would try to spend time near the new house, though (bring friends for safety!) to make sure I wasn't moving to a worse house with the same social problems.

Do not underestimate how much relief you will feel to not hate your neighbours. You might find it has a massive impact on your current stress levels (which sound very difficult to cope with).

Good luck!

If the new house is in a better area then you have a bargaining chip as someone from another decent area may want to downsize.

No one in their right mind would give up an HA or council property to move into a private rental.

An HA tenancy is almost completely secure; the landlord isn’t going to suddenly need to sell up and make you homeless, leaving you at the mercy of the open market and landlords who don’t actually want families as tenants.

You will adjust to the reduced space. Once where you are moving to is not too remote I’d take it if I were you. Good luck.

But you get a choice as to where to live, unlike op who apparently has the choice of Hellhole no. 1 or Hellhole no. 2.

Move definitely!

Go look at the area different times of the day. My friend just left a bad area to move to a better one smaller house garden she hates the house and is now trying to move again but not been having any luck. Good luck

You’re in a much better position than a house owner who can’t sell their house because it’s in an awful area, and therefore can’t buy one in a better location.

She needs the space for her family that’s what’s keeping her in the current house! What don’t people get about that.
You need to think about which affects your mental health and family more. Better area and prospectives sound great but is it more important than feeling cramped and living on top of each other which will end up having an impact on other things

Lmao that’s crazy working their way down!?

She's scared of her neighbours, scared for her children 🤷🏻‍♀️

Only op knows if a bigger house is worth that.

The thing with the ha also is if they re house you you don't get anything to choose from usually. They offer you something, if you refuse they move you back down the list.

I took my second option when offered as the neighbours saw me viewing and came out to talk to me. I took it. It wasn't the best area and still isn't but I am grateful to have decent neighbours.

The first one was next door to smack heads. The second one wasn't ideal but I couldn't risk the Theo's one being any worse if you see what I mean.

I’d wait. As it’s not the HA offering you aren’t going to take yourself off the list by saying no. Presume you can decline as many times as you want with a mutual swap? I wouldn’t swap unless it’s a fair bit better area. As you could be going from one nightmare situation to another. At least now you’ve got space, and that’s a good bargaining tool for an exchange. So I’d hold off. You don’t have to wait for the perfect exchange but a better area. Maybe do some research on area’s and check out where the HA properties are. Get a bit of a list together of areas you like and would consider

If area is better and local schools better and maybe you will be less stressed and won't need anti depressants anymore. I'd move and put up with a bit less space.

To be honest OP I think this is one time that only you can sensibly judge whether to stay or go.
Can you really cope with the stress of a much smaller house? Sheds can accommodate a bit of storage but there's stuff that can't be put in sheds/garages.

Perhaps all your family should go round en masse to have a look round, subject to the other person being happy, just to get a feel of you all squeezing it at the same time.

Difficult choice- frying pan and fire comes to mind.
If you do make the move how difficult would it be to start looking for another swap straightaway? Or is that not an option? Sorry if you've already covered this.

I think op is quite deluded if she thinks someone with an equally large house in a decent area is going to want to swap with hers in her shit area.
Either accept moving will involve some sort of compromise, or accept staying where you are. Or private rent; then you get to choose.

Location is everything. Move as soon as you can. Good luck.

I would, yes. I will do anything to be away from noise and anti-social behaviour. I would be prepared to move to a remote part of Scotland and work nights in a local Tesco so long as I could have fields and trees and silence. Given the choice between a big house in the middle of a rough estate, and a small caravan in the middle of a field, I’d choose the caravan. I cannot bear noise. Living near ‘nightmare neighbours’ is one of my biggest fears.

I get it OP. You're worried you're jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire and that this new house will be worse and the new neighbourhood won't be much better.

Exactly. The majority of people on this thread are working on the assumption that the alternative house, though small, is in a place guaranteed to be safe and lovely.
Yet OP has clearly said that it's also in a dodgy area. But she would be escaping the particular neighbours that she fears.

She's worried because it could turn out that the neighbors in the new dodgy area could be just as bad, and she and her kids be in the same position but in a tiny cramped house that needs loads spending on it.

I suspect that most people here are pontificating from their spacious homes in safe middle class areas where they've never had to make this kind of decision.

Sadly OP doesn't have any of those options. Instead she's been offered the chance to move to another dodgy area.

Some of the replies on here aren't helpful; nasty and thoughtless.

I live in HA. I understand. My current neighbours are a dream. There is no pride in the garden etc but compared to anti social behaviour I see in other areas I feel very fortunate so far. Some HA people are just the pits in their behaviours and it is an awful predicament to live in.

I totally understand your feelings. It may be the same or worse so you're hesitant. I would absolutely do as suggested and go visit the area a few times and walk about where you can. I doubt it will be worse. It may not be amazing and yes accept there may still be the typical HA issues on the street, but it feels like this has come up for a reason.

Getting away from the psycho neighbour sounds good enough reason alone tbh!

A big house and garden isn't the answer to contentment. My place is very small but I'm super lucky to have peace and quiet and it has a huge impact on my well being. I'm also significantly less stressed by having less things, less clutter and easier to clean.

Before deciding, knock on the doors of the new neighbours and say hello and have a little chat.
This will give you a good idea of this is a good move or not.
Also park up in the road for an hour and just watch & see what the neighbourhood is like