Taking a house you don’t really want?

[Balloonblower8]

I live in an awful area with violence, anti social behaviour and bad neighbours. It’s not where I want to raise my children as it’s got worse since we moved here 4 years ago. The local schools have gone downhill too and are rated some of the worse in the U.K.

I have the option to take another house half an hour away with better opportunities, it isn’t perfect and it’s fairly small, but it will mean an easy escape from this dreadful place.
If you were me would you take the house for these reasons? Have you been in this position and moved somewhere you didn’t really want just for a happier life?

Crazy.

Why is this even a question on MN.
OP should Grab this chance with both hands..It's a complete no brainer?!

because I’m letting other people ‘win’ by leaving a house I love to move to one that isn’t great
Staying in an area that scares you and makes your family unhappy isn't "winning", by any stretch of the imagination.

No brainer, if it's really affecting your mental health that badly get out ASAP

We see so many posts from people who are stuck in awful unsafe areas with dreadful neighbours. You have a chance to get out - take it.

Other posters will know the various websites where you can get info about neighbourhoods, if you are dubious about what the current tenants of your new house say.

I'd move to the smaller house with a view to it being temporary, so don't go nuts with decorating to your taste, just smarten it up, then put it back on the house swap website for an exchange for a larger house. People do downsize, especially in this climate and you'll be in a better area so will have a more desirable house as a potential swap :)

No house is worth your mental health. I’d be going to the street/s the new place is in today and walking around and getting a feel for it.

You state your current area has you ill, stressed and on antidepressants. The neighbours are antisocial and unpleasant and you are afraid for them.

Trust me, smaller garden and smaller rooms with little storage space is small beans compared to a place like a war zone where you are afraid for your children's safety (as well as your own and DH's I presume). Once you are in new house you can keep looking for somewhere else, you can do that just the same from a safer neighbourhood than from a hellish one.

It seems like a lot of hassle moving house and moving the kids from their school, but it's better to do that for an improved quality of life, isn't it?

I understand why you're anxious. At the moment, you know the area where you are even though it's shite, so it's a jump into the unknown to a house that's not 💯 right for you. However, once you move to the better area, a few years down the line you might be able to do an exchange to a more suitable house. Take the new one, get away from the shit area then give yourself time to breathe.

I’m not putting anything before my childrens safety thank you very much! We’ve only had a day to consider if it’s a good move, I don’t want to put my children in another situation where we could be in a dangerous area again so I have to weigh up the options instead of being irresponsible and instantly saying yes!
We have viewed the house and area and I’m not confident it’s much better hence why I posted to see if I’d be making a mistake or not, it’s not just about the house size that was only listed as part of the pros and cons I was asked about

Thank you mabelface this is exactly my concern, it’s the unknown and risk of having to move constantly as everywhere is dangerous. If I could move today I would but I want to make sure it’s safe and suitable for us too.

Ok. You said in your op the other house was in an area with better opportunities, so I assumed there was some advantage in moving.
If you're convinced it's just another hellhole there's certainly no point 🤷🏻‍♀️

Your posts are starting to not make sense now @Balloonblower8 In your OP you said the new area is better and the opportunities will be better and you want to escape the toxic violent crime ridden area you currently live in. Yet in your subsequent posts (especially the last 2,) you seem to be talking yourself out of moving, slating the new house a lot, and don't seem like you want to move at all.

What on earth was the point of you posting this thread?

How long do you have to either accept or reject the swop?

@Balloonblower8 I would suggest that if you have time/transport, you visit the area at different times of the day/night and on different days. Maybe knock on some neighbours doors and speak to them about the street.

I don’t understand the question. If as you say, moving to this area will give you a happier life, then surely you do want to move there?

If you’re brave enough you could say where, maybe other mnetters can give you their experience of the area.

To be honest if it's a better area then I'd definitely move. You don't have to stay there forever and other opportunities may come about when the kids get older and your circumstances may change and you may be able to rent privately, do shared ownership or even buy somewhere yourself.

I rented from our local council about 15 years ago now it was awful then I got with my partner and so we just rented privately then when my Nanna died and left some money we were able to put a deposit down on our own place.

I think you have to focus on now not afew years times when the kids are bigger.

If the area isn't that great renting privately would be your other option

@Balloonblower8 I can totally see why you are hesitant. You don't want to move your family to another house where there are issues too but you're all in a smaller space that isn't as nice too.

I think when you're in a bad situation it can make you worry about making snap decisions through panic.

I agree with others that if you have time, go and visit the area again, maybe at different times of day and do some research.

Ultimately though, it sounds like the move will be better for all of you.

I'd be very dubious about why the person in the new house wants to swap for an area with a reputation like the one you live in.

The new place is smaller and not aesthetically pleasing. That is why the OP is reticent to move but failed to convey this appropriately.

What are the crime stats like in the new area?
www.crime-statistics.co.uk/postcode

Will people stop being arseholes ffs. Honestly, there is no need for the way posters are treated on threads like this. It's a way to process our thoughts and talk things through.

Thanks chupachump I appreciate the replies that can actually help me. The area is an improvement on this one, prison is an improvement on this one, but there’s still a chance I’m going in blind and will have the same situation. Once the move happens it’s done and there’s no going back. We can’t afford to private rent as it’s £2000pm. The woman at the new house has family opposite me and approached me when she saw my advert. Not everyone is bothered about living in a dump it seems.I’ll leave the thread now as for some reason it’s turned into a witch hunt that I wouldn’t move without researching first, but I’m grateful for all the kind helpful replies I’ll take them on board and have a think today.

Exactly what I came here to say! If your in a smaller house yeah you will want bigger but surely you wouldn’t go bigger in a shitter place? You’d stay small and keep looking. That makes me think that this new area is no better. Therefore if the areas are both as bad as each other then surely it’s just down to the house.

how bad is the anti social behaviour in your current neighbourhood @Balloonblower8 ? Is it all HA? Can you find out if the council and HA have plans to improve the area through evictions etc? It could be that the area may get better with time.

can you speak to your local police community liaison officer and ask their opinion on the new area compared to current? Also areas can decline xx

It happens!
A mum at DS's school yrs ago after break up got housed on a Council estate {Teen kids}
She hated it, but swapped for a tiny flat in a far nicer area {Housing association}.
She took the hit on no garden.
The swapper wanted to be near her family on the Estate.
Win win!