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Original poster

To think that boys groping girls is not part of the 'the normal sexual dance' but is sexual assault?

111 replies

Clymene · 05/02/2023 11:03

There's an article in the Sunday Times today by a psychologist saying that Me Too has gone too far and lots of teenage boys are suffering.

She said: “I like #MeToo and would like to give the woman who started it an award but I think it has gone too far. Now any boy who puts a hand on a bosom because he is slightly drunk and has not asked is being in danger of being ostracised and shamed. Girls are viewing teenage boys as aggressive predators. So the normal sexual dance that has gone for ever now seems not OK. Boys are losing their feet.”

This woman seems to think girls should stop making such a fuss because boys went through lockdown so they're all very immature. We don't know what she thinks about the impact of girls going through lockdown as she doesn't seem to be interested in them.

If boys lives are being 'wrecked' because they sexually assaulted a girl, my suggestion is that they don't sexually assault girls.

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/ac7c5012-a40e-11ed-9d5c-69bd3c5b98b3?shareToken=3491fa7737a645108929eebc50b420322_

OP posts:
JennyDarlingRIP · 05/02/2023 11:05

You're not wrong

StephanieSuperpowers · 05/02/2023 11:09

Girls don't exist to educate or facilitate boys.

LifeIsJustOneBigWTAF · 05/02/2023 11:10

Boo hoo hoo to boys/men finding out they can't just do whatever they like to women/girls. What fucking planet is this journalist on?

Jedsnewstar · 05/02/2023 11:11

That is absolutely shocking. I wonder if she has sons and not daughters.

Lottapianos · 05/02/2023 11:11

'Girls don't exist to educate or facilitate boys.'

This

FourAndTwentyBlackbirdsBakedInAPie · 05/02/2023 11:12

"Now any boy who sexually assaults a girl because he is slightly drunk and hasn't asked is in danger of being ostracised and shamed"

GOOD.

Makes a change from girls being shamed for being sexually assaulted, although we all know that will happen regardless.

crackofdoom · 05/02/2023 11:15

"Puts a hand on a bosom".
Jesus, is this man a practising psychologist??

crackofdoom · 05/02/2023 11:16

Omg, I read it again. It's a woman?!

Dontblinkatme · 05/02/2023 11:16

Straight boys and men understand consent perfectly when they’re around gay and bisexual boys and men, they aren’t immature or unsure or similar in those situations.

Timesawastin · 05/02/2023 11:16

Jedsnewstar · 05/02/2023 11:11

That is absolutely shocking. I wonder if she has sons and not daughters.

Because mothers of sons are all misogynistic shites, yeah.🙄

bellac11 · 05/02/2023 11:18

This is why when people talk about what a psychologist or psychiatrist has said as if its gospel, I roll my eyes.

Sapphire387 · 05/02/2023 11:21

Appalling article. This makes me so angry.

Whattoexpectnext · 05/02/2023 11:29

NOT a psychologist. Psychotherapist. Different. Trained in one or two taking therapies. Not a trained Clinical Psychologist.

Also a female psychotherapist, not male.

I think an unsolicited grope is completely unacceptable and a throw back to women being the property of men. Everyone should feel safe that they are not going to be touched sexually without consent. All people should be treated with respect.

That said, I do feel that boys need education around sexual relationships. The messages out there are confusing. Porn and even ordinary programmes like Friends give old fashioned misogynistic messages.

It’s not up to women and girls to socialise boys, but the adults in their life need to help them to learn how to manage themselves in relationship to others.

As a wife, and mother to a boy, I do think it is a confusing time for boys and men as they lose their bestowed power and have to redefine themselves and their worth. That DOES need talking about. They are human, with feelings and have a right to be heard. NOT, of course, at the expense of ensuring equality and safety for girks and women. It’s both/and, not either/or.

Original poster
Clymene · 05/02/2023 11:29

Jedsnewstar · 05/02/2023 11:11

That is absolutely shocking. I wonder if she has sons and not daughters.

I'm the mother of a teenage son. He knows not to grope girls because I've raised him to think that sexual assault is wrong.

OP posts:
minihitch · 05/02/2023 11:30

That said, I do feel that boys need education around sexual relationships. The messages out there are confusing. Porn and even ordinary programmes like Friends give old fashioned misogynistic messages.

As someone who works with teens I agree with this. The Times article is wrong but things are very confusing for young boys & girls.

Herewegoagainandagainandagain · 05/02/2023 11:43

There has been a backlash on older boys and young men but not in the way the writer describes. Obviously any sexual assault is very wong and never to be tolerated, the backlash is boys and young men are being treated with constant suspicion when they have done nothing wrong - look at the other, incident unworthy, thread this morning where it appears on Thursday night in a local pub a young man was simply confused trying to find the gents and op is prompted enough to open a thread about it this morning, days later, wondering "what was this man up too?" 🤦🏻‍♀️

Whattoexpectnext · 05/02/2023 11:45

*talking therapies
*girls

gah!

BethFromThisIsUs · 05/02/2023 11:46

Wow

Toomanywaterwipes · 05/02/2023 11:47

God, I realise I don't actually know what's allowed anymore. Can you lock eyes with someone and kiss or does there need to be formal permission now? Thank goodness I'm out of the dating game.

Of course any sort of groping or sexual assault is very wrong, but that article also speaks of allegations against a boy who brushed against a girl in a lunch queue....was this an assault? It could be of course, depends on intent, but I can see why boys are afraid to move now too.

SweetSakura · 05/02/2023 11:48

Yanbu

blubberyboo · 05/02/2023 11:49

My 11 year old son went through lock down and he gets involved in me talking about stuff like this with his sister. He knows not to grope a girl

this writer is talking horse shit

Summerhillsquare · 05/02/2023 11:50

@whattoexpextnext what do you mean by boys "lose their bestowed power"?

Original poster
Clymene · 05/02/2023 11:50

Herewegoagainandagainandagain · 05/02/2023 11:43

There has been a backlash on older boys and young men but not in the way the writer describes. Obviously any sexual assault is very wong and never to be tolerated, the backlash is boys and young men are being treated with constant suspicion when they have done nothing wrong - look at the other, incident unworthy, thread this morning where it appears on Thursday night in a local pub a young man was simply confused trying to find the gents and op is prompted enough to open a thread about it this morning, days later, wondering "what was this man up too?" 🤦🏻‍♀️

What thread?

OP posts:
YouAreNotBatman · 05/02/2023 11:50

Women like her angers me beyond words.

I’m not religious, but I wish hell is real and there is a special place for women like her.

How does one even become this much anti-women as a woman herself is incredible.

Does she have sons? Some, SOME, boy moms are known to be coo-coo-crazy.

Babdoc · 05/02/2023 11:53

I was one of the first online commenters on that article, and said my sympathies remained entirely with the girls who had been groped and assaulted.
You wouldn’t believe how many handmaidens and men rushed in to bleat about the “poor boys” being wrongly accused!