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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Or was I, to tell this miserable child-hating git at a restaurant where to go today

67 replies

SaveScrabulous · 07/02/2008 14:13

Went out to lunch with ds (2.5) to a restaurant today. Just the two of us for a treat.
Ds goes out to eat reasonably often and is usually very well behaved.

Ds was so good, but made miaow noises once (as you do when you're 2 but they were not loud) and the grumpy git two tables away looks up and stares. I ask ds to be (even) quieter which he does. A little later ds got the giggles a couple of times, not even that loudly. Again every time, grumpy git clearly looks up and stares in an annoyed way. I hear his dining companion (presumably his wife) say "oh come on, he's only laughing". So clearly it wasn't just my imagination/ paranoia.
No one else in there was remotely bothered and I don't see why they would be - ds stayed sitting in his chair the whole meal, not running around and didn't do anything else loud at all (too busy scoffing his pasta and ice cream!) and I spent the rest of the time trying to work out whether to say anything to the grumpy git.

At the end of the meal I went over and calmly said "I'm so sorry if my son's jollity seems to have spoilt your meal a little". To which he replied "Yes it did a little but thank you for coming to say that - it is good of you" (no sarcasm on his part)
To which I said with deeply sarcastic tone "well it's very sad that you feel like that" and walked off.

Ok so this was not McDonalds, it was a gastro pub but it was reasonably busy, there was jazz music on so the room wasn't hushed. It is not Gordon Ramsay ffs. ARGH! I am only just calming down now. A*hole man.

OP posts:

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 07/02/2008 14:16

I am sure his wife will have given him what for!

Of course you know it was your fault for thinking you could take a child out somewhere?!?!?

mustsleep · 07/02/2008 14:18

which restuarant was it i will bring my kids if you see him there again and then he'l know about his meal being spoilt!!!!!

Wendyjayb · 07/02/2008 14:19

What a grumpy old git

Well done you for saying something

luminarphrases · 07/02/2008 14:21

yes, well done for saying something, i never do. and i always find that it's the people making the most noise/braying constantly, that glare at children who dare to do anything

lazarou · 07/02/2008 14:22

YOu forgot to stab him in the eye with your fork

itsahardknocklife · 07/02/2008 14:22

I'm glad his wife thought he was being unreasonable too. I bet she does give him Hell when they get home!
Don't let the grumpy old git ruin your day.
And your son is welcome to come and miaow next to us in a restaurant anytime. We probably wouldn't notice it over our son shouting out incoherent noises. Ah the joy of a 15 month old!

HalleBerrysBikini · 07/02/2008 14:23

Not fair at all. Poor DS. If I'd have heard him making miaow noises I would probably have looked over, smiled and miaowed back at him.

Sycamoretree · 07/02/2008 14:27

What a fucker. I can't bear this type of attitude. It's like they think children don't have any rights to function in society like everyone else. I'd have poked a tissue up DD's nose whilst she had a mouth full of chewed pasta so she sneezed all over his food.

binkleandflip · 07/02/2008 14:28

I personally wouldnt have bothered going over at all - why did you feel the need to validate it? Because his reply has only wind you up more clearly!!

FWIW, my dd is pretty well behaved in restaurants - but when she is a bit loud then I have to decide if I am being unreasonable in expecting other diners to put up with her or if she is just talking at normal adult level albeit about daft and childish things (quite naturally) IYSWIM, which is of course totally reasonable.

nametaken · 07/02/2008 14:39

YANBU - I really hate this kind of behaviour and personally think a lot of it stems from

"well I couldn't afford to take my kids to nice places when they were young so i don't like it if anyone else does"

miserable old bar steward

etchasketch · 07/02/2008 14:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

SaveScrabulous · 07/02/2008 14:41

Lazarou - it was a close call between what I actually and encouraging ds to fling a fork his way, or sending ds over to maiow really loudly right by grumpy git's table!

Binkle - Not wound up by his reply - it merely confirmed what I already knew and frankly I would have been more wound up had I not said anything.

Had not have said anything to him. In fact I might even have apologised genuinely.
If ds has behaved badly or been loud or howled in restaurants in the past I have taken him outside out of consideration for others however he really was doing nothing wrong in my opinion.

How can someone object to him laughing? That is what has annoyed me Binkle.

OP posts:

Kimi · 07/02/2008 14:42

Oh I hope I meet him next time we go out to eat, he would love my 11 year old who has tourettes and squeaks,clicks and makes a sort of horse noise at the moment.

DS1 is very good about people like this though and says I have a condition is there something you would like to ask me?

etchasketch · 07/02/2008 14:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

SaveScrabulous · 07/02/2008 14:44

I got the impression he was a regular as seemed to know the staff...maybe we could organise a full-blown kiddy invasion next time i pass the place and see his car there (I noticed it as it kind of suited him but am not going to say what type it was as don't want to offend anyone!)

OP posts:

Kimi · 07/02/2008 14:50

Well next time you see the car, post the location and we will all rush down with our kids and any stray ones we can get on the way.

If I go out without my children and I do not want to be bothered by other peoples then I co somewhere child free, I can never understand the people that go to family places then moan that their are kids there.

harpsichordcarrier · 07/02/2008 14:52

he probably has Erectile Dysfunction
either that or a very very small one

Original poster

SaveScrabulous · 07/02/2008 14:55

I'm SO glad I actually said something - normally I'd have just left it. Ok so I won't change his pompous ways but at least he realises (or his wife might have and tell him) that he spoiled MY meal with his arsey behaviour.

OP posts:

Lauriefairycake · 07/02/2008 14:55

I think you were unreasonable.

All he did was 'look' at you in what you thought was an irritated way. He can 'look' anyway he damn chooses just as you can 'think' he's a grumpy child-hating git

Save your breath for when someone actually says something.

You approached him and said something sarcastic because he looked at you - he was equally sarcastic back - what exactly was gained in all of this?.

Some people don't like children - but he didn't say anything to you until you spoke to him.

Strap on a pair for the real battles........but go softly with ordinary tossers

All only my opinion so feel free to ignore.

Chequers · 07/02/2008 15:17

Message withdrawn

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 07/02/2008 15:20

I started a thread a couple of days ago about miserable people on our train who huffily left the carriage because the DC were just doing normal well behaved toddler things.

Some people are just miserable.

mcnoodle · 07/02/2008 15:29

Have had similar in a supermarket. Ds (2.5) singing quite happily and munching on (pre-bought!) raisins.

A woman actually came over and said to him 'hush, hush, hush, there's no need for all that noise'. I couldn't keep quiet, so said to her 'He is 2. He is having fun. He is not causing any problems for anyone else'. In my best 'how very dare you' voice.

GAGHGGGGGGG! I was thrilled that he was behaving so well and not demanding to run up and down the aisles pretending to be a racing car.

itsahardknocklife · 07/02/2008 15:31

cor I woulod be very pleased if my little man sang and ate raisins in the supermarket. Sadly that is not the case and he wants to run everywhere!

Chequers · 07/02/2008 15:32

Message withdrawn

itsahardknocklife · 07/02/2008 15:33

how sweet

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