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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to join a positive ante-natal thread??

45 replies

babygooner · 07/02/2008 13:18

I KNOW I'm going to get flamed for this.. BUT I am due in Oct this year and I looked at the antenatal thread for Oct as I thought it would be nice to follow this with a group of other people due in Oct but I'm afraid I'm really put off.. Of course I'm as concerned as the next person about how things will pan out but I don't want to spend the next 9 months in a state of total anxiety. I'm aware that lots of people have been through m/cs and have had very sad experiences before so of course I should absolutely bear that in mind, but it just brings me down to see constant 'oh my god, i've got no symptoms, there MUST be something wrong' type threads all the time. I'm being a bitch aren't I? Yes, I am.

Perhaps its the nature of forums like these that people who have concerns/worries are more likely to post. And actually if this forum doesn't suit me maybe I should just bugger off. Rambling now.

OP posts:
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 07/02/2008 13:19

Lots of people get terrific support and some even make lifelong friends from the antenatal threads.
Perhaps it is you who has the wrong attitude?

Shizaru · 07/02/2008 13:20

YABVU.

Sooner or later your hormones will kick in and you'll be upset or angry over something or nothing.

hunkermunker · 07/02/2008 13:21

I think you're not unreasonable for wanting to talk positively about pregnancy.

But yabu for putting other people down in the process by starting this thread because even though you've spelt out that you feel differently about people who genuinely have reasons to post negatively and those who are just going "OMG, attention-seeking there's nothing wrong but there might be because there's no sign of anything wrong so that's a problem in itself isn't it?", you'll still be flamed.

However, I don't think you should leave MN over it. Congrats on your pregnancy. I hope things continue smoothly for you.

captainmummy · 07/02/2008 13:21

Enjoy your preg I say. Oct is a great time, not too hot, not too cold, nice early nights so you can get them off to sleep (ds1 October 2oth lol)

OracleInaCoracle · 07/02/2008 13:22

YABU, a lot of women on mn have had difficult pg's and mc's, this affects the way you feel when you find out that you are pg again. I understand that you are excited, but a lot of the women who are on that thread are very worried. its early days and will no doubt settle as the weeks pass, but afraid you have to accept that they have every right to be scared and freak out.

policywonk · 07/02/2008 13:22

Maybe you should start one? (Not being sarky - if that's the sort of thread you want, start one and see what happens?)

meemar · 07/02/2008 13:23

why not start a thread with a jokey title and start some general chat. People will get the gist of the thread and people who have worries or anxietys will post somewhere else for advice.

You don't have to stick to the one antenatal thread.

OracleInaCoracle · 07/02/2008 13:23

oh, and im one of the women getting upset on there, and i've now had to leave. so im sorry if i upset you, but i defend my right to worry in the early days.

Shizaru · 07/02/2008 13:24

Could you also change your name. Gooners suck

meemar · 07/02/2008 13:25

ahem anxieties

flossish · 07/02/2008 13:25

Yup, sorry YABU (from one completely barking neurotic once pregnant lady who was completely and utterly precious and paranoid and generally annoying during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy with DD following just the one m/c).

MAMAZON · 07/02/2008 13:25

i hope you don't have anythng that bothers you during this pregnancy, or if you do you dont wish to post it here as it will offend the other mums who wish to only hear postive things

NorthernLurker · 07/02/2008 13:26

Hmmmmmm - of course the reason to join ante natal threads - or indeed any regular thread is twofold - to receive support and celebrate what's happening yes - but also to offer support and care to your sisters in this experience. So everyone on your thread is terrified right now? Fine - you pull them through it and believe me - they will pull you through the same - and much, much more!

Shizaru · 07/02/2008 13:26

s'alright meemar, I was just assuming you were typing in medieval English

cosima · 07/02/2008 13:27

the oct an thread is there and you are free to join or not join in as you wish, or join in and try and influence it to your own gains. yabu. i would like a friend, who is not working, not boring, to come round and entertain me, make me some lunch and then leave before its time for me to go out and probably bring me a tasteful baby present. Am i being unresasonable?

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 07/02/2008 13:27

Why not join that thread anyway and be positive. You will soon find others are the same, and if there are those who are anxious it helps them to see people with a positive attitude.

littlelapin · 07/02/2008 13:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 07/02/2008 13:29

lmao @ shizaru

LadyOfWaffle · 07/02/2008 13:30

As someone said, why not start a thread for pregnancy chit chat? Dunno what you could title it - as someone said, something jokey as not to be like "worriers, bog off!", but..."pregnancy idle chit chat thread - stress now allowed?" I dunno, waffling now, but I don't think you'd be unreasonable to start a thead like that.

Dropdeadfred · 07/02/2008 13:30

Hmmm//I can see a thread titled 'Oct antenatal for those not worried about anything and not those who will put a downer on it for us talking about their previous mcs' not really going down too well.

Congrats on your pgy.

MAMAZON · 07/02/2008 13:32

yes start your own thread.

but don't expect anyone due in October to join it as you have probably just offended them all

VictorianSqualor · 07/02/2008 13:32

I love my antenatal thread(due april 08), I think everyone of us has had problems at some point, or even just worries/concerns, it's great to be able to share cos tbh, no-one else is really going to be as interested as someone who is at the same stage as you.

You can also talk about soemthing that ahs absolutely nothing at all to do with being pregnant and guarantee that these peopel will rally round you, it's a great support network, you should try it, honestly, you can take your pick of which posts you reply to and get some very good advice.

Unfortunately with all antenatal threads so many people join that it is inevitable some will miscarry, it's a horrid time, having people come on and say they are leaving because they miscarried the other day, its scary and its sad, it also makes you realise how lucky you are.

Also being due in October means you are what, only just finding out?The threads do get less worrying once the first lot of scans are out of the way.

NorthernLurker · 07/02/2008 13:33

mamazon - I would be surprised if there's much 'probably' about it - more like definately!

Original poster
babygooner · 07/02/2008 13:33

I'm obviously being unreasonable, I can accept a consensus of opinion and the consensus seem to be yes, YABU. I'm sorry if I offended anyone, I didn't mean to do that. I guess I failed to emphasise properly that I wanted to talk positively about pregnancy rather than not talk negatively about it IYSWIM. Lissielou - I obviously have really upset you and I'm very sorry. I've never been good at putting my feelings into words well and so in retrospect shouldn't have posted. Perhaps its my hormones.

{Gooner does not refer to my choice of football team btw Shizaru!}

OP posts:
Shizaru · 07/02/2008 13:34

Are you sure??????

And if not, WTF gooner???