To place flowers on the grave of someone I don't know?

[ChocChipOwl]

There's a back story of course. I'm not a random weirdo!

My DH thinks I'm mad but I think this is a nice thing to do.

I like researching social and local history and I'll do it for the various places I've lived. I'll use online searches etc and research a place / person and it's all quite interesting

Anyway, I live in a very small village and was researching a local house when I found a postcard dated 1915 which was sent to a lady who lived round the corner from me. I researched more on her, the area etc

She died in 1917 and is buried 0.2 miles from my house in the churchyard

I've now finished this particular research and wanted to put some flowers on her grave. She has no living relatives as her daughters were both 'spinsters'

Only a three quid bunch of tulips. My husband thinks bonkers but I think just a nice token of .. appreciation? Esteem? Not sure

I'd remove them in a week so nothing festering in there

So. A weirdo? Or nice?

@gogohmm there are no rubber bands or plastic as per several previous comments

I think it’s a bit odd if I’m honest, but you’re not harming anyone, so if you think it’s a nice thing to do - go for it.

I think it's lovely. Her life has touched yours. Why does one have to be a relative or lifetime friend to leave a thoughtful gesture? I'd probably wait until I had some.flowers in my own garden though, and cut and leave them.

A very kind gesture, I’d do it.
I don’t think it’s weird at all.
When visiting my parents grave I will walk around with a watering can and top up plants on graves in the summer for people I don’t know. Or stand the plants up again if they’ve fallen down.
A little bit of human kindness goes a long way

I agree with some other posts, if it’s not a kerbe grave you could even plant some bulbs to come back each year

Well I think it would be a lovely thing to do, OP. I sometimes walk through a huge Victorian graveyard and will say some of the names aloud (especially if its a rickety and overgrown grave) and wonder if I'm the first person to have spoken their name in a century.

Lovely thing to do. Things like this make the world a nicer place.

And now I'm sniffling.

Someone asked how to get started - sorry I can't see your user name now!

Well, if you like social history, a good starting point is eBay. Just put in the name of your village/town/ point of interest and 'postcard'

That'll bring up old postcards, usually written , so you have a name and address. You can then see what people were up to over 100 years ago in your (very) local area, who lived where etc etc using find my past and/or Ancestry

Be warned - it's a potential rabbit hole!

A kind and thoughtful gesture. Go right ahead.

@ShittyPeasantsFromHampshire that's lovely

A person hasn't died until their name is said for the very last time

'@ShittyPeasantsFromHampshire . That's such a lovely idea. I'm going to do that in future.

Oh and to buy a letter or posts card on eBay is very cheap. I pay about a quid or 2

I also buy the odd letter. Currently waiting on delivery of a letter written from a grandfather to his grandson. Back in 1854. So that's my next mini project

Our church is surrounded by a historic graveyard. We sometimes get requests for information about the gravestones. When I reply with a photo of the gravestone I put flowers in front of it. There's usually flowers I can pick from my own garden but in winter I'd buy a £3 bunch.

I don't see why you would really, I don't think its kind or sweet or nice, as pp have said, but equally I don't see why you wouldn't, if it's something that you want to do.
I can't imagine why anyone would have any strong feelings on it whatsoever. It doesn't mean anything at all either way.

Wow these posts are making me teary.
Theres some truly lovely mums eaters out there.

Mumsnetters 😳

I lost both my parents in recent years. I went to the graveyard and found flowers on their grave. I was so touched and grateful that someone else thinks of them so I say yes, put flowers on graves, not everyone decides to be offended.

And actually, writing this post and reading the responses makes me wonder if I'm more predisposed to this sort of thing right now because I lost my mum and dad within weeks of each other in 2019.

I'm not particularly sentimental and my parents were both cremated. But if they were buried, I personally would be so touched and thrilled to see a flower on their grave from a stranger.

This. 💜

I’m not someone who sees any meaning in graves. I lost both parents recently but only rarely visit their grave. Last time I went, someone had placed a pot on there with plastic red flowers in it. Now that was offensive 😂

we have this all the time.
My parents are buried with all their church friends. So I know a lot of people around them.
Was sitting on a bench last week and noticed one of my dads mates grave right next to me.
I don’t live near but when I’m there there’s always flowers on the grave I don’t recognise.
Someone has obviously put them on, it’s lovely to know if I can’t be there so much others are thinking of them

It’s weird because it’s completely pointless.

This is why the film Coco is so gorgeous, because it’s so true!

It makes me bawl but the message is wonderful.

I agree, planting some flowers would be much nicer

@Thatshipsailed it is a pointless gesture I suppose. Nobody would know apart from me.

But does everything in life have to have a point to it? Dunno