To think we’ve lost sight of what a healthy child’s weight should be?

[Winniethepoohandtiggertoo]

Walking through town today as kids were leaving school and I was quite shocked by the size of them (primary kids). But then I noticed that so many of them were overweight that in a way it isn’t surprising that maybe their parents haven’t noticed or realised there is a problem? When I was little kids were skinny things, now it seems the norm for them to be built like shot-putters! I know a few parents with overweight children but they insist they’re ‘strong’ or ‘solid’, or ‘they run around so much they just burn it off’. When so many kids look like theirs it probably isn’t surprising they think that?

Yeah. Same.

digital.nhs.uk/news/2022/national-child-measurement-programme-21-22

@Realfastfoodie I agree

I also think that obsessing so much over size is not healthy. It's better to encourage a more active lifestyle and a balanced diet. So much fat shaming on Mumsnet.

I am sorry, but if your child looks fatter than the average child in her class then she is probably overweight. Because these days the average child you are comparing her to is also overweight.

YANBU, it's a ticking time bomb really as it's one of the first generations where lots of children are overweight and obese at a very young age, we don't really know the toll it will take on their growing bodies or what affect the additional strain will have into adulthood. There are a plethora of reasons and its not as simple as children are eating too much because they want to, but by an large overly processed food is plentiful, people are not as active as once were and as it becomes taboo to talk about for fear of offending people it becomes the norm.

Its been that way for a while . You see old photos of groups of kids in the past, 60s, 70s, 80s and they look skinny.
At my DCs last Yr 6 sports day it was noticeable that a significant number of the kids looked big. Mainly girls.
In one family one parent was a dietitian, the other a PE teacher, with 2 overweight DCs - I couldn't fathom that one.

The thing that sticks out in the portion you have quoted is that it is harder to maintain weight today even at the same level of food intake and exercise as 20-30 years ago - if this is true then what is happening?! I know for me I have difficulty losing weight and gain easily due to health conditions (hashimoto and pcos) but we are fighting a losing battle if that is true.

@viques and your answer to this problem is????

She plays tennis, swims, gymnastics, healthy diet at home. Like I said, I can't control the amount of exercise at school but she says that they don't move much. Even PE isn't that vigorous. Yes, it's a problem but what do you do? Fat shame these children? Make them feel so bad about themselves that they feel negatively about themselves?

My now nearly 14 yo went through a phase of being overweight. I was concerned. His father's side of the family are prone to weight gain and (unlike my older son who has my body type) from a baby you could see he was always going to be more sturdy.

Honestly, I had trouble getting people to understand that he was overweight and that I was concerned. Most people dismissed it as puppy fat or that he would soon shoot up, and while I know that can be the case, I am also aware that there is an obesity crisis and ignoring it was not the right thing.

We did make some food changes at home, he has shot up and become interested in nutrition and sport (always played football, but now loves the gym) and he is bang on target now.

My point is that it seems to be that any mention of concern about weight is so easily dismissed. I did need to tread carefully as the last thing I wanted to do was to make him feel bad about himself or introduce unhealthy patterns of eating. I framed it as US benefitting from making some changes to our eating habits, not for weight but for overall health.

It's not fat shaming to acknowledge its unhealthy to carry excess weight aka fat. Even if someone doesn't have any health problems caused by their weight, it alone in itself puts additional pressure on the body and someone's organs. I agree no one should be shamed for their appearance or made to feel less than because they are fat, but it's also disingenuous and dangerous to not be able to acknowledge or discuss the fact that its a problem.

Im always slightly bemused when people say their overweight child does loads of exercise, eats a healthy diet and never has junk food. I know metabolism counts for a lot but never eating junk food doesn’t result in overweight children.

My Aunty is a paediatric nurse and she sees overweight children whose parents swear blind they never consume anything that isn’t super healthy and they exercise all the time every day. She says almost all these parents say this. It can’t be EVERY family who has a mysteriously overweight child

A couple of years ago I bought a set of rather old plates from a charity shop, and the lady serving me commented that they were much smaller than the plates you get today. And it's true. Massive plates came into fashion a decade or two ago but the original idea was that they would look fancy but you still had the same portion size. But most people now fit the portion to the size of the plate.

(A bit like how massive wine glasses were originally supposed to be used for the usual 125ml measures, but give the wine space to "breath" (and look fancy) but a lot of people now fill them to the brim and convince themselves they've "only had two glasses of wine" when they've effectively had six.

I have two younger dc both are given the same meals and have the same activity level, one is very skinny and the other is a completely different shape and quite a stocky build. They've always been different and that's just what they are.

I also have an older ds who was very chubby throughout his pre-teens but grew into it and shot up to 6ft4 and is now as skinny as a rake. He never had a poor diet even when he was rounder either.
Unless they over eat, have a particularly poor diet or activity level let them be.

I'm glad you've posted this because I was starting to worry my 2 year old is too skinny. We have ended up having to buy all her winter trousers from France this year to get ones that were long enough but skinny enough to stay up. Sainsbury's clothes especially seem to be made for very stocky children. I was almost considering sneaking extra butter into her meals to bulk her up a bit but the health visitor says she's fine. But it is hard to gauge what's healthy and what's not.

She's probably eating too much, it she genuinely isn't then it's important in a few years once through puberty she gets her thyroid checked.

It doesn't surprise me the average dress size has gone up. In the past there were all kinds of serious illnesses and less knowledge about nutrition.

Everything should be in balance, yes be healthy and eat healthy. Also exercise should be daily and prioritised. It's unhelpful to shame people about their weight though.

My DD doesn't eat majorly healthy and isn't particularly active. She's a healthy weight though, I've checked. She takes after her father who is and always has been desperately thin/underweight genetically, seemingly regardless of diet.

She plays tennis, swims, gymnastics, healthy diet at home.

@ShepherdMoons In YOUR opinion she eats a healthy diet at home.

How do you know you are on the right lines with her diet at home?
Your idea of what is healthy may not be.

You'd need to list every meal for a week and show pics of portion sizes for an opinion.

I am actually shocked at some of the threads on here about 'what have you eaten today' and see all the crap and the amount people eat.

So many people are either in denial over what is a 'portion' or they are uneducated about what is really healthy.

But you seem to be relying completely on exercise. It’s now understood that while exercise has some bearing on weight, the main influence on whether you are overweight or not is food - how much food, what type, snacking etc.

A lot of the overweight kids I know are out in their bikes on the estate from dawn til dusk, they’re still fat because they often ride along holding a can of pop or packets of crisps or go home at regular intervals for snacks.

@BrilliantUsername I totally agree, if they are following a healthy balanced diet and exercise then it's likely that it is just a phase.

My dh was fatter as a pre teen but then shot up in height so much in secondary school. He seems to think dd is the same, she's already a lot taller than everyone in her class.

It's patently not nonsense. Very many children now are fatter than children used to be.

Completely agree. I hated my children learning that certain foods were ‘bad’! It’s such an unhealthy way to think about food. Chocolate isn’t bad. Cheese isn’t bad. It’s only unhealthy if you eat too much of it.
Little kids can’t understand real nutrition choices - like processed vs unprocessed, salt content, etc. It’s the parents’ job to make choices for them. Eating healthily then becomes normal for them.
I see so many friends say their kids won’t eat this or that. No veg only pasta etc. But that’s because they offer unlimited snacks between meals! Why would they eat vegetables if they can have treat food instead? Some parents seem to think feeling hungry is a terrible thing. I think it’s fine to let a child get hungry before dinner. Then they’ll happily eat a good meal and feel satisfied. People confuse food and love. They think not feeding on demand is withholding love.

And yes dress sizes have gone up... but I'm a size 12-14 and yet my BMI is in the healthy range.

If it’s a choice between ‘fat shaming’ and being overweight with a life of health problems, I would choose the former to be honest. I would rather they were temporarily upset and spared the horrors of type 2 diabetes, furred up arteries, PCOS in the girls and heart attacks.

Congratulations for being fucking rude AND superior. What a gift you are to the world.