To think we’ve lost sight of what a healthy child’s weight should be?

[Winniethepoohandtiggertoo]

Walking through town today as kids were leaving school and I was quite shocked by the size of them (primary kids). But then I noticed that so many of them were overweight that in a way it isn’t surprising that maybe their parents haven’t noticed or realised there is a problem? When I was little kids were skinny things, now it seems the norm for them to be built like shot-putters! I know a few parents with overweight children but they insist they’re ‘strong’ or ‘solid’, or ‘they run around so much they just burn it off’. When so many kids look like theirs it probably isn’t surprising they think that?

And I think you are talking nonsense @smileladiesplease -

See this for evidence:

theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/09/why-it-was-easier-to-be-skinny-in-the-1980s/407974

“a study published recently in the journal Obesity Research and Clinical Practice found that it’s harder for adults today to maintain the same weight as those 20 to 30 years ago did, even at the same levels of food intake and exercise”.

Look - I see it with my own eyes - so so many more overweight teens especially girls. It is a thing.

Yup another thing you’re not allowed to say.
My DD does 12hrs of gymnastics a week but I still monitor her diet closely. Proof that you can’t out run a bad diet-there are several fat gymnasts in her club. Many of her co-gymnasts get KFC after every session and bring in sharing bags of crisps.

This highly addictive food is now available 24:7. If you’re NOT fat it’s a miracle.

We have such a snacking culture too which doesn’t help. It seems every social activity from baby groups up has to revolve around snacks. It’s as if we are scared to let children feel a little bit peckish.

I do think expectations are different- DS is 25th centile, and him and one other boy are literally head and shoulders shorter than the other kids in his class (year 1). I get loads of comments on how skinny and short he is - he is 9th centile for weight and 25th for height, so completely normal BMI and well within normal range at a population level. But in his class, definitely tiny.

The kids are much taller and more solid (lots of kids on age 8-9 clothes aged 5-6). Overweight parents, so I suspect as the kids get older many of them will end up properly overweight.

Thats simply not true.

I don't know what goes through people's minds sometimes.

I've got a friend with two young boys about 11/8 years old and they're both massive. I can see on social media what they eat as she always posts at the weekends and it's all massive portions of junk.

Totally agree. My 4 children all what I would call totally normal build but get called ‘skinny’ or ‘anorexic’. Even had DSD mother tell my DH in one of her rants that my children are malnourished! But the ironic thing is DSD is 9 yrs old and she is the malnourished one, she lives on a diet of beige junk and endless snacks and is obese, she’s wearing adult size 12 at 5 foot tall.

Her parents are buying their heads in the sand (yes DH included) I’ve given up trying to gently suggest things as it just gets met with things like ‘if I want to treat her when she’s with me then I will’ (Disney dad). She sits watching telly or playing on an iPad all day because then dh (and it’s the same at her mums) doesn’t have to bother with her. She refuses to come out if me and my youngest 2 are off out doing something so I’ve stopped trying.

Yep I can't get clothes to fit ds, he isn't tall for his age, age 6. He is still in 4 to 5 swim trunks and they still have to be tie front so they can be tightened. Ok in the summer when he can wear shorts, trousers are difficult, school ones are skinny extra long aged 5-6 for length and then tighten to the maximum. Anything the right length hangs off him.

dd is stockier than ds but still hard to get length required but at least dresses don't fall down if baggy.

I'm 64 and I completely disagree with you.

My DS (2y8m) is in the 75th centile for height and 91st for weight, but his ribs are clearly visible and he wears 2T size clothing. He feels way heavier than he looks (the health visitor was very surprised when she weighed him!), but he is definitely healthy.

I think if kids are active and eat healthily, worrying about weight is pointless. They have growth spurts and shoot up like weeds and often have "puppy fat" for no discernable reason.

I can see on social media what they eat as she always posts at the weekends and it's all massive portions of junk.

The problem is, these types equate it with “love”. They want to show the sheer abundance in their worlds - how much “fun” food is.

It’s all so wrong but if you comment on it (who would dare to!) you’re seen as elitist, or you’re told you have more money and time and choices or whatever… 🙄

Yes! It frustrates the hell out of me. Dd is slim and I actually thought she was underweight and worried because she’s so much smaller than her friends. When I took her to the dr to check everything was fine they looked at me like I was mad as she’s the perfect weight. It’s become so ingrained that kids should have ‘puppy fat’ when it’s not true.

Yep and to add I have to buy ‘slim fit’ clothes for my younger 2, they’re not slim they’re normal! My eldest is early 20’s and they’re the same build she was as a child and she never needed slim fit clothes, tbh I don’t think they existed, they’ve just made normal clothes into slim fit, so normal ones are now plus fit and plus fit are double plus fit!

Well YANBU but its pretty well known, isnt it? There was a meme going around a while ago comparing the Augustus Gloop character from the old and new Willy Wonka films, who is supposed to be hugely fat, showing the difference.

I’ve got one of these too. PE twice a week, swimming once a week, three other sporty extracurricular classes and runs round like a loon the rest of the time. Looks visibly slim (and I’m not just saying that…) ribs are visible, legs Twiggy would have been jealous of. And yet she’s 98th centile for weight, and from memory hovering above the 75th for height. She was a heavy, slim baby, a heavy, slim toddler and so the trend continues now she’s at school. My youngest on the other hand is built like a bird and weighs about as much as one too. Genetics have to play a part in there somewhere.

I don't think it's just children we've lost sight of either, I think adults are the same. People used to always comment on how skinny I was and I needed a decent meal, but I was mid BMI (I'm not now menopause has hit) and a healthy weight.

It's actually very frustrating for me as a parent to a child of healthy weight. This is because she has so many overweight friends around her that she thinks she is the unhealthy one! She thinks her arms are too skinny and knees too big etc. She judges herself because her ribs can be seen when she breathes in hard and she has a muscle line down the middle of her tummy. She's smack bang on the 50th percentile for weight and 90th for height. She looks great. But she thinks she's not normal.

No

Dangerous attitude

Many kids are overweight

Being overweight is a huge health problem

10% of the nhs budget is for type 2 diabetes alone - caused primarily by being fat
Instead of clapping for the nhs people could diet for them

Losing weight as an adult is almost impossible
Gaining healthy eating patterns is best done as a child

You are failing your child if you overfeed them . You are giving them in alll likelihood a lifetime of health problems and an early death

So many children are overweight it's so sad

Overall people have last sight of what overweight means in children and adults. I remember being criticised for being underweight at work, I’m 5ft 4 and weighed about 9 stone and a couple of pounds. It seems as if being slim can be criticised but being overweight can’t be. Everything is totally skewed and I see my overweight friends now slipping in to prediabetes as we all hit later middle age and then being offended they are told to lose weight.

I just found my old school photo from the 1980’s online with me in as part of the schools memories and heritage section! Not one child is overweight and I lived in quite a deprived area.

Agree - even though BMI isn't always accurate, you can clearly see that lots of kids are overweight, The parents are setting them up for a hard life of either health issues, or needing to constantly watch their weight.

Some of the parents are shockingly obese too and are passing that on to their kids.

I worry about this. My toddler is 'built'. I look at what they eat at nursery and it's constant food - meals and 'snacks'. We don't feed like that at home - it's 3 meals But I'm told that the food at nursery is to NHS guidelines.

My toddler came out a bruiser.....98 percentile for weight, around 75 percentile for length. DH is stocky. Following the 'curve' in the red book and toddler is bang on the line.

I'm told that it's following the line that is an indication of health. We're told that by HV that we're doing it right.

Thing is both DH and I are overweight - me by about 2-3 stone, so I have a niggling fear that people judge. I wasn't previously fat. DH has always been fat. It sounds silly but I feel a pressure now to get skinny so my child won't be judged in the same way. I just need to get my head sorted on a diet.

I know it's not a big issue right now in the age group - babies and toddlers are allowed to be chunky. But as they move to pre-schoolers and into reception, I do worry about how this will go.

I was a skinny child, as were my siblings and rest of my family.

Love this: instead of clapping for the NHS, people should be dieting.

What I don't understand is that people are so ignorant that they are harming their kids by letting them become overweight.

The desired size 12, is now the equivalent of today's size 8. So nothing has changed there. You were a today's size 4. I was overweight as a child/teen in the 70/80's. There were only two fat girls in our year, me and another girl. It's now an even split. I can remember when alcopops became popular, it did change the shape of older teen girls. Fast food hit around the same time.

I'm surprised that people can't get clothes to fit their children, though. My other GC is in the size for her age. Only in Next we have to size down one, but the clothes fit. You can see her bones and she would be described as slight.

But my child isn't being overfed. He eats healthily (5 a day, homemade, and correct portion sizes with limited sweets/biscuits). And he runs around all the bloody time, and when he's not running, he's jumping and dancing. Yet he is really heavy. His dad, grandad, and great-grandad are rugby builds and always have been.

So what am I to do?

My dd put in weight during lockdown. Not because of diet but because she was no longer swimming 3 times a week, doing ballet or just running around. I knew that once things got back to normal her weight would adjust which within 6 weeks it did. Where I live I don't see many overweight kids. It's quite a MC area and kids are very active and most involved in multiple clubs/ sports.