Neighbour outraged I ignored the door

[Scrumbler]

For context I've lived in my home for 6 years, I have a baby and we get on with our neighbours very well usually.

Yesterday someone banged on the door a few times and I ignored it. I never answer my front door because everyone who I'm expecting use the side door. We get a lot of cold callers and religious people who knock alot so I will never answer it.
Today I see my neighbour and his son has a bandage on and I asked what happened, he'd had an accident yesterday in the street, my neighbour said his wife knocked on my door at the time for me to call an ambulance because she's panicked and left her phone in her house so I said I'd heard the knocking but didn't know what it was.
He looked at me completely gone out and then asked me why I'd ignored her. I explained I obviously didn't know it was an emergency or I would have course answered. But he told me I was selfish and slammed his door as he went in.
I carried on taking my shopping out of the car and then his wife comes out asking if I'd ignored her! I told her I don't answer that door and didn't know it was an emergency but she just went mad shouting how horrible that was and asked what kind of person doesn't answer there door.

I know their probably still shook up but I didn't know what had happened.
To clarify, their child seems fine from what the dad told me before he found out I'd ignored the door and turned out to be a very minor injury. I feel awful it happened but I didn't ignore them on purpose knowing they were needing an ambulance so I think they've been a bit over the top.

How is it your fault that their son wasn't being supervised correctly and had an accident and his mother forgot her phone?

Did you... did you think the neighbours were claiming this? What an odd reading of the OP. I took it to mean the neighbours were upset at OP ignoring the door when they could have called an ambulance faster if she hadn't had a policy of never answering the door unless planned in advance.

If 999 didn't want to send an ambulance, they wouldn't. You can't always tell if it's minor. But yes, please do all wait til a lift drops off or someone dies before you call someone who is trained to decide whether to send an ambulance or not.

Poor neighbour - she was panicking and could have done with a friendly face to call for her while she looked after her kid.

I hope you actually try a bit of empathy and consider what you would like if something similar happened to you, your child or a family member.

It would be a shitty world if everyone had to be totally self-reliant at all times.

Perfectly reasonable for her husband to think you're a selfish weirdo.

I don’t disagree. The fact is that all we have is OP’s very, very biased perspective so it’s odd that people are so willing to accept her (invented) conclusion as a fact and give these people are hard time for something that OP has literally made up!

Having said that, I can’t imagine why OP would see an ambulance given that she hid inside and didn’t see anything else going on.

A house up the road from me didn't answer when I banged on their door not long before Xmas. They were in, I could see them, they just didn't answer.

If they had, they could possibly have got the water company out to the back up sewer/drain in their driveway which was overflowing and running into their garage before it did too much damage.

They just don't answer their door unless they are expecting someone.

If my door knocks I’ll always look through the hole before deciding whether or not I’ll answer. I would only open it if I knew the person/neighbour otherwise it’s a no from me.

Every time someone has knocked on my door that I wasn't expecting it has been either Jehovahs witnesses or a parcel for a neighbour who isn't in. If I'm busy or can't be bothered then I ignore it. Not sure why this bothers some posters so much? Very odd. I had no idea answering the door was seen as compulsory!

They are being really rude. I've never understood the 'you must answer your phone or door' - surely it's a choice not an obligation. If you mainly get religious people, cold callers then it makes sense you're not keen. If you live in a small village and it's likely to be a neighbour then less understandable unless, of course, you're doing something and you don't want to be interrupted.

I can't imagine how you thought that conversation would go when you volunteered that you'd ignored his wife knocking on your door so she could call an ambulance for her DC.

You say 'if I had known' but unless you are psychic you have no way of knowing why someone is knocking on the door .

Where are you seeing a bandaged head in the op? She says 'had a bandage on', no mention of where the bandage was?

I'm with you, @DinnerThyme
I think it's weird not to answer the door. Look out of the window or something first if you live in a sketchy area.
I remember a few years ago a pregnant neighbour knocking, she'd had an allergic reaction and wanted a lift to hospital. What if no-one had answered her knocking?.
It may be an axe murderer, but be neighbourly. You may need the favour returned one day.

I’m another who doesn’t understand the no answer thing. Obviously sometimes you can’t eg in a meeting. But generally I’d answer.
It might be an emergency or something that benefits you eg neighbour told me a parasol had blown on my car so I could remove it before it damaged car.

Surely everyone sometimes answers and sometimes doesn’t?

Mostly I do, but I don’t get out of the bath/ come off a work teams meeting etc just to answer the door. My family have a key. My friends text before calling round. I know if I am expecting a delivery.

Just say you didn’t hear the door?

The not answering the door thing is social anxiety ime. People are too scared/anxious to talk to people, and hide behind “my home is my sanctuary”, “my house my rulez” etc. Which I can understand, but struggle to tolerate (and I don’t in the two people I know like this). It’s selfish and self-absorbed, in the extreme.

Perhaps OP would have opened her door if the neighbour had also shouted through it 'help! I need an ambulance!' or something?
People can have many reasons for not wanting to open a door - previous attacks, wanting to avoid harrassment, bailiff dodging, scam dodging etc. It doesn't just mean they are antisocial.

I also had never heard of people not answering the door until I came on here. Looking out of the window and waving cold callers away, yes, but not ignoring repetitive banging. I always think about the women who've escaped from an attacker/kidnapper and what if no-one answered to them. The saddest story was one Christmas Eve when a homeless woman gave birth and the baby died from exposure before anyone opened the door to her.

I don’t understand why people don’t answer their front doors, I find it very odd.

OP you can’t get that many cold callers or religious people knocking to justify not answering. I think you are using this as a reason to try and excuse your behaviour.

"Banged the door a few times" would make me at least look out the window.

I would feel bad for not helping. Understand it wasn't deliberate and neighbour shouldn't have shouted at you. Did you apologise and ask after the child?ir have an attitude of "i dont answer my door and child looks fine"

Maybe Mumsnetters should get doors without knockers or bell, in very soft material, so that people knocking know they are the weird, I don't answer the door type?

The all new "mumsnet front door".

Although, I do feel this post has been made for a lot of "froth", ticks so many boxes.

Only on mn do people refuse to answer the door. Your example is exactly why you would answer the door. Never come across such bizarre door opening policies. I managed to open the door even with babies.

I find the insistence that OMG you MUST answer your door EVERY TIME or you’re weird / selfish / rude as bonkers to be honest. And suffocating.

If I opened my door every-time someone knocked I’d never get anything done and be repeatedly telling the local jehovahs witnesses/broadband sales man/crackheads to go away because to them an open door once is an invitation to knock every time.

Never yet have I missed one of these MN emergencies - and if someone knocked on my door to tell me my washing was getting wet, I’d think they had too much time on their hands.

I have my neighbours phone numbers - if it’s urgent we call or text.

He looked at me completely gone out what a bizarre turn of phrase. They were probably still in shock.

Of course nobody is obliged to answer their door.

But what exactly are you scared of?

I agree. I find it really odd. I can understand at night not opening the door, but during the day?!