Neighbour outraged I ignored the door

[Scrumbler]

For context I've lived in my home for 6 years, I have a baby and we get on with our neighbours very well usually.

Yesterday someone banged on the door a few times and I ignored it. I never answer my front door because everyone who I'm expecting use the side door. We get a lot of cold callers and religious people who knock alot so I will never answer it.
Today I see my neighbour and his son has a bandage on and I asked what happened, he'd had an accident yesterday in the street, my neighbour said his wife knocked on my door at the time for me to call an ambulance because she's panicked and left her phone in her house so I said I'd heard the knocking but didn't know what it was.
He looked at me completely gone out and then asked me why I'd ignored her. I explained I obviously didn't know it was an emergency or I would have course answered. But he told me I was selfish and slammed his door as he went in.
I carried on taking my shopping out of the car and then his wife comes out asking if I'd ignored her! I told her I don't answer that door and didn't know it was an emergency but she just went mad shouting how horrible that was and asked what kind of person doesn't answer there door.

I know their probably still shook up but I didn't know what had happened.
To clarify, their child seems fine from what the dad told me before he found out I'd ignored the door and turned out to be a very minor injury. I feel awful it happened but I didn't ignore them on purpose knowing they were needing an ambulance so I think they've been a bit over the top.

The YABUs are the kind of entitled fuckers I wouldn’t answer my door to.

Shocked that you YABU think the neighbours behaved reasonably.

im very lucky that I have a lovely neighbour

How awful, @sianiboo . No one would call your circumstances since that dreadful night normal and I hope everyone would understand your decision. I am so sorry this happened. How are you doing now?

@youshouldnthaveasked one can think OP might have investigated the possibility of an emergency without necessarily believing that the neighbour behaved reasonably.

I gotta ask.

How many times do people get knock on door unexpectedly really?
I get probably like 3 a month who are a door spam. And that's just in a summer. Winter is dead

It's up to you whether or not you answer your door and I bet the same people who are trying to shame you for not opening your door are the same crew who leave text messages/whatsapps unopend or on read for days on end as it's 'up to them' whether they respond or not.

Fact is that some people have preferred methods of communication. I've ignored my door in the past when I'm not expecting anyone. I'm not scared I just don't choose to be disturbed at that moment in time.

How would you know who we were? 🤔

I do ignore knocking, because of deliveries and salespeople. But I definitely would have answered banging, if only to tell them to stop.

You are certainly entitled to your viewpoint @FieldsOfRoses Just as I am entitled to believe it has a lot to do with the country’s growing unhappiness. In addition to the country rankings and national mental health statistics, I see this in the growing MH crisis amongst the excellent students at my university in the admin/pastoral side of my academic role.

My goto story on this is about a house fire... I watched 4 engines gather to battle it. Only a small terrace house but fire was spreading fast to other homes. Standing around chatting to People who had spotted flames in the roof & said they had to bang on door quite a while to get an answer, at door of the home-owner whose roof was on fire. The property-owner had no idea her roof was on fire, and didn't see why she should answer the door.

Lucky the door knockers were very persistent that time.

Your house - do you. Clearly their issue that you didn’t answer. If I was working or in my pjs I may leave it. But prob have a look to check it’s not important.

@FieldsOfRoses I am also not sure what the net curtain brigade - which I also abhor - have to do with the question of investigating banging that suggests a possible emergency. It’s all in the nuance

At least 2-3 times a week. Mainly parcels for neighbours, Jehova witness, collections from charity. I work from home, most of time on calls. I am not going to be a nuisance to my colleagues, interrupt a call they have waited weeks for to go down two flights of stairs to collect parcels for randoms or dither about some collections. Likewise if I am with my kids I spend my efforts on them. They are starved from attention as we have been apart all day.

If you want to learn about projection, there's a brilliant short talk by Stephanie Lyn: Understanding Projection and How to Handle it!

Thanks but I've heard loads about projection from you @Ellyesse.

You are not obligated to answer your door to anyone. They could have retrieved their own phone by the time they ran to yours and started banging. They could have shouted to you that it was an emergency and alerted you that they needed help. You did nothing wrong.

In this instance it seems that the child wasn't too badly injured and maybe wanting to ask you to ring for an ambulance might, in retrospect, appear to have been a little OTT? 🤔However for all you knew it could so easily have been otherwise because, for some bizarre and completely left field reason, you wouldn't ANSWER THE BLOODY DOOR!!!! 😏
The child could have been run over and desperately in need of medical attention but hey, you don't want to be bothered by a few 'cold calls' or as you called them 'religious people' so you just stayed in your bubble and didn't give a moment's thought to any other possibility?!! 🙄
You said and I quote: "I explained I obviously didn't know it was an emergency or I would have course answered." HOW can you judge if something is an 'emergency' if you don't EVEN LOOK?! 🤔
You should come down off your high horse, apologise to your neighbours and tell them you're glad their child is OK...Stop trying to justify your odd and insular behaviour, you're trying to defend the indefensible!! 😡

Or with a young baby at home perhaps not.more likely to be a unwanted cold caller than an emergency. but it wasn’t even an emergency it was an incident that happened because the unreasonable neighbours weren’t watching their child

So, you had the total audacity to make a decision about what was safest and easiest for your baby, in your own home, when someone who knows you don’t answer that particular door did a very non urgent knock, and I assume did no panicked screaming for help, and then they didn’t even try the door they know you actually answer?! How dare you?! 😆

Honestly, these people on here are being so self righteous and rude!! You are completely within your rights to behave in whatever way suits you, in your own home. The woman across the road apparently didn’t make it clear there was an emergency (however serious or minor), so you made your choice not to answer the door based on what you were aware (or not aware of) at the time.

If it was me, would I have answered the door? Probably. But I’m me, you’re you. And all these other judgemental people on here are likely exactly why some people don’t want to answer their doors!!

Learn to think on your feet!! I think it’s strange not to answer the door - but even worse to say that you heard it and chose not to.

if you had just said oh my goodness, I can’t believe I didn’t hear - I was in the bath or sleeping ect then you wouldn’t have got this response.

It’s not great saying oh I heard her knocking and didn’t help - which isn’t what you said but it’s what your neighbour heard.

I would move you will always be that neighbour now.

I'd be screaming through the letterbox. Had she no smoke alarm? Couldn't smell it?

Also, all these people saying they “don’t know a single person who doesn’t answer their door”…. Are you sure about that?

Maybe you knock on their door and walk away cos you think they’re not in….

Meanwhile your neighbours are all ducked down under the windowsill sniggering with relief they’ve avoided having to interact with you…

Everyone is on the side of the psycho neighbour? If only!