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Original poster

Neighbour outraged I ignored the door

1000 replies

Scrumbler · 01/02/2023 12:18

For context I've lived in my home for 6 years, I have a baby and we get on with our neighbours very well usually.

Yesterday someone banged on the door a few times and I ignored it. I never answer my front door because everyone who I'm expecting use the side door. We get a lot of cold callers and religious people who knock alot so I will never answer it.
Today I see my neighbour and his son has a bandage on and I asked what happened, he'd had an accident yesterday in the street, my neighbour said his wife knocked on my door at the time for me to call an ambulance because she's panicked and left her phone in her house so I said I'd heard the knocking but didn't know what it was.
He looked at me completely gone out and then asked me why I'd ignored her. I explained I obviously didn't know it was an emergency or I would have course answered. But he told me I was selfish and slammed his door as he went in.
I carried on taking my shopping out of the car and then his wife comes out asking if I'd ignored her! I told her I don't answer that door and didn't know it was an emergency but she just went mad shouting how horrible that was and asked what kind of person doesn't answer there door.

I know their probably still shook up but I didn't know what had happened.
To clarify, their child seems fine from what the dad told me before he found out I'd ignored the door and turned out to be a very minor injury. I feel awful it happened but I didn't ignore them on purpose knowing they were needing an ambulance so I think they've been a bit over the top.

OP posts:
Applesandcarrots · 02/02/2023 18:37

I just realised this is also part of one thing which I found bit weird in UK. Age of kids going out by themselves. Someone once explained to me that it is higher than in many other places because of a lack of community and others being helpful.
We even stayed at home alone quite young with instructions to run to neighbours if anything happens. If anything happened while out we could nock on door and get help. Still like that in there.
Now I see what that poster meant! Took me a while to realise🤦

fetchacloth · 02/02/2023 18:37

I live alone, so for my personal safety, I always look out of the front window to see who is standing at the front door before opening it.
If it's an unwanted sales call I just say 'no thanks' politely which usually works.
However I would have less patience with a drama queen neighbour!

I'm not scared of the front door - just careful🙂

Terraria · 02/02/2023 18:37

We are planning to install a front door cam, I hate having to get to the front door for cold callers when we are busy working or having meetings.

I wouldn't want to miss the knocks from my neighbours in case it's urgent.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 02/02/2023 18:38

limitedperiodonly · 02/02/2023 17:40

Me too @takealettermsjones but some people are not as conscientious as us.

A few months ago I left home to do some grocery shopping and saw a harried-looking woman knocking on the door of my neighbours. I asked her if I could help because I'm reckless like that and she explained she was from the council's electoral registration department following up on people who had not returned their forms either online or using the prepaid envelopes.

She didn't need to tell me, and I'm sure I don't have to tell you either that this was a legal obligation punishable by a fine at the discretion of the council. I didn't grass up Tim and Fleur next door and as Australian citizens I wasn't sure they were eligible to vote in UK elections anyway. Maybe local ones, but I digress. As a professional the woman didn't ask me about them or demand to see my papers.

She did say that the job was driving her mad particularly my street because there were a whole load of houses on her list she couldn't find. I said from time to time other people had come looking for the ghost houses. The answer was that,my side of the street started at 20 and the other side started at 19 because the lower numbers were demolished and lots of people killed by a great big bomb during the Second World . The council built an estate in the Sixties which had different numbers.

I said my neighbour told me the story, not Tim and Fleur, but Joan on the other side who was a child in the war and was now living near her son and daughter-in-law in Essex.

The woman said those poor people and asked if Joan had known any of them. I said she must have done. I said I'd lost touch with Joan but she might still be alive though she'd be in her 80s now.

The woman thanked me for clearing up the mystery and said she'd cross those numbers off her list and amend the council's record so no one else was sent out on a wild goose chase ever again.

It's amazing the things that happen when you're prepared to talk to strangers.

Show quote history

Interesting definition of “amazing”…

Applesandcarrots · 02/02/2023 18:38

fetchacloth · 02/02/2023 18:37

I live alone, so for my personal safety, I always look out of the front window to see who is standing at the front door before opening it.
If it's an unwanted sales call I just say 'no thanks' politely which usually works.
However I would have less patience with a drama queen neighbour!

I'm not scared of the front door - just careful🙂

But this is totally fine. You answer the door but safely for you. That's really valid option!

Heronwatcher · 02/02/2023 18:39

Very odd and U. There are many people with a legitimate need to contact you who might not know the code-of-side-door. Police, fire brigade, delivery driver, person with emergency. By all means get a peep hole but mad not to answer at all. At least put a sign there or something.

Pennyfin81 · 02/02/2023 18:40

I'd just ignore them they sound like a bunch of drama queen's.

At the end of the whether you answer the door is entirely up to you you don't owe anyone your time or attention.

Sleepless1096 · 02/02/2023 18:42

Bizarre responses.

There are lots of reasons why someone might not answer the door. Mine might be... not dressed, in my pyjamas, breastfeeding the baby, changing a nappy, kids in the bath, chasing naked child around the house, doing bedtime and everyone's finally about to fall asleep, me in the bath, me in the shower, up in the loft, just about to extract a pizza from the oven, asleep on the sofa and don't feel like getting up. If anyone gave me abuse over this, I'd think it was very odd indeed.

Valenle91 · 02/02/2023 18:43

First off, no it is NOT weird or odd to NOT answer the door and its within your right to do so. Your neighbors are being extremely unreasonable and I would just ignore them. You don't owe them anything and you had no idea it was an emergency. Mom needs to take responsibility for the fact she left the house without her phone and stop blaming you, an innocent neighbor. They are the ones being extremely selfish. I also never answer the door unless I know its the postman or someone I know. There have been many instances of people knocking on a door to see if there’s a dog and if the home would be an easy target for theft or worse. We live in very trying times right now where people will do literally anything for money and no good deed goes unpunished. I wouldn’t have opened the door either and frankly, the boy was fine so I don't understand why they are so angry. That’s a them problem and not a you problem. The world does not owe you kindness so stop expecting it. If someone choose to show it then great but no one owes anyone anything in this life. Life is hard, get a helmet.

AnnieSnap · 02/02/2023 18:44

BrassMarbles · 01/02/2023 12:33

They are being unreasonable to call an ambulance for a minor injury. Sound like drama llamas and he was downright rude.

Your post is quite nasty. The parents were obviously alarmed at the time, fearing that it was serious. The OP, having seen the child subsequent to the incident is assuming it was a minor injury. No doubt you would criticise parents Who were too relaxed about an injured child, as well as “drama lamas” 🙄

limitedperiodonly · 02/02/2023 18:45

Interesting definition of “amazing”…

Do you think so @WomanStanleyWoman2 ? I never cease to be amazed by people

fatchilli123 · 02/02/2023 18:45

Can't believe how many people don't read the original properly .
My neighbour never answers her door either (nowhere did she say she was scared that I saw in a couple of answers) lots of people I know don't use their front doors ever either.
My door I have to leave actually open because people won't wait for me to get to the door because they are too dam impatient. I know I should sit by the door just in case right in the freezing cold this time if year 🙃

She has been there long enough that they probably know she uses side door only .
Did she have any time to say if she was in the bath or something , who knows, small baby so is probably sleep deprived too, not firing on all cylinders on auto.

If no one answered to me and it was an emergency and I knew there was someone in I would be shouting through the letterbox FIRE she would have known it was the neighbour then and needed needed help 🤔

Ok now I will go burn in a pit of oil😂

Girlgift97 · 02/02/2023 18:46

Valenle91 · 02/02/2023 18:43

First off, no it is NOT weird or odd to NOT answer the door and its within your right to do so. Your neighbors are being extremely unreasonable and I would just ignore them. You don't owe them anything and you had no idea it was an emergency. Mom needs to take responsibility for the fact she left the house without her phone and stop blaming you, an innocent neighbor. They are the ones being extremely selfish. I also never answer the door unless I know its the postman or someone I know. There have been many instances of people knocking on a door to see if there’s a dog and if the home would be an easy target for theft or worse. We live in very trying times right now where people will do literally anything for money and no good deed goes unpunished. I wouldn’t have opened the door either and frankly, the boy was fine so I don't understand why they are so angry. That’s a them problem and not a you problem. The world does not owe you kindness so stop expecting it. If someone choose to show it then great but no one owes anyone anything in this life. Life is hard, get a helmet.

YES it is odd and weird!

FieldsOfRoses · 02/02/2023 18:47

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Heronwatcher · 02/02/2023 18:49

@FieldsOfRoses I was thinking more along the lines of “door not in use” but on reflection your sign is probably more appropriate!

LakieLady · 02/02/2023 18:50

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Maybe put the knocker or bell in a glass case, with a sign saying "In case of emergency, break glass".

Sennelier1 · 02/02/2023 18:50

Unless there is a sign saying "please use other door" I always ring or knock on the front door. Most people don't do that unless they really need you to open the door. You don't want to, fine, that's your prerogative. Your door in your house. But it's weird and absolutely a-social.

Just tell me.....if you need your neighbour in an emergency, like in the middle of the night, where are you going to knock or ring?

Girlgift97 · 02/02/2023 18:52

Mumof3premies · 02/02/2023 18:25

If someone shouted police I’d then look out my window.

But why is that any less dangerous than if they don't shout police?

Gwenhwyfar · 02/02/2023 18:52

"If someone shouted police I’d then look out my window."

Depending on where they stand, I can't see someone at my door from my window.

Rollingaroundinmud · 02/02/2023 18:53

BurntOutGirl · 01/02/2023 12:27

Surely going back in their own home for the phone would be quicker then repeatedly banging on yours

Not many people have common sense as you can see from some of the replies.

Valenle91 · 02/02/2023 18:54

No it really isn’t. You may think it is but who are YOU to say what is weird or odd to other people? Many people don't answer the door especially when they live an area that is constantly targeted by solicitors. Like I said, the world doesn’t owe you anything and no one is obligated to answer their door day and night. To make the OP feel bad about it says more about YOU than it does the OP for not answering her door.

I unfortunately answered my door two weeks ago and was scammed by travelers who said they would fix a leak I currently and they got £750 out of me! I will NEVER answer my door again!

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 02/02/2023 18:55

Girlgift97 · 02/02/2023 18:14

But supposing its someone that's come across your hurt child (adult child) you wouldn't want to know?

How very very odd!

No, block and report as spam!

And the onus isn't on the other person to leave a voicemail as they might also have "anxiety" not want to leave a voicemail and have chosen to withhold their number.

It's not all about you!

Show quote history

Too anxious to leave a voicemail, but not too anxious to make the call in the first place? Riiiiiight…

People are sometimes just away from their phones for some reason, you know. Can’t answer whilst at work; in the bath or on the toilet; left it on charge whilst popping to the shops… are you really saying that someone who is bothered enough to call you and let you know that someone who had an accident would simply go into a huff, say “Hmph - well, if they can’t be bothered to answer…” and then make no further attempt to relay the news?

MummyJ36 · 02/02/2023 18:55

Each to their own. You don’t owe someone the right to open your door to them. I started getting very cautious about this when I opened the door once to what I thought was a cold caller. She didn’t seem altogether there and noticed my baby and said she would get diseases if I didn’t sign up to this odd direct debit she was peddling. I said no thanks and shut the door. Ten minutes later I hear my porch door open (inner door was shut) and see her shuffling around in my porch and looking in my coat pockets. I was completely freaked out and since then have locked both doors. If I don’t want to open the door I won’t open it. The Amazon man has rung frantically on the doorbell before so it’s not a given then a lot of rings is an emergency.

ToWhitToWhoo · 02/02/2023 18:56

Well, I think it's slightly U never to answer the front door, unless you are being actively harrassed or stalked by someone; but that is up to you. Your neighbours are over-reacting. As a pp said, you should make it cleat to them that you didn't know it was THEM; not just that you didn't know that it was an emergency.

category12 · 02/02/2023 18:57
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